Second (or more) - Time Brides...what's changed?

First time around: 23 and pregnant. Dress was this terrible army green maternity dress from Motherhood. We went with our parents to the officiants house and got married. Then my dad took us all out to dinner. We did have a nice honeymoon in Jamaica that his parents gifted us.

This time around: I'm 36, not pregnant lol. We are having a small wedding in our best friends backyard. We will have a tent, and dance floor, about 40 of our nearest and dearest. We do have a bridal party, we'll be doing a first look, I have my pretty white dress (with veil!). BBQ and donuts for food.

I'm actually excited this time! All I wanted was a few close friends and a beautiful dress (oh and good music) I'm going to have all of that so I couldn't be happier. This is definitely a more traditional wedding, but it's still very us.

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It sounds wonderful!

We're also both getting married the second time and I did it totally traditional the first time and he had a backyard as cheap as can be. We both felt pressured to do what others wanted the first time and this is all about us.

So no church, I'll wear black and he's going to be in white, fancy but small event with just close friend and immediate family (mine is going to freak over this) so that we can have the food and drink we want. Gorgeous venue with dancing. I want flowers for decor but probably not a bouquet. It's a totally different experience

First wedding I was 21. It was a small wedding at the court house and then a small venue for the reception with about 40 people. Second time around I’ll be 31 almost 32 and I’m planning a bigger wedding with 160 people. I’m very excited for a bigger wedding. That’s what I wanted the first time, but my ex wanted something small since his mom has just passed away.

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That sounds very much like us. His exwife was 8 months pregnant when they had a backyard wedding. I'm with you. We're doing this how we want to and if people aren't comfortable with it, they don't need to come.

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Sounds great! Hope you have the wedding of your dreams!

Mine is a little opposite lol. First marriage 19. We had a back yard BBQ with about 25 people. I didn't have a wedding dress nor a wedding party. the whole thing ran my folks about 800 dollars.I was divorced by the age of 21

I am now 36 and getting married in September. We are having a lake side ceremony (120 people). I have a real dress (of my dreams). We are having our reception at a nearby hotel. It is running us around 15k. I am so elated that I didn't have any of the firsts I will now share with my FH. We are having our kids in the wedding party (he has 3 girls and I have 3 boys).

Hope your wedding is amazing!

I wasn’t a 2nd time bride but had I been married in my 20’s I would have had a big traditional Christian wedding (boyfriend’s family was very religious), controlled by both families’ wishes more than mine (but I would have loved a big wedding & ballgown though).

Fast forward... in my 40’s my hubby & both wanted a small non-denominational wedding and fun theme! We did a Pirates of the Caribbean DW in a wine cave in Napa for 15 guests, and a 50’s/60’s “Rat Pack” local reception where 50 guests dressed up and enjoyed drinks, dinner & dancing at a vineyard. Loved it. So us. Worth the wait to meet my match. 💕

May all second-time brides, and older brides, create the wedding that suits them best!

View Quoted Comment Aw! Like The Brady Bunch!!! Except you have the boys, he has the girls. 😃

My first time I was 21 and he was 19 and we rushed into it. I was his first real girlfriend and I think a way to move out of a toxic home. We had a small wedding and my childhood church, I wore a borrowed dress, he wore a suit, MOH wore a dress she already had, best man wore a sport coat he had. Reception was a pot luck at the park. My bouquet was from a craft store...you get the idea. I was happy to marry the guy at the time so that stuff didn't matter. We couldn't even afford wedding rings. He cheated on me and got the other "woman" pregnant and we divorced. I"m about to turn 50 and marrying a guy I dated back when I was 15. He's also divorced and we're older and wiser. We're having a slightly bigger wedding than he or I had, but nothing crazy. We're having it at the community center we met at back in 1985. It's an affordable but sentimental choice for us both. We're having around 75 people or so. It's nothing fancy, but we aren't fancy people. I am very frugal, I love my dress, and I got it on final sale for under 300 and I still had a hard time spending that

First time I was barely 22. Had the big ball gown and flowers and everything. Sit down dinner, bouquet and garter toss, long veil, big, elaborate cake, etc. My father is a retired fire fighter and my mom worked at the hospital so we ended up inviting over 200 people.

This time I'm 34 and have a very different idea. It's my FH's first so we are doing some things for him but I just got a lace sheeth dress with no veil, mostly fake flowers, homemade cupcakes, and so on. We invited about 120 people this time and that's mostly because of my FH.

View Quoted Comment Oh Laura, I’m so glad we’re friends on here. Adam and I dated in our teenage years too.

View Quoted Comment I hope yours is amazing, as well

View Quoted Comment That sound like so much fun!

View Quoted Comment It’s sweet that you’re still doing some more traditional stuff for him.

First time around I was 23 and we planned the whole thing in 3 weeks, my mom catered it, and we got married in their backyard. I think the total cost was $1500.

Now I'm 32...we've been planning for 6 months lol. Our budget is 10k. I am doing everything I didn't do the first time (dress fitting, cake tasting, looking at venues). His philosophy (he's been married twice before) is that this is our last time doing this, let's do it exactly what we want and how we want it.

Agreed. Do it how you want to!

Just out of curiosity, what caused the ending of your first relationship? The trend I see is that people were young but is there more than that?

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Monique, I can't speak for everyone, but for Jason and me, it was exactly that. My exhusband is not a bad guy. He wasn't abusive. We didn't fight. We were financially stable. We just grew up during our marriage and instead of growing together, grew more and more apart. I begged him 4 years before our divorce to try counseling...SOMETHING to try to salvage a relationship I had been in since I was 17. We started dating when I was 17. Got engaged at 20 and married at 22. He refused. In Jason's mind, there was nothing wrong with our relationship or our marriage. He was very conservative. I am very not. I was bored. He was just going through the motions. Jason was very concerned with what things appeared to be and what people expected of him. I wasn't happy and after we divorced (I was 33), he figured out he wasn't really happy either. He got remarried 2 years ago and from the outside, I can't say that he's any happier. I, on the other hand, found a much better fit. I know who I am now.

First wedding I was 18 (yikes). We eloped, went to Lake Tahoe and got married overlooking Emerald Bay. It was literally just us and no one else. I felt pressured into it by him. I wore a little sundress. I regretted it pretty badly, especially not having "bridal" pictures. So for our 7th wedding anniversary he wanted to do a vow renewal. I had a big dress but we went to a chapel in Vegas and it was all cheesy and stuff. We then had dinner at Paris Paris. That was the night I figured out our marriage wasn't going to work. We had gotten a babysitter for the kids so when we got back to our suite at around 1 am instead of continuing our evening with the kiddos asleep and in a different room, he decided to wake them up. He was always prioritizing something over our relationship. We didn't end up divorcing until several years after that but that particular incident always stands out in my mind.

This time around I'll be 33. I'm trying to avoid cheesy. Small ceremony but with our family and friends in the church I grew up in. Haven't decided on a dress or really anything other than the venue and that we want to just have a little celebration of our love. I don't want anything that will remind me of those other days with that other person. I want something more traditional but not traditional. More traditional in the way a 1950s small ceremony that focused on family values is traditional and I don't know any other way to put that lol.