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Natalia
Expert October 2020

Save the Date across the sea?

Natalia, on June 20, 2019 at 2:59 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6
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Hello everyone,

This one has been in my head since I got engaged.

My FHs family is basically all here. I am originally from Poland, born and raised but have lived in America for 16 years. I have my parents here and an uncle with his kids, the rest of my family is in Poland, Greece, Ireland and Sweden.

As Polish citizens need a VISA to come to America for even one day, I expect 100% of my family not to attend. No grandmothers, no aunts or uncles.

My question is, should I still send them a Save the Date? Or should I just spend the money for an invitation to at least show that I'd like them there? I'm very confused on what to do, since I know no one will bother get a VISA and come overseas, especially when the airplane flight is 9 hours.

6 Comments

  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    I would still send the save the dates just because if they do decide to come, the VISA process can take awhile. I have an aunt who lives in the Ukraine, and she is actually coming for the wedding. She is coming for a month and visiting with multiple relatives. Sometimes a wedding can be a good excuse to finally make a trip if a relative has been thinking about wanting to see people.
    • Reply
  • Catherine
    Beginner September 2019
    Catherine ·
    • Flag

    Witaj Smiley smile
    I'm in a similar boat! Born and raised here, but my parents are from Poland (with the rest of my family there). My fiance's family is mostly here but there is a good amount in Greece as well.
    We didn't send save the dates overseas (we talk to many cousins/family frequently so they knew our wedding date regardless, and anyone who was serious about it then talked to us!) If you talk similarly/frequently and have a close relationship too I think its fine to let them know over the phone/online - we had a few family members come here before and they are coming again! You never know who might surprise you Smiley smile

    We are sending invitations as a courtesy (we've always received them from abroad as well) and will be adding a personal note saying we know they probably will not make it but we'll be thinking of them or celebrate with them some day in the future. End of day, it really depends how close you still are and such.

    Good luck!

    • Reply
  • A
    Expert August 2019
    Ami ·
    • Flag
    I sent save the dates to our family oversees just so they feel included. They still wanted invites too, just to keep.
    • Reply
  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
    • Flag

    The people who knew they couldn't attend my wedding still wanted a save the date and an invite.

    • Reply
  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    I think it's good to send them incase. Some of your family might just enjoy being thought of.
    • Reply
  • MrsJohansson
    Expert June 2019
    MrsJohansson ·
    • Flag
    I think it would be nice for you to send it anyway. Many people love a little token, especially if they are unable to go. Lets them know too that you were thinking of them and that you wanted them there. And who knows, maybe they may surprise you.. but they gotta know first!

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