Self-conscious about Length of Religious Ceremony

Have a great reception and no one will mind!

This is definitely something personal to you and a know your crowd thing. When I did wedding photography I shot wedding ceremonies that ranged from 10 minutes to 2 hours. The longer weddings were very religious based but the guests were all expecting it as they had the same faith base and it was just their tradition. Now if you plan a 2 hour religious ceremony(seriously have shot one) and 90% of your crowd hasn't been to church in 10 years then they may be quite thrown.

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Totally agree with this!

While I personally like shorter ceremonies, I've actually attended some that were so short that they're barely even memorable.

Even though I'm not having a religious ceremony, we selected an officiant that is about triple the price of an average one because of the personalization/customization that she offers. We wanted to put emphasis on the ceremony, just not in the traditional religious way since that doesn't fit either of us.

As PPs have said, you want something that feels true to yourself and your FH; the ceremony is the time to focus on the two of you. If I were a guest and knew you well, I'd imagine I'd be expecting a longer religious ceremony and would be happy to experience that moment with you!

I am also Episcopalian, and my first wedding was in the church. To be honest an Episcopal wedding isn't long compared to other faiths! I was in a Catholic one that was 45 minutes. My first wedding was under 20. I think most guests realize that a faith wedding takes a bit longer and understand that it's important to the couple. I think you should have the wedding you and your fiancee want.

I personally prefer shorter ceremonies but I am not religious. However, I don’t not go to the ceremonies that are religious. If I’m invited to a wedding, I am loved and respected by the couple and I should honor and respect their wedding day. This is your day and you do what you want to do. You won’t hear the complaints or anything, stick with what you want to do!

What your guests want matters...to an extent. They don't get to say what you will or won't do at your own celebration, especially when it's in regards to culture, tradition, and faith.
You celebrate who you are and they can deal.
Don't let that sway you!

View Quoted Comment Your remark about the wedding being a sacrament really resonated with me. You are so right. This is my and my fiancé’s way to express our religious beliefs about an event we consider to be sacred, and I am sure our family would support that! Thank you.

Thank you all so much for your in depth replies! I will try to get back to everyone who has responded as soon as I can. You have relieved a lot of the fear I had about a longer ceremony, and I really appreciate it! As long as my guests are comfortable during the ceremony and get plenty of food and drinks afterwards, my fiancé and I will make the ceremony about our religious faith. Thanks again!

It's a silly fear but I share the same silly fear with you. The reality is anyone who wants to be there for you and your SO will be there for you on your special day despite the length of the ceremony. If anyone says anything to you directly about how long the ceremony was they are being rude as heck. You have no control over the length of mass. Some things take time

The ceremony is a very important part of the day. The ceremony is YOURS, and you are the ones getting married, so it is up to you how long the ceremony is. While I understand the frustration, at the end it if your day, and you do exactly what you would like to do. Personally, I enjoy shorter ceremonies, however, I have sat through longer ones, and I did not mind! I enjoy being a part of such an important day in the lives of people I love.

Our ceremony included some religious aspects and was under 20 minutes. The last wedding we went to was a full Catholic Mass, including the presentation to the Virgin, and Communion. We went to a wedding that left religion out entirely. All of them were beautiful and meaningful - BECAUSE they reflected the couples getting married. As long as you are true to yourselves, your guests will bask in the beauty of your ceremony.

I typically prefer short and sweet when it comes to a wedding, but if your faith is something important to you then I would suggest you do what feels right for the two of you. There are aspects my FW and I are adding to our ceremony from both our religious paths because it is what WE want. Your guests are there to witness and celebrate your wedding, not just the reception.

Here's my two cents. Don't compromise your beliefs, faith and desire for a religious ceremony for anyone. They're adults. You don't have to worry about them being entertained.They can sit through an hour long ceremony. They're there to support you as you begin your marriage. The ceremony is the most important part and it should reflect you and your FH, not what you think others want. Personally I dont like the short and sweet ceremonies. Maybe because I grew up going to Catholic weddings but it feels like something is missing from the super short ones. You will never please everyone so plan the ceremony that you want, that will make you happy when you reflect on it years from now.

It's your ceremony and your religion is an important part of your life. Don't worry about the length of the ceremony. People will have to deal with it. They're adults.

Don't forget people don't have to come to the ceremony. Obviously it's implied people will do both but if sitting thru a religious ceremony makes them uncomfortable then they don't have to do it. You're not forcing anyone to do anything. So don't worry about it there's no pressure on anyone anyways.

Honestly if your friends and family know your religion is important to you they’ll understand. I personally hate long ceremonies but that’s why I had a 10-15 minute ceremony. It’s like the only part of the day you can be “selfish” with (as in others opinions don’t matter as much as yours I’m not saying you are selfish).

If religious ceremony is important to you and your groom, then DO it. Your family and friends who know you, will understand and if they complain, do not be bothered by it. This day is about you and your future husband.

Best wishes to you!

The ceremony is the most important part of the day, and this is an area you should not compromise (unless you were making people stand the whole time or something crazy). Your ceremony should represent you as a couple. We had a 30 minute religious ceremony and it was funny, sweet, and really represented who we are. Personally, I really dislike ceremonies that are really short, I feel like they're impersonal and a formality rather than the "main event."

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This. I completely agree with this, This ceremony is your wedding for the rest of your life with your partner. This is not entertainment for your guests. This is a marriage sacrament and I would never compromise because I was worried about someone feeling bored. This is what the day is all about and what it means to you. The reception is a thank you for your guests for attending your wedding. That's when they are wined and dined and entertained. The wedding is NOT about your guests. It is about your marriage. Please don't be worried about this.

We're doing full mass ceremony as well and honestly, I'm a little worried that it's going to be too long/people will get bored as well, especially since I know we have a fair amount of friends and family who aren't the most religious. But having the full mass with communion is important to FH so I haven't pressed it at all.

To help balance it we tried to pick readings that weren't really preachy or too long and we tossed in Joy to the World as the hymn of the day to liven things up since people will actually know the words.

I think it's really up to you and what is important to you! Having a catholic mass ceremony is really important to both My fiance and I. I am a little worried too, especially because several friends have gotten married this summer and none of them have been religious. I got nervous too because the timing for the church leaves a pretty big gap between the ceremony and reception. Then my friends said "oh a lot of people won't come to the ceremony anyway". I was so upset because that's the most important part of the day!

Now, I've been trying to focus on the positives. We are having the ceremony that's important to us and people really care about us will be happy to watch our wedding even if it's longer. and at least ours will be inside in AC not melting in the sun.