Serving Minimal Alcohol at a Wedding

I am sure everyone ( mostly) will agree with me in saying that yes it is your day so do what you like but in reality the wedding is yours and the reception is the party for all not just you and the FH ... Think about those people that will be there and decide from there... Ask some of the brides that are on here and they will say the same I am sure... as for a cash bar... THAT is tacky for sure... You are inviting people to your wedding and most if not all will be coming with some sort or check or money in a card for you and the FH so to ask them to pay for alcohol too really??? And it is beer and wine not even a full open bar...

I am just being real with not intent on being crass about your day but really a cash bar???

Welcome to WW Tori ~

As long as you have some kind of spirits available, most drinkers will be happy. Many suggest beer, wine and a signature drink.... but since you don't drink alcohol, maybe talk to the bartender and see if they can think of something that would mix well with the coffee? I love me some Bailey's in my coffee! Maybe a signature coffee drink that can be with or with out alcohol.

~ happy planning ~

I am serving alcohol seeing that I have to spend a certain amount on food and beverage for my venue. I however don't want everyone to get drunk on my dime so I have decided on signature drinks. my colors are baby pink, silver, and chocolate so I have a pink drink and a chocolate drink. After all my signatures are gone then the bar turns into a cash bar, people aren't going to want to spend alot of getting drunk money so that will cut down on the boozers.

Hi Tori, congrats on your wedding and welcome to WW!

Having alcohol at a wedding does not mean people will get drunk or rowdy. However, many people like to have a drink or two at a party. As Melissa said, the reception is really a thank you to your guests for coming to a party. It's great that energy drinks are your favorite - but your guests may not like them. That's a very specific choice. Please keep in mind that you're not doing the reception only for yourself but for your guests.

As far as caffeine goes, I'm a huge coffee drinker, and except perhaps for a shot of espresso would not consume anything at a coffee bar unless it's the middle of the day. And if it's not a financial issue, please don't make people pay for what they consume at your party.

I think your idea is fine!

Thanks Mrs S =] I just think having a cash bar is tacky period...do some signature alcohol cocktails instead of a free for all... that is all with beer wine and soda and water too and also the energy drinks for you of course but dont make people pay for the drinks ... they came to see and celebrate with you and the FH. Not to go out to a party and pay for alcohol and on top of the card no less.

I think your alcohol amount will be fine. The coffee bar sounds awesome! I do have an issue with people assuming just because someone has alcohol at their wedding, that everyone will get drunk. Most people have self control and know when to stop. And I may be the only one out there but i'm looking forward to the drunk people at my wedding. It means they're having a good time and taking full advantage of the open bar we are paying for. Besides, they are usually pretty entertaining and we have a photobooth so it will make for some fun photos! My only restriction was that FH keep his groomsmen and himself sober until the reception. They are all going golfing first and they tend to drink a bunch when they golf, especially since the wedding is in Aug and it will be hot. Anyways, to get back to the point, beer and wine will be fine or do some signature cocktails. As long as there is an option of a "drink" then most people are happy!

I keep hearing over and over that brides don't want people getting drunk on their dime. Am I the only one that is excited about my guests "getting drunk" on my dime? I am looking quite forward to the photo ops that will most definitely occur with my friends and family and Mr. Jack Daniels

As for the initial post, I think as long as you are offering only beer and wine it should NOT be a cash bar. If you offer a full bar and choose to do a cash bar that's a bit different. If you do opt for a cash bar make sure you spread the info via word of mouth so your guests are prepared.

Oh and a coffee bar sounds divine! I'm a huge coffee fan

Shoulda read ahead! Future Mrs. Bansmer I totally agree!!

Another thing you could consider is having a morning wedding and a brunch reception. People don't tend to drink that much early in the day, so you could limit the alcohol to just something like mimosas. And of course, the coffee would work with that.

