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Just Said Yes May 2019

Seeking Advice: I don't want an engagement ring, but my boyfriend insists...

Justine, on August 18, 2016 at 11:46 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 45

Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I haven't been seeing eye to eye on the concept of an engagement ring. I feel that they aren't worth the money, mining isn't good for the environment, and the tradition is overall pretty archaic. I don't typically wear jewelry, so something sparkly and shiny really...

Hi everyone,

My boyfriend and I haven't been seeing eye to eye on the concept of an engagement ring.

I feel that they aren't worth the money, mining isn't good for the environment, and the tradition is overall pretty archaic. I don't typically wear jewelry, so something sparkly and shiny really doesn't do much for me.

On the flip side, my boyfriend said that it just won't feel right. I've suggested he propose with something else maybe? He also said that it is symbolic of a milestone. Personally I felt that the proposal should be more focused on why he wants to marry me, not the size of the ring that he buys.

We are currently at a stand still on the issue. The only way I would cave is if he gave me a reason as to why I needed a ring in the first place (I do want a wedding band, just not an engagement ring).

I figured I could ask some other people what they thought?

45 Comments

  • JadedRaven
    VIP September 2016
    JadedRaven ·
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    I know Brilliant Earth does nothing but conflict-free gems, and lab created gems. And they have a lot of non-traditional looking e-rings that would work well as your wedding ring too. Or that would stack with another band well. I'd check them out. It's where mine came from (an orange sapphire stone).

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  • annakay511
    Master July 2015
    annakay511 ·
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    Maybe you could compromise with a different type of stone you feel is more ethical from the traditional diamond?

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    You could do a used ring, a different stone ring, a moissanite or cz ring....lots of possibiities.

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  • marryingmyknight
    Super April 2017
    marryingmyknight ·
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    My sister did a plain band when they got engaged. Worked for them!

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  • NotThatFreakinMary
    VIP November 2016
    NotThatFreakinMary ·
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    Estate sales have all sorts of gorgeous rings too. I love the vintage rings. Maybe something like that would be nice /)

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