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Mandy
VIP May 2019

rsvp - yep, another complaint

Mandy, on April 16, 2019 at 11:22 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 51
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I know there are a ton. This is my current feeling perfectly though. Due date was yesterday. I've heard from about 1/3 of the guests. I'm giving it to the end of the week to get any that were mailed "late". Then Monday, I'm starting down the list. I'm a bit saddened by some of the declines because I considered them good family friends, all of the family declined (mom, kids, grandma, etc). Oh well, they don't think highly enough of me to come so I'm glad they declined. Since I put postage, I think I'm going to word it like "Hey, I just wanted to make sure you received the invite for our upcoming wedding. The RSVP date has passed so please put your pre-stamped envelope/RSVP in the mail this week so we can get a correct count for our vendors." Crappy? Perhaps..but so is not responding to an invite. I'm like 30 days out at this point and just need to know how many are coming. Only two of the like 30 have RSVPed for my bridal shower this weekend. Sigh.

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51 Comments

  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
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    People suck, lol. Sorry you are having to deal with that.

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  • Fmv
    Super October 2020
    Fmv ·
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    People stink! You couldnt have made it any easier for them lol
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  • Future Mrs. K
    VIP June 2019
    Future Mrs. K ·
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    I sent out invites a few weeks ago and I'm already feeling like this. I've only gotten back about 15-20 people (most being couples so literally like less than 10 actual RSVPs) and haven't gotten any now in over a week. I totally get how you feel and am dreading when I am in your shoes a month out and have to track all these people down that can't even put a pre-stamped envelope in their mail box. SO frustrating, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. People are seriously so annoying. I already got a Facebook message from a family friend this past weekend saying he was "too lazy to send back the RSVP, want steak, can I bring a date?"

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  • Mandy
    VIP May 2019
    Mandy ·
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    That's why I went out and spent the money for stamps... so they wouldn't have an excuse of "oh, I need to go get a stamp". We're not doing a wedding website, so they need to mail it back in. Ugh. I thought I'd make it easy as possible.. but apparently not. I'm at the point of I don't care if they come or not, I just need to know because we have others we've thought about inviting (they won't care..at all.. that it's a delayed invite)

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  • Alyssa
    Super September 2019
    Alyssa ·
    • Flag

    People are the worst sometimes lol I'm sorry Smiley sad I really like how you worded your message to those who have not responded though! People have NO idea the cost of postage unless they have done an event of some sort.

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  • FutureMrsKC
    Master January 2019
    FutureMrsKC ·
    • Flag

    Such as life, I went through the same!

    I had no remorse for being rude to people. It probably sounds bad, but if I am throwing an expensive party and I think you are important enough to me to be invited where I have to pay a pretty penny for you to attend you should give me the same respect to at least respond on time after having weeks to decide. A conversation with my cousin went as follows:

    Me: "Hey! The RSVP date for our wedding has passed and we never received yours in the mail. Will you be able to make it?" (This was 30 days out from the wedding.)

    Cousin: "Hi! We aren't sure yet, we don't know what our finances will look like after Christmas."

    (So me, annoyed, because you had over 10 months of knowing my date to financially plan.)

    Me: "Ok, we need to get the final numbers to the vendors ASAP to make sure everything is set in place. If I don't hear from you by x date, I will have to consider you a decline."

    Never heard back from cousin until after wedding.

    We spend money on save the dates, I sent you a pre-stamped RSVP card and you still cannot respond? I know what my finances look like monthly. I know what my vacation time looks like. Instead of holding off for a "maybe" just RSVP yes or no based on your every day life!

    Jeesh.

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  • Mandy
    VIP May 2019
    Mandy ·
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    I got about 4 the first week. Then they have trickled in slowly. I think last week I got about 10 total, but still a long way to go from all that were invited. Yeah, I've had a few who said they are too lazy to drop it in the mail. I nicely told them there's postage and a mailbox right outside their house or at where they work. Postage was only about $65 but still, that's wasting my money and I love checking the mail for new ones!

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  • Mandy
    VIP May 2019
    Mandy ·
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    Yes! It was about $65 just in postage - not including the invite, RSVP, the envelopes for both or the return address labels. Every penny adds up in a wedding!

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  • Jessica
    Super May 2019
    Jessica ·
    • Flag

    People. Suck. My date just passed last Friday. Luckily with a smaller guest list comes a smaller call list. But people, it's not hard. They're pre-addressed AND STAMPED. Literally put it in the mailbox any of the dozens of times you went to check your mail in the time allotted. Ugh. My MOH had to chase down Bridal Shower responses too. And they just needed to be texted in. I just don't get it.

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  • Mandy
    VIP May 2019
    Mandy ·
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    Yes! Yes! I sent you all of this with plenty of time to prepare to save a little. If it's still iffy on you having the money at the due date, just decline so at least I know. My venue is about an hour and a half from a lot of my guests (hometown guests) so not terribly far of a drive. I don't know if they just don't think they should, if they don't want to decline and let me down, if they just forgot, etc.. Just do it immediately when you get it and be done.

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  • Mandy
    VIP May 2019
    Mandy ·
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    Yes! Exactly! They had to write their name, mark they were attending and how many were coming. Put it in the pre-addressed, pre-stamped envelope and be done!

    I'm not even messing with the bridal shower track down. We're planning for about 3/4 of the invited to come. There should be plenty of snacks/drinks, and if not, they should have RSVPed so they can have water. I'm at that point - it's a simple text or just let ME know you're coming and I'll pass it on.

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  • Future Mrs. K
    VIP June 2019
    Future Mrs. K ·
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    Exactly I feel the same way about the wasted money on postage! So irritating!

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  • C
    Super July 2019
    Crystal ·
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    We will have to do the same thing. Invited 85 have only head from 30. Were going to call that week and say hey I think your RSVP got lost in the mail and we were wondering if you're attending
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  • Mandy
    VIP May 2019
    Mandy ·
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    I invited about the same. I think I've heard back from 25-30 people so there's still a lot. I'm giving them until Monday in case they mail it this week before I start being a little less sweet by messaging them telling them I need to know.

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  • Kiana
    Dedicated June 2019
    Kiana ·
    • Flag
    I have found that 90% of my RSVP’d guests have done so through our website. I have only received 1 mail in rsvp. Did you have a website? You may want to add a website and send the link for them to do when you remind them?
    • Reply
  • Keiwana
    Devoted June 2019
    Keiwana ·
    • Flag
    Sorry you’re going through that.

    I was complaining that I hadn’t received a no yet.

    I sent them out last week & I’m waiting to hear back from 28 people. I sent out reminder texts this morning with a link to the wedding website. I don’t have time for peoples nonsense.
    • Reply
  • Jessica
    VIP October 2019
    Jessica ·
    • Flag

    Oh girl.. that is SO frustrating. I think what you were thinking of saying is perfect. Some people just don't think about others.. so inconsiderate.

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  • Mandy
    VIP May 2019
    Mandy ·
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    No, I've never gone to a website as a guest so I didn't want to waste my time creating one. Most of our guests are older so they weren't raised in the generation of everything is done online. That's why I put postage and a return address - it's about as simple as it comes.

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  • Mandy
    VIP May 2019
    Mandy ·
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    I sent them out March 20th with a RSVP date of April 15th - so they've had about a month to respond. Ugh.

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  • Formerbride
    VIP June 2019
    Formerbride ·
    • Flag

    That's terrible! So sorry you are dealing with that. The right people will be there to share both days with you, though.

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