rsvp Timeline-

If your wedding is October 2020, I wouldn't send the invitations out in December. Save the dates around that time absolutely, but invites seem a little early. I would wait until about June/July 2020 to send invitations and RSVP deadline in August or September.

View Quoted Comment If everyone was close together, I would wait that long. But all our family think we shouldn’t wait til 2020 to send them out, because so many have to drive or fly for it. And parents are fronting the wedding, so I’m trying to minimize expenses for them!

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Save the dates generally have a date and location on them, that would be plenty for your guests to start making accommodations. If you send out invites in December with a deadline 9 months later, people are either going to completely forget about it or lose the invitation with all the important information on it.

If your parents are paying for the wedding, you and FH could pay for the save the dates and it wouldn't be that costly. You can get save the dates pretty cheap through lots of different websites, the ones I'm getting will be just over a dollar a piece. I just don't think it would be in your best interest to send the invites 10 months in advance.

Honestly, save the dates can be e-mailed. A lot of people aren’t going to be able to tell you 10 months in advance if they can attend (even if travel is required) so sending invites early will likely end with you just needing to follow up with all guest. I’d do a paperless save the date in December and invites much closer to the wedding.

I know you want to save money but this idea will NOT work out for you. A good date to request RSVPs by is about 4 weeks before your wedding— this is the point at which people will actually be able to give you a real answer as to whether they will be able to attend or not. It’s the norm because it’s the sweet spot of years of experience — farther in advance people aren’t solid on their schedules yet, may not be solid on their funds yet, and may not be solid on their time off work yet. So they could attempt to reply but it wouldn’t be accurate and they’d be likely to change their answer.

But youre also right that 9-10 months is too long to have people hold on to invites and remember to respond to — they’ll put them to the side til they can actually give an answer, but in that time they’re likely to misplace them, forget about them, lose track of the due date, or anything number of other issues. That’s why 8 weeks out is the standard for mailing invites1- maybe 10 for a destination wedding, max definitely not more than 12. I promise you trying to save by sending the invite so you welt will cause you way more trouble than it is worth.

IF you want to save money by not mailing save the dates, a better alternative would be to do free save the dates— an e-std is a great option— look into Paperless Post or maybe Evite for emailed save the date options— quick, easy, free, and won’t affect your rsvp timeline.

Its hard enough getting people to rsvp , best to make it as smooth as possible by sticking to the standard tried-and-try timelines

View Quoted Comment Everyone is so old school on both sides of the family, emails wouldn’t work for 60% of them 😭 I wish we could do this, but most of them either don’t even know their email or their password to get in, never check it, etc.
Many of FHs side complained because someone else’s wedding had rsvps via their wedding website and not physical cards. 🤦🏼‍♀️
I’m probably gonna have to just bite the bullet and get physical Save the Dates like Amber said!

I would email save the dates with a link to a wedding website that has accommodation information. Sending invites out 10 months before is going to cause a huge headache for you.

View Quoted Comment If it makes you feel better a lot of companies do Black Friday/cyber Monday deals so you should be able to get them pretty cheap and still get them out in early December.

View Quoted Comment Good to know, thank you!

Thanks everyone!

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I agree with this exactly!! Also I wanted to add that since you are concerned about your guests having plenty of time to plan, save, and book travel, you could start spreading the word through your families and friend groups about the date and location, and let them know that formal invitations will go out in a bit, and that you'll have a wedding website they can check for more information. It's not as concrete as a STD, but at least lets them know when this is happening, so they can start looking into it if they want.

I also agree that Black Friday is an excellent day to get a great deal on STDs. Shutterfly, Minted, Zazzle, Ann's Bridal Bargains, VistaPrint will all be having sales, so you can get the best deals.

Sending out invitations 11 months before your date is entirely too early. Everyone will end up losing your invitation & RSVP card, and likely forgetting about it, long before the RSVP deadline and your wedding. You need to send STD’s if you insist on sending notice 11 months early. If you really don’t want to send STD’s, I would wait until at least 6 months out before sending your invitations. That is plenty of time to plan to come to a wedding, regardless of how far away it is.

I think sending the invitations out 4-6 months before your wedding date is a good sweet spot so that people don't forget about your date and most people don't know their schedule that far out. Sending out save-the-dates in December is seems better.

If you send invites that early, they will basically be considered save the dates by most of your guests and you'll have to reach out to almost everyone (I assume) much closer to your wedding. The earliest I've had an RSVP for a wedding was 3 months early and almost none of her guests responded that early so she had to reach out. If you are already spending at least $10,000, I'd just order save the dates on black friday and order really cheap ones if you want to send something out that early. Or email save the dates.

Invitations never, ever go out 9 months in advance. The go out to arrive by 8 weeks before the wedding ( mailed 9-10 weeks before.). And RSVP around 1 week before final catering count, so usually RSVP 2.5 to 3.5 weeks before the wedding. It is standard for many businesses and other employers like hospitals, to only definitely approve or deny vacation time requests 4 weeks ahead, even if submitted 3-6 months in advance. . . So depending on their employers, up to half the people will not respond before 3.5-4 weeks out, when they know they can come. It is frustrating as heck to put an early RSVP, 6 weeks or so, and nobody sends them back. So you call at 5 weeks, and they say, will not know until 4 weeks in advance, or less. Better to set a date for RSVP that is under 28 days before the wedding, and accept the reality that people cannot control employers schedules.

Check out Costco photocenter for save the dates! I did the photo cards and not the card stock and it was a fraction of the cost of anywhere else! (Even beat Shutterfly 50% off!)