sending timely Thank You notes

I have not gotten a Thank You card from a single solitary couple in the last five years, and that includes weddings, bridal showers, and engagement parties. I didn't even get a card from my best friend when she got married!

I have however gotten a timely thank you card from every mother-to-be that I have ever sent a baby shower gift too. Hmmmm.....why is that??

@Monica Hmm, fascinating! I have no idea why that is. Maybe new mothers are taking responsibility more seriously? I don't know, but in my opinion, I think new wives should get their acts together & learn some manners! Thanks for your post

I think that you are completely reasonable, thank-you notes are one thing that you should always go by etiquette rules. My FH and I have decided we will do thank-you notes as soon as we get our pictures from our photographer so we can include a web link for people to check out pictures (not to get them to buy anything, but just to see some pictures of the wedding). Our photographer may take about a month to get all our pictures to us but once we have them we'll probably just work on them for a couple days and be done. There's no excuse for not sending a thank you note. Especially since you came all the way from out of town! Yikes!

Oooooh....this really irritates me! I created a whole thread ranting on thank you notes and its one of my biggest pet peeves!!!!

I would say at 3 months out you should be a little irritated. But I'd also assume you may not be receiving any thank you cards at this point. Sorry about your friends. I would try not to take it personally though I'm sure you're not the only person on their guest lists that bought them a gift and did not receive a thank you card.

We just BARELY met our 3 month deadline, but with a hundred to write...and life happening...it can be a terribly daunting task. Hopefully you're thank you notes arrive soon.

I don't think you are old fashioned to be expecting a thank you note. One of my biggest pet peeves are when people don't send thank you notes for a gift. Some people lack manners & common sense...

ETA: I'm still waiting on thank you notes from a few weddings in 2012... Three of them... All first cousins...

I've attended 5 weddings this year and I think 3 showers. The only wedding I haven't received a thank you note from was only a week ago, but all the other ones have come within a few weeks of the wedding. However, one bride thanked me for the wrong gift. Is that better or worse than not getting one at all?

@Caitlin, I think I would rather be thanked for the wrong gift than not get one. That just says to me that something got mixed up somewhere (and can legitimately happen), read the card wrong or maybe there were two Caitlin's she receive a gift from but at least she did the right and courteous thing and her intentions were good.

While I completely disagree, some people think they have a year. You don't. Send that shit out!

For all the presents that we have received prior to the wedding, I have tried to accomplish a one day turn around. So basically, it's in their mailbox four days after they sent the gift.

I will take a week off for the honeymoon, but on October 13th, I will be pushing them out!

The last wedding I went to (September 2013) the couple actually wrote out half of their thank-you cards on each leg of their honeymoon flights! So half of the guests got TY cards postmarked in their 1st HM stop and the other half got TY cards postmarked in their 2nd HM stop. I thought it was so cute and thoughtful that they wanted to get their cards out ASAP. But the bride is like that - very Type-A & totally on top of things like that.

I'm sorry you haven't gotten TY cards yet though.. it sucks to not feel appreciated but I wouldn't expect them after this long..

I sent out all shower Thank You notes within about 2 weeks of each shower... any in between gifts had a written Thank You card sent out by the next business day or so. I sent my Thank You cards out for wedding gifts within 2 months of the wedding... my benchmark was before my cousin's wedding.

I'm so glad I worked my ass off for that... I went to a baby shower a month ago.. I still don't have a Thank You card for that (different cousin), but they literally had a hospital staycation for about a week, and then they had the baby a month early on Sunday evening.

Soooo... they get a pass until they can get things to settle down.

Well, for the wedding in July, it has not even been 3 months yet, July was 2 months ago. And for the one in June, they are still in the 3 month range now. Give those people a little leeway before you get irritated. They could still be coming. 3 months is the most common guideline I've seen. But yes, in general, it is very poor manners not to send thank you notes and people have the right to be annoyed if they don't receive them. Guests spend a lot of money on wedding gifts and should be properly thanked.

Nicole, I totally agree with you regarding thank you notes. I think it's just a common courtesy to acknowledge a gift with a thank you note. Even last year when Hubby and I had our housewarming, I sent out thank you notes for the gifts we received. And our vow renewal was last month on the 23rd and I'm writing out the remainder of mine and mailing today. I only had 21 to do, but I kept putting it off and a month has already passed.

I mentioned this in a previous thread that an attorney I work with got married last September and I gave her a gift. Never received a thank you card. She gave me a gift for our vow renewal, and I gave her a thank you card on Monday. Another attorney I work with got married last October and I gave him a gift and received a thank you card about a month after. And I went to a bridal shower in April of this year and still have not received a thank you card for the gift.

I guess not everyone thinks thank you cards are important. SMH

I've heard that you have a year to send thank yous but I think that is way too much time. 3 months to me should be the limit. I do know that it seems like less and less people send them. I never got one from my brother and I stood up in his wedding, drove all over town for my sister-in-law, made her hair appointment, went and got her veil after she forgot it for that appointment, and gave them an amazing gift. I didn't get any sort of thank you.

I received two gifts last week (Wednesday and Saturday) and thank you cards went out on Tuesday. My wedding isn't for another 2 weeks but I didn't want people wondering if I received it. I hope to have thank you cards done the week after we return from our honeymoon.

I am seeing this new trend, at least with one person I know, of having preprinted thank you cards at the event you attend and they are attached to your favor.

FI's cousin had an engagement party and their favor/thank you was a STD combined with a thank you note.... At their couples bridal shower their thank you was attached to a cupcake you took home. At her personal shower(whole other story) she handed out plastic baggies with sponges, candy and a preprinted thank you. And at her bachelorette party, we got a mass text thanking us..

Her wedding is next weekend, I better get a real thank you note or I might flip.

Have you guys heard of Postable? My sister used it for all her thank you cards and said it was a lifesaver

I think the 1-year deadline is for people to give the newlyweds a wedding present. It is not for TY notes.

While waiting for your photos, write your notes, address & stamp your envelopes, and when the pics arrive just pop them in the envelopes & drop in the mail.

A friend's daughter got married. Their card box was near the door and I saw many people milling around the entrance. When we did not receive a timely TY for the cash we gave in a card, I got worried that the card had been stolen. So, I asked the mom about it. She asked the daughter. Daughter finally E-MAILED me a TY about 6 months after the wedding! Needless to say, she won't get another gift.

Good, I'm glad we're all in agreement. Maybe my friends just aren't well versed in etiquette. Oh well, I'll show them how it's done. My goal is to get them all out 1 month after the wedding, though I do like the suggestion of doing them on the plane to & from the honeymoon. @John, no, I haven't heard of Postable but I'll look it up. Thanks all for your wonderful input xo

Holy smokes they/we have 3 months to get TY notes out?? For the 3 weddings I've been to this year (May, and 2 in August) I got the notes within 3 weeks!! And every bridal shower/baby shower the TY notes have been within a month. I think 3 months is waaaaay too long to get them out. Especially when we get up in arms about getting RSVPs in a timely manner. Guests should get a RSVP within the same timeline we set for RSVPs. Unless you are taking 2 months for a honeymoon, even with a full time job and a personal life, you should get them out before then. I agree that it's bad etiquette for your friends.