Second Wedding for Youngish Bride

Sidenote: This post was brought on by a good friend of mine exclaiming, "But you're not allowed to wear a veil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" when I responded to her question about how wedding dress shopping was going. I guess I had assumed that it's 2016 and as long as you're not doing something obviously gauche (wearing dress from first wedding, inviting ex-in-laws), then second-time brides didn't need to feel ashamed of themselves and curtail their celebrations due to said shame.

Have the wedding you want and that your checkbook can cover. Hosts your guests with food and drink.

Same as for any wedding--enjoy!

eta: Tell your friend she is not the boss of you

I don't think there's any different etiquette then the first time!

Yup, agreed. You do you, girl. Congrats!

I just had my second marriage and I am 32. Have the wedding you both want. There were some things we left out of our wedding but not because it was my second marriage.

Yeah, don't listen to your friend. Of course you can wear a veil if you want to wear one. I did. I even invited my ex-in-laws, and they happily came.

You decide how you want your wedding to be. As long as you can afford it and you're considerate of your guests, don't worry about implications of being a second time bride.

No, as long as you wear the Cone of Shame during the ceremony you're fine. I can also give you the number of the people I hired to shout "Unclean!" at me as I walk up the aisle.

Don't listen to your friend. You just had a practice husband, now you get to do it for real.

Laura, I hope I didn't offend! If you and your in-laws are close, that's awesome! I was being self-focused, and thinking of my own situation where my ex-inlaws tried to blame me for making my ex-husband cheat (?????????)

Thank you ladies, both for being so welcoming and open-minded, and for all of the responses already!

@AMW, lol, maybe something a la Cersei Lannister's walk of atonement?

Quotes from real people:

"At your age why don't you just have a brunch and call it a day?"

"YOU can't wear white, can you?"

"Don't bother with a church wedding. My first wedding was in a church and look how that turned out."

The lesson here is that people suck. Oh yeah, and what Tina said.

Congrats on your upcoming wedding! I read up on second wedding etiquette and it seems that now-a-days, most anything goes. I did read on several sites that a veil is a no-no as well as a super long train. I say screw it. It you want a veil, wear a veil! I'm not, just because I prefer the way my ensemble looks without one but if I wanted to wear one, I sure as heck would!

Have the wedding that you want. This will be my second marriage as well but actually my first wedding, we didn't have a wedding the first time. My FMIL also told me I couldn't wear a veil because having my daughter in the wedding made it clear I wasn't a virgin. This is an outdated idea. I will be proudly wearing my veil and proudly having my daughter in the wedding. Don't let peoples outdated ideas and traditions dictate the beautiful wedding you want.

Don't be ashamed of being a second bride.

Exactly...don't forget to cut all your hair off too!

It killed me; Lena Headey has such gorgeous hair. It's probably fake but...I mourned her pretty hair.

ETA: I'm wearing ivory and a veil also.

I'm having my second wedding this Saturday, it's my FH's first. (only LOL). I'll be wearing a veil.

My bridesmaids also threw me a shower (and kept telling me to register for more gifts!!) and a bachelorette party. My dad will escort me down the aisle. This is your first wedding to your FH and it's no less of a celebration than your first one was. You get to do it how you want to. In fact, I have had so much fun planning my wedding because there was nothing that I "have to do" and nobody that I "have to invite."

Congratulations and Happy Planning!!

This thread is confirming my fears that no matter what, people are judgy :/

@AMW- I was planning on cutting off all my hair and donating it right after the wedding, so maybe that will suffice for people?

It's your wedding day and should be celebrated how you want and if you want a veil have one and I would stop listening to unsupportive friends opinions

There are no rules of etiquette that relate specifically to second marriages. Treat your guests well, and have a great wedding. You'll get weird rude comments and "advice" no matter what. Practice a response like, "thanks for your opinion, but we've got this handled".

Sarah - do you girl. Seriously wear whatever you want.

PS I am not wearing a veil because I cant stand it touching me...... I hope someone says something about it I am the QUEEN of the eye roll/walk away.

I'm in the same boat. First marriage (city hall) at 22, no kids, ex got arrested for domestic violence towards me. Didn't feel like getting beaten and being told he would kill me for the rest of my life, so I divorced him.

I'll be 28 when I get married for the 2nd time, 1st for fh. We're just throwing a regular wedding as if my first one never happened. Granted, I didn't have a big or fancy wedding the first time, so that's why we're going all out for this one. We're paying for it ourselves, so do whatever you and fh agree on. I'm not registering or having showers because I already bought what I needed when I lived on my own.

ETA, I'm wearing the veil from my first wedding because it's pretty and matches my new dress. It's a piece of fabric - it's not haunted!