should a couple have a baby before marriage or after - and how long ?

My opinion & it is only my opinion is that it is preferable to wait until after marriage to have a baby. But if it happens before what can you do but deal with it & try & be the best parents you can be. I do not agree with having multiple children with multiple partners.

And I am not talking about a long term marriage ending in divorce & getting remarried & having more children I'm talking about baby mama/baby daddy baloney. I think a year is a good amount of time to wait to have a baby after marriage BUT do not wait until you can AFFORD CHILDREN BECAUSE THAT DAY WILL NEVER COME! Just do the best you can & make a happy home for your children.

I agree with the first post saving will never come is right but in march we are going to start to try b/c after lots of talking we decided the timing was right. you just got to talk and decided what time is right for you. But whole heartedly i agree with the first post having multi babies with multi people isn't right also before marriage you better be engaged first and about to be married

I think a couple should wait until you get married to have a baby. I know lots of people who had a kid before they got married and the girls did not get to have the wedding of their dream because of the baby. I am getting married In November and we are going try right after we get married but we both want kids and we want to try and have 3 kids before 30 or just a little over I will 26 and my husband to be will be 25 3 months after the wedding.

In my opinion god will bless you with the gift of a child when you are ready & this is varies from person to person.

I always say that no one is ever ready for a child. You can be rich beyond your imagination and have the perfect marriage and you still wouldn't be ready. That's because you just never know what to expect during the pregnancy, or even after you have the baby...you just never know! Anyway, I think the best to have a baby is when you BOTH feel its right, I wouldn't recommend having a baby before marriage, but things happen. I married my husband after a 7year relationship and we both were ready for kids then, its been a little over a year since our wedding day and I am currenly 7 months pregnant and we're both estatic, but we get more and more nervous as our due date approaches...we just don't know whats going to happen after he comes. The moment you find out your pregnant, your whole life changes!

My husband and I waited for everything. We didn't even live together until after our wedding. Just call me traditional but I think it's alot easier to have a baby after you're married. You've already made that commitment to one another so you don't have to worry about going about it alone. Before naysayers bring up the current divorce rate, just remember that it's not at 100% so whatever percentage that's getting divorced, that other percentage is making it work! And children always need both parents.

As for time, well, since we've been married that's all everyone asks us now and it is a bit annoying. We're just going to let God decide and when it happens it happens. But we're not putting time restrictions on ourselves like 'I want 2 kids before I'm 30'. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just our preference to let nature take it's course and children really are a blessing. So I can't wait until we can start that next chapter in our lives.

Hello,

There is some really great advice given here. I just wanted to add something. Having a child is a large responsibilty rich or not so rich. You have to ask your self, "am I having this child for selfish reasons or because I want to give life." I see so often folks have a child and then the first thing they do is stick the baby into a day care or they are just not there for the child. The first year is the most important for an infant. Just because a daycare offers infant care does not mean it is the smartest thing to do. Are you willing to sacrifice your financial and social freedom for the wellfare of your child? I believe the greatest gift a person could give is love. If you can love your child, yourself and your husband then by all means do what you feel is best for you and your family. There is not any right or wrong answer, that any one, other than you can supply. Good luck and enjoy!

I would say after their married and maybe two years later so you can get settled financially

YOU SHOULD HAVE A BABY WHENEVER YOUR HEART DESIRES!!!

Wait. You know how people say, "having children will change your life." Well, you really don't what that means until you actually have a child! As a mother, I say wait - give you and your new marriage some time...Make sure your marriage is a solid foundation before taking the awesome responsibility of a child - who will benefit from your great relationship and the sound foundation already established. Money helps, but it's not the "cure all." There are MANY people out there who have a lot of money and are terrible paretns! When you have a child it's not about you anymore - it's so much bigger. All the best to you!

http://mcscanzano.blogspot.com/

We weren't planning on having children till after we were married but we were told i couldn't have kids and ended up pregnant a week later...We've been together almost five years I think it depends on the couple, he wasn't planned but we were blessed he came when he did because his gma got to see him before she passed away. It isn't changing us having the wedding of our dreams we're still doing the things we wanted to do before however if we could have waited we would have. we've always looked at things that if it is meant to be it will happen when it happens. Things definately change with a child. Depends on the couple and what they believe

I think it just depends. I have some friends that have three and four kids and are now getting married. Me and my fiance have been together for 7 years now and our daughter is about to turn two years old. If my options were different, I would have waited, but I wouldn't change it. She is beautiful and now we have a flower girl for the wedding. It just depends whether you feel you are ready or not.

Although, I can honestly say you are never fully ready [emotionally or financially].... but what your heart feels and you will know if it is right for you.

Children are a blessing from God

God has a sense of humor sometimes about when he decides you should have them

if you can hold off until you have your house in order, it seems to work out for the better for many people

I'm a new mommy again with a 1yr old if you're not emotionally,physically,and financially ready wait and use lots of birthcontrol until you have these factors under way.They have so much energy and if you're a newly wed it's not fair to your spouse and the babies if you have mutiples on the 1st try God works in mysterious ways.Enjoy each other's company as much as possible and then bring someone new the baby into the picture.

My FH and I are waiting two years after we're married to start having kids. This way, I will be able to get my masters degree and have enough money in our emergency savings.

It is most definitely better to wait until after the wedding to have children since you have the choice. However, there is no shame in being unmarried with children. My fiance and I have been together for over 11 years. We have a 5 year old daughter and she will be the flower girl at our 2009 wedding! I will say we are sacrificing the honeymoon part of the deal for family vacation but I wouldn't have it any other way!

I would say if your already sleeping together get married sooner then 2012

like in 10 months then start having kids.

I agree with everyone. My husband and I lived together before we were married but I was off to schoo till this december. I am currently looking for a job. I would say if you are faithful to any God or religion. Pray and hope your heart and body will tell you when it is ready for kids. I had a pregnancy scarc this semester but if you get pregnant before marriage make the best for your kid(s) but wait and make sure you are at least semi-finicially ready for a kid(s)

I think it's a personal preference. Honestly I wanted to have kids with my hubby before I was 30 (we got married when I was 24 and he was 23) and our son came out a month after our Wedding. If you can handle the pressure of getting married after having a child or while you're pregnant than why not before. Finding a wedding dress when you're pregnant is hard given you need space for the baby in your stomach. I was going to wait to have our Wedding after our baby came, but my mom insisted on my hubby and I getting married before the baby came, so that he would grow up with both parents in his life. Whenever the timing is right for you and if certain genetic defects like if early menopause runs in your family (like it does in mine) and you want a child, then talk to your significant other and see if the timing is right to try with them. Honestly do what feels right for you on when to try to have a baby.

I have known my fiance since I was 3 years old. We dated when I was a senior in High school and we've been together ever since. We had our 1st baby in 2007. Our second child is due in July of this year. You should decide for yourself when you want to have kids. We weren't ready to get married yet because I was still in college. We've been saving for our wedding for awhile now. Now we're ready to get married. It is your choice like it was ours.