second marriage- surprise wedding

I've heard of surprise weddings during housewarmings, but never in place of a birthday. Sounds interesting

Just so you know people might not place as much importance on a birthday party as a wedding so you might be missing VIP's you would want there. Most people on here will tell you a surprise wedding is a bad idea.

It seems like a sweet idea, and while April and Andy pulled it off (parks and recreation) a surprise wedding runs the risk of people not placing as much importance on attending. You might end up without some of your most valued friends or family in attendance. Sometimes things come up that end up changing your plans and that weddings tend to be something people prioritize so they don't miss it, but birthday parties fall further down on that list. I would also worry about timing and late comers to the party. Just consider all of the factors. I'm sure your wedding will be great either way.

Please don't do this. My FH's mom was invited to a family member's brunch which was actually a surprise wedding. She stayed home because she didn't feel up to going. Now she has terrible guilt about missing it. Be upfront with your guests.

Do.

not.

do.

this.

Lots of people will be very upset about missing it because they didn't know it was actually a wedding.

Agreed with the others- please don't do this.

People don't consider a surprise housewarming party to be in the same category as a wedding. Even though you think your guests will all be there, they won't. March is far off and people will be changing there plans over the coming months without thinking twice about missing a surprise birthday party for other plans.

If you do it, prepare to have a lot of people missing from the event. As others said, a birthday is less important to most than a wedding.

I agree with the others, unless you are the very rare case where you get together with your family and friends all the time and it's pretty normal for everyone to be there. For example my MIL gets together with her friends a lot for things from New Years Eve to just wanting an excuse to cook good food. It's a small and close group of friends and rarely does someone not come to their get-togethers. So for a 50th birthday that's a pretty big milestone birthday so I'm guessing a lot of your friends would try to make it a priority especially if you're inviting just a small close-knit group. And if that's really the kind of group you have then they'd probably really make an effort to come to a birthday party too. But if you're wanting 100 people with friends that you only see once or twice a year then you won't get that.

I remember my dad's surprise 40th birthday and a lot of people showed up, big birthdays like that are important. So in this case it may have the chance of working out, but this is really a case of knowing your guests and knowing that every VIP will be able to make it. And if not, then I totally 100% agree with the others in that you shouldn't do it.

I'm not a huge fan of surprise weddings but people usually take formal 50th birthday parties pretty seriously. That's a little different from a housewarming or random brunch. When we had my dad's we sent out formal invites, had RSVPs, the whole deal. Still don't like surprise weddings but I think it might work better if you're already having a serious, formal event.

I think your intentions are very sweet but the other girls have made valid points that just can't be ignored. I'm sure reading all of this must be disappointing but I agree that this could wind up being a very bad idea.

I'm not a fan of surprise weddings, but if you do the birthday party planning right most people should end up attending. Like Jeanne said if it is a formal event people will likely prioritize it higher. We did a big 80th birthday for my dad and it was like planning a wedding. We rented a room in a hotel, full meal, people had to RSVP, etc. We knew exactly who was coming and weren't missing any VIPs. So I would recommend making the birthday formal in terms of invitations to ensure people are there. You still might have a few people decline who might otherwise want to be there for the wedding though.

I know I differ from a lot of folks on here on this subject, but I love the idea of a surprise wedding. ONLY IF all the VIPs are there. I've never been to one, but I would love it if I was at a "birthday party" that really turned into a wedding. On the other hand, I would be super upset if I thought something was no biggie and didn't go, and it turned out I missed a wedding. Could you let your VIPs know ahead of time to ensure they'll be there?

I love the idea of a surprise wedding, especially if you are easy going (it seems you are) about the details and how it will play out. If it were me, I would last minute "make sure" my VIPs were coming, maybe tell them we have a special announcement they CAN'T miss or something to give them that extra push to come. I wish someone I know would have one!! I understand everyone's points, but if you want to do it, I say good luck!!!

Also, I love that version of that song!! So sweet and romantic.

Yes. We have close nit family and friends. We are from small town Parties are yah. Let's go! It is a rsvp event so the list will be checked the week before as long as our parents and our kids are there that's all that matters. As we talked about just getting married at hm or Vegas. All the extras are just a bonus for a good party at the end of winter I do appreciate the comments and worries I think I will have a insider just making sure the parents are there before we get there then we will be good to go ??

This sounds SO AWESOME. Ditto what Holly says about the VIPs to make sure they are there.

1. Literally everyone has heard that song. 2. this is a bad idea.

ETA: who are these private users posting in a row

I actually like it! A 50th birthday is a big deal so your immediate family should be there. Plus if the alternative would be getting married in Vegas, the VIP list is probably short. It is a very popular song, but if that what makes you feel special than do it!!

Although I like it, my God Mother and Aunt just had her 50th birthday party. One of her kids ended up cancelling day of, and me and my husband didn't go since he had to work on a Saturday. Would we have taken off for a wedding? 100%, but it wasn't worth missing work. Everyone, including one of her sons, would have also RSVPd yes, and probably just sent a text the day-of since it was just a birthday party.

Are you fine if one of your kids, sisters, etc.. ends up bailing day-of? If so, go for it!!

I didn't read all the comments but I wanted to say we did a sort of surprise wedding. Sort of, we decided we were going to do it and sent out invites w/in 30 days.

It was simple, fun and not all the mess of planning, but let people know in advance too.

Congrats and good luck

Thanks I think it will work and will be lots of fun. I might just tell the VIP the day before so they are not wearing sweat pants... lol