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Expert October 2018

Save the dates then not invited?

Emily, on September 14, 2016 at 7:03 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 42

So im new to wedding planning. Only one I've ever helped with was my older sister. So the question is, is it rude to send someone a Save the Date then NOT invite them to your wedding? This just happened to me and I feel a little put off. I'm really happy for the couple and plan on sending them a...

So im new to wedding planning. Only one I've ever helped with was my older sister. So the question is, is it rude to send someone a Save the Date then NOT invite them to your wedding? This just happened to me and I feel a little put off. I'm really happy for the couple and plan on sending them a gift. The couple, friends of both me and my fiance, sent us Save the Dates in March. They asked for our address and I immediately gave it to them. But their wedding is next week and no invite. Im not trying to be petty, I just want to know if that's normal? If so I DID NOT buy enough save the dates. I was under the impression those were only sent to those who were invited to the wedding.

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42 Comments

  • Kimi
    Master August 2016
    Kimi ·
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    I was going to say reach out to them. I had an invited couple get their STD, but not their invitation. She did message me and ask. I'm so glad she did (I would have called when I hadn't heard from her.) But since you did reach out and were ignored, they are the ones in the wrong. I would be that petty person that returned the gift. But then again, I'm that petty person that is still salty about the people who attended and didn't even give a congratulatory card (more than just a few people).

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  • C
    Just Said Yes October 2019
    Chezere ·
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    A lot of people are saying that this is rude which I agree but I am a bride myself right now and was thinking about doing just this even though is isn’t “proper etiquette” but I gave one of my ex co workers a save the date but we had only hung out once after she left the job and we don’t talk at all and I have people in my life that I need to invite. Yes I shouldn’t have given her a save the date in the first place but I did not realize I had other people who needed to be invited.
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