She moved her date to when?

View Quoted Comment Do you actually know the dates of when your friends / family members got engaged? I sure as heck barely remember my own date!

View Quoted Comment When someone gets engaged on the same date, it makes it very easy to remember actually

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Why does it matter? If you are hung up that someone got engaged the same day as you, it is immature and petty - OP needs to get over it. NOTHING will ever take away from my engagement date, I don't care if everyone I know ends up sharing the date.

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Then... that's her fault, dude. You need to let this tf go.

View Quoted Comment This does not make sense to me. Perhaps I am misunderstanding. Moving it for 2021 does not make sense? Why? You cannot understand people wanting to be married a full year earlier, if the reasons they may have originally had to wait an extra year changed, and they are financially and emotionally ready now? If you had everything you needed to marry done this year, would you still want another year for no good reason? And maybe being married earlier has positive benefits, in terms of jobs, housing. People who will be around this year, scattered next. ,.......,...............And you say "So to the OP, you're probably fine because she'll probably need to postpone/have a lot of no RSVPs anyway....". How does it help OP if she postpones? She is 4 months before OP now. If she postpones to any time in the following 8 months, they will marry closer to OP wedding, only 3 months apart, or two, or marry the same month, horror of horrors. I don't see that being better for OP. And why would it be fine, any better than now, for OP, if her FI's sister and her groom have a lot of no RSVPs anyway? Are you suggesting that OP would actually be happier if few people came to FSIL wedding? That sounds pretty unpleasant, to be happier if someone else has few people at their wedding. How does that make OP feel better? ...Surely OP's groom does not want his sister's wedding to have few people there. This whole thing does not seem at all right, or nice. The FSIL bride and her groom deserve some happiness too.

View Quoted Comment Hi Judith. My response is 100% influenced by the shutdowns currently being caused by covid-19. When you take that into consideration her rescheduling to do it this year the spring is unsafe because of the guests she will put at risk. I agree with what you’re saying about moving it up, under normal circumstances. But with everything going on with covid-19, I wouldn’t consider that normal circumstance I think it’s odd to reschedule to June when so many June brides are choosing to postpone.....I hope that helps you understand my comment

View Quoted Comment Obviously, I don't know your groom's sister's family and friends, or her groom's. But maybe they have reasons why they are going to marry anyway, and not wait, guests or no guests. Some reasons might be very personal, or medical. But I also know some people who have said this, who startled me at first. Then I understood. A near neighbor I grew up with is planning first week in July. We are not going, as with 5 kids staying home, we are not mixing with others. But about 50 are on the list whom they expect will attend. We have already decided that since the couple are moving in together for the first time, we will do a house warming and shower them with household items after the wedding. And talking on the phone, I began to understand. Everyone
I heard of is in a non-medical setting, but in an essential job. They are wearing masks and gloves, but in the back rooms of a grocery store, as staff in a drugstore chain, as police officers, cell tower maintanence or phone and cable line workers, they are already going out every day, 10-12 hours for some, mixing with other people. Co-workers, and the public. And no one is over 50, and none have young children. So they figure, if they all make it for more than 3 months, within 4-6 feet of 50-200 people every day, in order to keep essential services going for the rest of us, then go home to family who do the same, spending one day with 50 people is no big deal. They will have some protective gear if warrented. They will keep their distance and no dancing. And for 4 hours, they will see the couple marry in a home farm outdoors, have a religious service by clergy in the family, a big dinner outside . And the couple will be married. People are kind of judgemental about gatherings now. Many are simply foolish risktaking. But for people working 5-6 days a week, with the public, for months, it will be fewer people than they see in a workday, for all of them.
It sounds unkind, to me, for people to take satisfaction in knowing a wedding will have limited guests. Or to assume people are taking risks. When you do not know that they are. I assumed at first these people were engaging in risky behavior to have a wedding. And I was wrong.

I wouldn't care at all. If anything, I'd be excited because I love weddings lol

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This is just incredible! I have always loved the idea of a big family. Do you get to stay in touch with a lot of them? 45 cousins sounds so fun! I have only 12 immediate family members and 5 cousins total.

Are you already married? Wouldn't this make the guest count close to or over 300? That would be hard to plan!

You make a great point though. My MOH has a large family and has often had years with 3-4 weddings to attend. For smaller families, like mine, this would never happen.

Sorry you are getting so much hate! People on this site can be ruthless. And I am sorry your future SIL is making you feel bad. I agree that I wouldn't care about the 4 month time frame because its far enough away from yours, it's just very odd how it happened. I think it is safe to say she moved the wedding date for personal reasons and not to mess with you though. Also, while she might have known your engagement date, I don't think you could expect her fiance to have know, right? My fiance could hardly tell you our date. He would know it was the day after Thanksgiving but he wouldn't know it was November 23rd...

I can understand you gut reaction here and I don't blame you for it. But I also think (hope) that this will not bother you years from now when you look back on it. I had a teacher once who's future SIL got engaged after her and then picked a date just one month before her already scheduled date. She then proceeded to pick the same wedding color, theme, and decor. She made everyone think that my teacher was copying her and told my teacher to pick a new idea. THAT would be rude. That would make me mad for years...

View Quoted Comment We did not have children 18 months to 15 at our wedding. Because it would have meant 170 more guests. We had 15 in a nursery room, 13 under 6 month babies in need of feeding, etc, and hired staff from a local hospital. That helped. And most Of my family in one area, his down in NYC. So we held the wedding in the Catskills, where see etal of his family share a few cottages. The day after our wedding, most friends left except wedding party. So family with kids had a noon to dark outdoor cookout. For 320. But cheap. And though we planned it, and our parents did not pay for the wedding, our older relatives kicked in for an Italian festival band, and an uncle who is a provisioner onated 140 pounds of meat and cheese.
3 towns in one school system after 5th grade. Small towns, 600-3000 each. And I had 8 same age cousins and my same age brother, in my grade. And6 of us brothers and sisters, and 30 cousins were in 8-12 at one point. . not counting second cousins. Lots of his relatives run small businesses. If one uncle came, his partner could not. So the wedding itself was 167 plus babies. Friends who ow property with us came up when we were house hunting, and people from a conference she was at, could not flyout for 2 days. My friends could not believe mom could pull together dinner for 60 from food in the house, on 3 hours notice. Family helps family.

View Quoted Comment I agree, and in June it may not happen. But whether to wait a whole year is not something others can expect. Having them a couple months apart in no way hurts OP. You cannot own a period of time .

View Quoted Comment I read your post, and went back and re-read the whole post and all responses. And there is no hate here. None. People are not saying what poster wants to hear. But except for TV land, it has never been off limits to have 2 family weddings in one month, never mind d 4. And people are over and over saying, OP has no reason to believe any bride has claim on months if time. And encouraging her to try to make something good of having a happy several months. Nothing hateful I could find. No personal attacks, no calling names. Saying a behavior is not polite, or called for, is not an attack. People are pointing out there are norms of expected behavior for adults, and what she wants is not fair. That is an opinion . Not hate.

View Quoted Comment Please stop commenting on this post. No longer looking for opinions

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Please stop commenting

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What hate?

Sorry 4 months is a long time. It's a different season. No one would be comparing you guys wedding. and people will still be able to travel to both. I think it's good timing.