Self invited guests to the Bachelorette party ... how to deal??

Hmmm...The only thing I can think of is to NOT let anyone know (except the ones you truly want to be there), when, where and what time it is, sorry if I am no help.

I think it might be rude to exclude people that want to go - if they are actually invited to your wedding. Won't all these girls be together at your wedding? Maybe it would be a GOOD opportunity to get them comfortable with eachother. If some aren't going to the wedding, I don't think you have an obligation to invite them.

You can always have another girls night out with whoever you want.

I'm in the line of thinking (and I know a lot of people here don't feel the same way)...someone else should be throwing your bach party for you, and you shouldn't be dictating where to go, what to do, who to invite...unless you are asked.

Tell those people that your bachelorette party is exclusive to the bridal party and family and friends that have been helping you out with the wedding. And I agree with the second post. It might not be as bad as you think. And it may give people a chance to get together and meet before the wedding. You never know. And if you dont have any problems that is what your MOH is for. My MOH wont hesitate to straighten some people out or even kick them out. Of course, make sure she and your BM are cool with this first.

If you are doing something like dinner then bar hoping you could start the night with only close friends that you really want there. Go to dinner and one bar and then have everyone else that expressed interest meet you at a second bar later. It gives you time with the people you really want there with out avoiding other guests and later you can mingle more and know you already had one on one time with friends. I'm sure everyone will get along and be more comfortable with each other at the wedding after a fun night out.

I don't necessarily agree that just because these ladies are invited to the wedding that you should fell obligated to let them come the bachelorette just because they want to. The bachelorette party is for you and you should invite who you want. That said, decide who you want to have there, give the list to the person who is planning it (MOH, etc) and let that be that. Don't bring it up to or around those who are not invited. If they ask, just tell them you wanted to keep the list to a minimum and make plans to go out on the town (or whatever) with them on another night. Also, while you may have the urge to invite them all as a means of creating an opportunity for them to get along better, if your first instinct is that you'd have to play referee, chances are you would - and is your bachelorette party really the time/place for that drama?

Great advice! This gives me some new perspective and I feel better about the list I need to provide to my MOH.

Thanks!!!

It is a very difficult decision. It really should depend on what you want. If you only want certain people than you just need to explain that people. It may hurt them though you don't want to miserable at your own party. I really hope that it all works out for you.

Let me tell you from an experience i had last year. my fh best friend was getting married and since i love planning weddings(and have been planning mine for 4 years now)i helped her with everything gave her copies of things from my notebook,etc...

my fh was bestman in the wedding, well i got an invite to the bridal shower ONLY!! i was not included in any of the girls nights out or even the night before the wedding all the girls stayed at the hotel and went to the pool and hung out. the other groomsmens wives were invited to ALL the events just not me( i got stuck with the men).......

anyway, it was rude and hurtfull and now it has but a wedge between me, my fh and them...

so just be cautious at who you dont invite and who you do....

I guess a follow up statement should be that of course I am inviting my bridal party and those planning things for me. It's more of a friend of a friend thing or an acquaintance situation that are approaching me.

Woh, wait a second. If someone is invited to your wedding, and shower, getting you gifts, spending precious time and money to share this important day with you; and then you purposely exclude her from the bach party after she expressed interest? You are a snob. I'm sorry, no matter how you try to justify it. If someone is good enough for you to invite to the wedding and give you gifts, then they are good enough to go to the bach party.

I'm not saying you have to put out an invite for every person that's going to the wedding...I mean, I'm not inviting Aunt Bessy...but if someone asked me if they could go? Of course they can.

I am in total agreement that brides should plan their WEDDING DAY the way they want it...but the shower and bach parties are hardly on an equal level. Out of the goodness of their hearts people are making extra time to share with you and make you feel special. Can't you just be grateful for what you get?? I'm not directing that at you Vegas, just in general

Oh and we should all learn something from Future Mrs T's post...it happened to her and it obviously hurt her and she'll never forget it! It's just not worth it.

OACH!! That's a tough one.. but, if you are out in a club the more the merrier and you could hang out with the one's that you wanted to in the first place. Not all of them can be at your side. Some just like the idea that they can get out. Don't let them bother you once you are there some go there own way.

Have Fun and enjoy the night.

Favors 4 You.

I agree with Laure... if someone is good enough to know and help you with everything and take time to and money out of their day and wallet for you then let them go. if their friend is going then they wont be all over you... if people dont get along tell them to tuffen up and they came for you. im sure nothing will happen since they know its a party for you...

This may not help much, but maybe you should have two bachelorette parties. Its hard when you have two groups of friends that dont get along. For the record that will be your nite so they should just put whatever problems they may have with one another in a box, and leave it at the door for your sake. I Cant wait to hear how your nite goes, so just try to relax and have fun its all about you.

This is a really touchy subject especially since you may end up seeing this person on a regular basis because you have mutal friends. I'm having an intimate ceremony and reception (50 ppl) and it's hard because i have sooo many aquintances that want to attend.(I'm dealing with a similar issue)

I would try really hard not to talk about the wedding infront of people you don't plan on inviting. If it gets brought up, just tell them you're not planning anything other than the wedding details (flowers, wedding dress, etc) but that you'll mention it to the MOH.

Although I agree with some of the other comments, it may not be as bad as you think about having everyone be together. Having 2 bachelorette parties may become a burden on the bridemaids because it's not cheap to drink these days.

I just had my bachelorette party and there were ppl there that werent awefully close to me but i got to say more the merrier Its a blast and ur MOH should be planning all this I kinda feel like go with the flow.

I still stand by the idea that, when it comes down to it, it's your decision about who you want there. As long as you are including the bridal party and any one else you are close to or who has been involved in the planning/execution, I don't think you should feel guilty about not inviting a friend of a friend or a casual aquaintance especially whe you know they're only going to cause problems and drama (imagine when alcohol gets involved). It doesn't make you a "snob". Good luck!

If you don't care if people think you're a snoot, that's fine...but that is exactly how they are going to feel. I'm just trying to be honest. I'm no pushover, but I don't want people to think of me like that over something so little as one night out on the town.

I'm not trying to pick a fight here at all...but how can it be ok to invite someone to your wedding that you wouldn't even allow go to your bachelorette party? If that person is someone you don't trust or want around you at your bachelorette party...then I'm wondering how it's possible that you want them at your wedding? It doesn't make sense to me.

I subscribe to the belief that you do not have to invite every single female on your guest list to your shower or bachelorette party. I wouldn't think the bride is a snob if I thought I should be invited but wasn't - but I'd definitely reevaluate our relationship. If they're really someone you aren't close to then is it really that big of a deal? Sure there feelings might be hurt, but more from misevaluating how close you guys are. And at any rate, the bridesmaids throw the party, so the guest list should ultimately be left up to them, right?

Clearly I care what people think or I would not have posted a question on a public forum of people I had hoped to relate to. I very much care about the feelings of all my guests. I feel that in my given situation 2 parties would be a very nice compromise as long as I do not impose a financial burden on my guests. The full on situation I am dealing with are the dates of guests that, while they are lovely people, I am not that close with. I’m not getting married to collect loot; if I wanted more gifts then why I’m I worried about who I am inviting. I’m marring someone for the sole reason I love them and want those that I care about there for that moment.