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basicallybex
Devoted October 2017

Same-sex Wedding

basicallybex, on February 16, 2016 at 10:26 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 30

My fiance and I are both women and are trying to configure things that work for us, without breaking too many of the traditional "wedding activities" I was wondering if any of you ladies, have been to or have had a same sex wedding and what advice you may have. Thanks in advance and Happy Tuesday!! ...

My fiance and I are both women and are trying to configure things that work for us, without breaking too many of the traditional "wedding activities" I was wondering if any of you ladies, have been to or have had a same sex wedding and what advice you may have. Thanks in advance and Happy Tuesday!!

30 Comments

  • CrystalQueenB
    Master August 2016
    CrystalQueenB ·
    • Flag

    Welcome & congrats!

    I love Downton Abbey!!!! Richard is going to have one of the best BAM's ever!

    • Reply
  • Sqwiggy
    VIP April 2016
    Sqwiggy ·
    • Flag

    You had me at Matthew Crawley

    • Reply
  • Overkat
    VIP September 2016
    Overkat ·
    • Flag

    Richard, please stay. I can not wait to see your BAM!

    • Reply
  • FinallyCastro
    Expert February 2017
    FinallyCastro ·
    • Flag

    I love the stuff animal toss! Omg!

    • Reply
  • Kelsey
    VIP December 2016
    Kelsey ·
    • Flag

    My brother officiated a same-sex wedding last summer. The whole thing "felt" pretty traditional- One bride walked down the aisle with her two brothers while the other waited at the alter. One wore a gown, the other wore a tux. They had a first dance and parent dances (one danced with her mother, the other danced with both of her parents. It was kind of adorable). They had a cake cutting and a cake smash, and tosses (I caught the bouquet!) Their first look pictures are some of my favorite first look pictures ever.

    Like Celia said, there really were no expectations. We are not having some traditions (no cake so no cake cutting, no flowers). I feel like these days, every wedding is so different and unique to the couple. Your wedding should reflect you and your FW, not what you think others are expecting!

    • Reply
  • lyvluv
    Devoted June 2016
    lyvluv ·
    • Flag

    Hi and congrats. Funny thing, our own wedding will be the first same sex wedding my fiancé and I will have attended. Do what you want and leave out what you don't want. That's what we're doing and it's so much fun creating your own big party.

    • Reply
  • Almost a Mrs.
    VIP December 2016
    Almost a Mrs. ·
    • Flag

    @Lyvluv, FW and I are in the same boat. It'll actually be the first wedding I've attended in almost a decade. I think that's helped a lot because I don't feel the pressure of doing what's "expected" because I've only heard about traditions versus seeing them time and time again.

    • Reply
  • Fiona
    Master December 2015
    Fiona ·
    • Flag

    Yeah, I'm sticking around at least until I see Richard's BAM. :-) Also, my DH's name is Richard (I call him Ricky), so you have an awesome name!

    • Reply
  • JadedRaven
    VIP September 2016
    JadedRaven ·
    • Flag

    I think the only thing people expect is to show up, see the two of you married at the end of a ceremony and then party with food and drinks! If you cover those things, they'll be happy. Opposite-sex weddings have the same basic requirements. Do whatever traditions you want and look forward to when you think of your wedding day, and skip the ones that make you cringe.

    Happy planning, and welcome to WW

    • Reply
  • Alanna
    Savvy October 2016
    Alanna ·
    • Flag

    Congrats to you and your FW! I agree with what's been said. One thing that took us a while to figure out was our processional, the order, and who would stand where. We decided to mix things up a little bit. My mom is being escorted and seated first on the traditional 'bride' side, followed by FMIL seated on the 'groom' side. FW is being escorted by FFIL and will stand on the traditional bride side (her parents can see her throughout the ceremony this way) and I will be escorted last by my dad and will stand on the 'groom' side with my parents on the opposite side so they can see me. Part of this was so people couldn't speculate who played what traditional gender role because, surprise, we don't have traditional gender roles as we are a same sex couple who identify as the same gender. Good luck planning!

    • Reply

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