RSVP cut off date?

Call them. Tell them you need to know about X date. When does your caterer need a number? A few days before that.

If they still don't respond, I suggest a follow up to let them know they can no longer be accommodated -- if you only give them a new deadline, they may still show up thinking it's no big deal.

Have you tried to get a hold of the 40 people who haven't rsvp'd? I think you'll have trouble when it comes time for the reception you might have people who showed up who didn't rsvp or whos might have gotten lost in the mail.

I had about 20 responses that didn't make the rsvp date, FH and I hounded those people to get an answer. If they've ever been in your suituation, they should understand.

@Reenski and Amy V. Our final count is due on the 13th. I did call one person, a friend of mine, to ask her what's up and not only did she say yes - but she tried to add 5 people: her grandma, her mom, her cousin, her aunt and her girlfriend. No lie. I told her no, but I think she did that because we are friends, and I can be a little more on the easy going side. Would it be wrong to have someone else call on my behalf? Like my MOH? Or should I just man up and do it myself?

It's usually better to have someone else call, some guests don't like saying no directly to the bride and groom. So if you can have the MOH or parents take a few calls each, that would be ideal. Just have them explain that you do need to know by, say the 8th at the latest or they won't be accommodated. On the 10th, you can go ahead and follow up again with those who still didn't respond (which should be well less than 40) and let them know that at this point, you'll no longer be able to accommodate them at the wedding, but you look forward to sharing pictures and catching up after the fact! (Or something else cheerful like that.)

For some relatives and family friends, I had my parents e-mail or phone them to find out if they were coming. For the few friends that we had left who didn't respond, my DH or I just e-mailed them. We only had about 5-10 people who hadn't responded by about a week after the RSVP date.

I'm going to start calling 2 days after the RSVP date.

How we plan on doing it is if it is my side I will call and then if it is the groom's side he will call. That way both of you have to do it and are the ones that know the people better to get responses.