Self Centered Bridesmaid

She sounds horrible. I'm assuming she has some redeeming qualities, but based on what you've said so far (haven't seen your continuation yet) she sounds like a horrible bridesmaid and possibly friend.

I have a friend getting married 2 weeks after me and she's a BM in ours but I'm not in hers (small wedding party of just her sisters) and when we went BM dress shopping she did the same exact thing as you were talking about..all about HER wedding and HER this and HER that. My MOH, also my FSIL, was getting super pissed and almost told her off lol its annoying but what can ya do?

After the dress trying on, two of the girls said let's go get a drink, and she refused, dragging my fourth BM with her (they are my two college best friends), so I went with the remaining two BM's to get a drink, where they both told me how rude she was. Then, later, my mom and sister (who were with us) said the same thing, that she was obnoxious and really ruined the experience. The problem is, this is just how she is - I have known this girl my entire life and she has always been the most self centered person I know. She is aggressive and thinks the world revolves around her. Despite all this, she is a good friend and I would never want to hurt her feelings - but do you guys think I should say something to her about her behavior? I don't think she thought she was doing anything wrong, she just wanted to get a dress and be done with it without regard to the other 3 girls who needed dresses - I really don't know what to do, the more I think about it the more sad I am that the experience of BM dress shopping wasn't as fun as I thought it was going to be because she was like a bull in a dress shop...any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

If that's how she is and she doesn't even realize she does anything wrong, then how can you really say something? She'll get defensive, think that you're being ridiculous, etc.

I would definitely say something to her about how you feel. It will only bother you as time passes and I'm sure this won't be the last experience she may ruin or make it about herself.

I would vote her off the island. She ruining the whole experience for everyone, not just you.

I am currently dealing with this as well..even my parents don't want to be around her. I did make a bm guidebook and fb page for the bridal party stating general rules and being respectful was one of them. I am more worried about me dismissing her from the entire ordeal if she gets out of hand.

Kind of wonder why you are friends with her.

"The problem is, this is just how she is - I have known this girl my entire life and she has always been the most self centered person I know. She is aggressive and thinks the world revolves around her." Ok so why did you expect any different from her now? Being a bridesmaid won't change who she is as a person.

If she's your friend, have an open conversation. "I love you, but dress shopping was a little uncomfortable. I need your love and support during this time."

Oh man, that's tough. I agree with VM though, if you say something she'll probably get defensive with you, however if you don't, you run the risk of her ruining other experiences too. You need to decide if you can tolerate this continuing.

Lol @Jahtoya you made a fb page with a list of rules for your "friends?" I'd be "dismissing" myself from your wedding if I was one of your friends.

So I am assuming this is your best friend, otherwise why would you chose her? This is the first time shes acted self centered? I doubt it, why did you expect anything different this time? because its your special day, honestly no one really cares as much about your wedding as you do. She might be clueless and not even think she is doing anything wrong.

ETA; Jahtoya: Doing that was a clearly rude and tacky move. These are supposed to be your family and friends and you are treating them like children. Jesus.

I would talk to her about it. The longer this goes on, the worse it will be for everyone involved. Maybe tell her, in the nicest way possible, that her behavior was rude, and the day was supposed to be about your wedding, not hers. She had her day, now, it's over.

I think that's the kind of thing you need to say to her while the behavior is happening. Don't let someone wrangle you into doing that--I'd say "Yeah that's great, but I want to wander around with the other girls too. Byyyeee!" Then you drop the dress on the floor of the dressing room and run.

I'm facing a similar yet slightly different situation with one of my BM, my oldest sister. She is very unhappy with her life right now, but will not open up and talk about it to anyone as she is a very private person. Instead of opening up, she just gets negative and sometimes can be very acidic and hurtful. I'm not sure at this point if she even knows she is acting this way, or if has become her normal. When we try to talk to her about it, she pushes us away for long periods at a time. We ultimately had to decide to put up with her negativity, or cut her out of our lives as she is not going to change. We are not willing to lose her, so we will continue to love her and be here for her if she is ever ready to talk.

I'm not sure how effective this will be, given this is just her personality, but I'd mention that you were disappointed the other day while shopping and make a deal with her. Tell her that at any pre-wedding events for her wedding, you will be focused on her and her wedding, and you would appreciate it if she could do the same for you going forward. She may be more open to the idea of focusing on you sometimes if she realizes she'll get something out of it, too.

I wouldn't have her in my BP personally. Your wedding day is about you and I'm not sure with her that you will be able to really enjoy your day because it will be all about her. Have a talk with her and see if things change, if not I don't see your dream wedding being very happy.

@Jahtoya Wait why would you make an FB page with rules for your bridal party? If they're not adult enough to act like adults (even if self centered) then I would think they aren't old enough to participate?

Okay, a little clarity - my relationship with this girl is a little complicated. We grew up together, went to the same tiny high school (our graduating class was 57 kids), went to the same college, and joined the same sorority. However, we weren't really friends until we initiated our sorority - we were friendly growing up but had our own groups of friends. Within our sorority, there was a group of 5 of us (myself and this girl included, another girl who is also my BM and was her MOH, and two other girls) who were best friends for 4 years and now that we've graduated, the three of us have stayed very close. She asked me to be her bridesmaid, so I felt obligated to ask her to be one of mine ... I know, I shouldn't have asked someone just because they asked me, but she is a close friend of mine so I would have asked her anyway but being in her BP sort of ensured that she would be in mine. In the year leading up to her wedding, I spent a lot of time making sure she felt like "THE Bride" and making her feel special - I got engaged three weeks before her wedding, and when I got engaged I told her that it was still her time and I was excited to celebrate her wedding and then afterwards we could celebrate my engagement. So, I guess, I was just hoping for some reciprocal behavior from her - that she would want to focus on me and my wedding instead of continuing to make it all about herself. I guess I should have known better, but I'm definitely the eternal optimist so that's on me.

I guess I just wanted to vent about her, she's definitely the person who I love but she makes me totally crazy.

I have a bridesmaid who eloped with her bf of 6 months bc she was pregnant and at my engagement party and times I get my bridesmaids together she is in the corner looking at pics of her wedding an trying to tell everyone about it. It's only bc she's jealous I'm having a big wedding and she had to elope. Maybe it's a similar situation maybe ur BM is jealous of something