Just because you provide alcohol, it doesn't mean your reception will turn into a wild drunken party. Most people can control themselves. However, I think if you are providing some type of alcohol, most people will be okay with that. If you can't do a signature cocktail, then have a cash bar for the rest of the drinks. If its not a financial issue, then do an open bar. I wish I could, but we can only afford the beer and wine option.

I think having beer and wine is fine. I would say you might want to have a good selection. If I went to a wedding and my only beer option was Miller Lite, I'd be kinda unhappy. And for folks who are into wine, the el-crappo house wines won't be up to standards either.

I'm hoping that there will be soda and such available. If you only had crappy beer and coffee and energy drinks available, I'd be relegated to drink water. I don't like coffee or energy drinks. =(

We are also only doing beer and wine. Adding champagne also. Thats all the alcohol that will be served. Im sure you will be fine.

I totally agree with you Tori.. I myself have a similar issue with it. I think your idea is great. I dont think the reception is for everyone else its is for you and your FH. Its YOUR DAY... RIGHT? I also know that about fifty percent of people who drink loose all their reasoning after they start to get a few in.. A lof of people cant control themselves.. I say good idea..

I think beer and wine is fine. If you want to add a signature drink or champagne to that you can but you don't have to. One alternative to champagne is Cava- it's a bubbly spanish white wine, usually you can get quality Cava for a lot less than you get quality champagne.

The coffee bar sounds nice too. It doesn't hurt to serve energy drinks and other things you like, as long as you have your guests covered with the beer and wine. I will say that caffeine is no substitute for alcohol though! If I sipped red bull for 4 hours at your wedding, I would be a spazzy nervous wreck with an ulcer.

And keep the bar open. Having a cash bar b/c you don't want people to get drunk is like charging for cake b/c you don't want people to get fat. Your guests are adults. They will moderate themselves. Those who can't, would do so whether they had to pay for it or not.

@Tina S. I'm sorry but that is so not true. Where did you get that statistic???

I like the idea of serving beer and wine only if you are uncomfortable with too much alcohol but please don't make it a cash bar. And I love the idea of a coffee bar. Maybe add a few biscotti too, yum!

This is actually my first post, but this one was a big consideration for me and my fiancé.

Our family and friends don't really drink. It's more of a religious consideration than just a personal preference, the church I grew up in and am getting married in does not allow drinking (or dancing for that matter).

I know some of our out of town guests drink, but I don't think they have to have booze to have a good time and I know we will have a great DJ.

So, we are having a dry wedding even though our reception is at another location, but I think most of the weddings in our community are dry or possibly have a champagne toast. It was more of a shrug for me, I don't think anyone will miss it here and we sure won't miss the cost.

Kris s.: 69% of statistics are completely imaginary.

Personally, I think the reception is a way of thanking the guests for sharing your day with you. The reception is the first party you throw as a married couple, and as such you need to be gracious hosts who accommodate your guests to the best of your ability. This "YOUR DAY!" nonsense leads straight to Bridezilla-town, with a stopoff in Egomania Alley.

I think a beer and wine only bar is fine, as is a brunch reception where you serve mimosas and champagne only. Cash bars, when you have the funds available for a host bar, are just rude and inconsiderate - would you charge a houseguest $5 to grab a beer out of your fridge?

The vast majority of people who consume alcohol are social drinkers - they have a couple of drinks, catch a buzz, and have a good time. They don't drive afterwards, get in fights, or cause any trouble. Yes, there are people who turn into blithering morons when they drink, but that's not at all typical.

So why penalize your guests because of the off chance you might have one blithering moron at your reception?

Sorry for the long post - I've noticed a lot of WW brides get rather priggish about alcohol, "Everyone who drinks is bad! If you want to have a drink at a wedding that makes you an alcoholic! My third cousin got really trashed once, so now NO ONE can have alcohol, ever!" I find it counterproductive - getting all fraidy cat about alcohol just makes people drink more because if it's taboo, then it's cool.