Sending an invite out of courtesy..?

Oh, Jules, I feel for you! Every situation is different, but here goes.

I have family I wondered about inviting, for very different reasons, but still, I fretted. I decided to invite them, and I'm glad I did.

As for acquaintances, I'm inviting a few people I know will not be able to attend. One is an acquaintence, and will be overseas, but I want him to feel welcomed, anyway. He inadvertantly helped me meet my future hubby, so I'll enclose a note with his invite, along the lines of "Xavier, I know you'll be out of the country, but I really appriciate your "help" in meeting Josh, and your wisdom you've shared..." etc.

Maybe that's an option? Include a note that maybe lets them know they're not obligated, but that you appriciate their kindness?

I was on a very small guest-list, if I wasn't "close" to them and had doubts about it, I left them out.

However there were exceptions, which i only considered when i was sure it wasn't going to go over my budget. Such exception was a case like yours, "a sister to a friend that was invited"

If your budget is tight, don't send one, they could just attend. If you run into anyone and you are questioned, simply tell them you had a limited guest list. With regard to the sister of a friend, I think you have to send her an invite.

I had a few courtesy invites. Fortunately, they were weeded out with the STD mailing.

My daughter had several courtesy invites. One was to my godmother in Virginia Beach. Cate wrote a letter as Miranda P suggested along with the invite.

The downside to courtesy invites...Surprisingly, someone did fly in from Hawaii to attend my daughter's wedding.

In our culture, the downside to sending our a courtesy invite is that we also follow the "If you receive an invite, you need to send a gift, albeit a less expensive one."

The only courtesy invites I sent were for FH's brother-in-laws, stepfather, and uncle who said well ahead of time they wouldn't be attending. For some reason, his family decided to make it a ladies only affair, but I wanted the men to know that they were indeed invited should they want to attend.

I wouldn't invite people just because you feel obligated - invite them because you and/or FH want to spend your day with them. Also remember that if you send an invite you need to be prepared for them to say yes!

I sent some. I agree though, if it would legitimately be a problem if they actually showed, don't invite them.