RSVP count- What to do..

If I wasn't a close family member or friend, and I had to wait in a line of 250 people.... I'm leaving and taking my gift.

Courtney, I definitely understand wanting to not having to pay for more people than who actually show up. However, as has been stated, you definitely want to allot for the adequate number of guests who RSVP. I definitely understand being concerned about people showing up who did not RSVP. Definitely follow-up with whoever you have not heard from. For our wedding, we are not doing a guest list per say (because I agree that having people get checked off of a list is kind of like a night club) but we are doing escort cards. If you don't have an escort card, you don't get into the wedding. If there is no card for you, that is when the hostess will cross-reference a list. I don't agree that it is a part of being a gracious host to let people in who have decided not to respond after following up with them even after the RSVP date. These are adults, if they cannot get it right even after a follow-up phone call, I don't think that the onus is then on you to figure it out.

TeamAndre where did you get your escort cards? I have designed a seating chart already.

TeamAndre where did you get your escort cards? I have designed a seating chart already.

If anyone shows up at the door who did not RSVP yes, have them stand to the side until your guests are seated. Then, IF there is room, let the extras find seats.

I belong to a group that has a convention every year. People are told they MUST RSVP for the catered meals. One guy showed up w/o having sent in his RSVP. I said, "Phil, wait until everyone else goes through the buffet line. If there is any food left, help yourself. If not, there is a Wendy's down the road." (There was enough food and he did not have to resort to Wendy's) He sent in his RSVP every year after that!

If anyone shows up at the door who did not RSVP yes, have them stand to the side until your guests are seated. Then, IF there is room, let the extras find seats.

I belong to a group that has a convention every year. People are told they MUST RSVP for the catered meals. One guy showed up w/o having sent in his RSVP. I said, "Phil, wait until everyone else goes through the buffet line. If there is any food left, help yourself. If not, there is a Wendy's down the road." (There was enough food and he did not have to resort to Wendy's) He sent in his RSVP every year after that!

@Nancy a wedding is different than a convention. While it's rude to not RSVP and show up they still showed up to support the bride and groom and likely brought a gift so it would be in pretty poor taste to tell them to go eat at a wendys. OP you can't control everything just be a courteous host and leave a little wiggle room with your numbers for food and seats.

Are the escort cards necessary if you have a HUGE/FANCY seating chart for all the guests to view (listed by last name)?

If you have a detailed seating chart (and I assume place cards at each seat, since you don't have escort cards), then what's the need for a list at the door? You really think people who didn't RSVP or weren't invited would just take someone else's assigned and labeled seat? Actually curious. That sounds absurdly rude, and I don't think many people are that brazen. Seems like a seating chart automatically solves the problem you're trying to avoid with the list. Maybe give your family and friends a little more credit?

You should definitely give the caterer the actual final number. In fact, it's a good idea to wait about a week after your RSVP deadline, to allow for those that assume the deadline is whe they actually have to send out the card in the mail, and then give the caterer the final numbers so that there is enough food for everyone that shows up! =)

I plan events for a living. I always give the venue the exact amount of RSVPs that I have when they require the final number. The amount of people who RSVP late always balances out any no shows and I end up within the percentage of extras that the venue provides. Hope this helps.

I agree with sprezz, as long as you assign actual seats and not just tables, people cannot take the seat of someone who RSVPd. If they did, everyone will know, like they could easily be called out on it if the person who did RSVP came to find their seat. I'm sure this would be fine for making sure your RSVPs got their meals first!

We are doing a seating chart and assigned seats (as that is where their placecards are going to be) - The place cards will be in a placecard holder, which will serve as the favor. The place cards are also either going to be completely color coded OR they will have snowflakes glued to the back with a color code (for the cater to reference, as it's a plated dinner). We are also giving exact told numbers and by table (as well as any allergies/food restricitions that are associated with each table).

I think it could be viewed as rude if you have a list at the front door, however, it may work for your wedding (and I haven't been to a wedding like that but have heard of them).

Just as other PP have stated - give exact numbers to the caterer.

I'd automatically give your caterer the exact amount regardless and leave the assumptions alone.

Sorry for the delay in response Courtney. I purchased my escort cards from Hobby Lobby. I got them during their every-other-week 50% off wedding sale. Escort cards aren't absolutely necessary, especially if you're doing assigned seating at each table. As has already been mentioned, it would be pretty obvious if someone who did not rsvp took the seat of someone who did. We are opting to do assigned tables without actual assigned seats, so that is why we are doing the escort cards.

We are doing assigned tables but not assigned seating. I will definitely look up the escort cards though! Thank you!

For my wedding I did order 3 extra plates...I rounded up.

No one who declined showed up anyway.

I had one couple let me know after I gave my count and paid for everything that they would not be able to make it.

I had six guests not show, but 5 was an entire family. And a wife was sick, only the husband came.

So I ended up having 11 extra plates.

In hindsight I didn't need the extra plates.