RSVP count- What to do..

Note: We are not accounting for people who show up and try to come to the reception on the day of. We aren't allowing people who did not RSVP into the reception & I have hostesses who will be at the door taking names. I know it may sound mean, but personally i think it's rude to not RSVP when you received a Save the Date 7 months in advance and invitations 8 weeks in advance.

Hope the hostess has fun checking 250 names off a list...come on, yes not submitting an RSVP is rude, but the solution is not to be rude back. You should be a gracious host and find them a spot.

And you should absolutely give your caterer accurate numbers. Be honest, they're running a business. And you don't want to run the risk of running out of food. What if everyone shows up?

Is it worth saving a few hundred dollars to run the risk of not having enough food prepared?

Thanks for the feedback! My intention is not to be rude, it's moreso to make sure people who actually RSVP'd get their seats first. It's only fair. And i have multiple hostesses , I actually got the idea from another wedding I attended and it was organized and problem-free .

We are also renting chairs, another reason I am also posing this question.

I don't think you should plan for no-shows. I know they often happen, but you could end up with 100% attendance.

I also agree to not quote less. It could end up being a mess, say you receive RSVPs for 250, and then quote the caterer 240, but 247 show. I know you don't want to pay more than necessary, yet under hosting would be worse.

225 RSVPd yes. 224 attended. (1 friend had to fly to Asia, to attend to her dying father).

We needed tables and chairs, chair covers, tablecloths, candles and centerpieces.

What will your guests do, if you under-report and they show up - sit on the floor?

If people don't RSVP by the deadline, follow up with them. You need an answer from everyone.

141 rsvp'd yes, 136 attended. All of our no shows let us know before the wedding that something had come up and they couldn't come. Please don't make it someone's job to stand at the door with a list. Your wedding is not a nightclub. It's not like you're going to be paying for 50 no shows, it's usually only a few.

Yes, definitely follow up. We only sent 72 invites and two legitimately got lost in the mail.

It's fair, after making a second attempt to follow up, to then tell people you're sorry they won't be attending. I wouldn't do it at the door, though. And, with a group as large as yours, you're going to want a few extra seats just in case. There's more variability with a large group.

Honestly, if you can afford to host such a large wedding, nickel and diming at this stage (regarding chairs and adequate food) doesn't make sense. If the budget was that tight to begin with, you should have had a smaller guest list.

Thanks for the feedback ladies! From the looks of the responses, I guess I just need to give my caterer an exact count.

Again, my purpose for the hostesses at the door is to ensure people who actually RSVPd gets a seat first. I would hate for the people who actually RSVP'd not to have a seat because a few people who didn't RSVP decide to come to the reception at the last minute.

My RSVP deadline is the 7th, but I do not have to give my caterer a final count until the 12th. Sorry that I didn't clarify. I will be making follow up calls from the people I didn't hear from during that 5 day period of time.

Why would people who RSVP'd not have a seat? Are you not doing a seating chart?

Again, you need to follow up with anyone who doesn't RSVP. Period. Then you won't need lists.

I am potentially ordering an exact number of seats and plates for people who RSVP'D. If I allowed anybody to come to the reception without checking for names , people who did NOT RSVP may end up taking seats that were originally for guests who RSVP'd. Sorry, if I wasn't clear.

Eh.. That's tricky. What if everyone does show? It does happen! But our count was 160 (including vendors). That I know of: the officiant left before dinner (even though he said he required one), there were 3 cancellations due to deaths of loved ones, 1 person couldn't find a date (my older sister... Not surprised), and 2 guests did a no show with no reason before or after and I haven't heard from them since. But doing what you are saying is risky. My friend only had 2 not show up out of almost 300. Smaller weddings usually have zero no shows. Is it worth the hundred or so to mess with the number? And are you SURE the caterers make extra? I don't see why they would. And why are you so concerned about guests showing up who declined? I've never heard of that happening.

Stephanie, I will be following up with guests as I mentioned in my previous answer. BUT based on other brides before me, they have all told me about people who just show up at the last minute, sometimes people who weren't even invited! THAT is why I have a list, while I would LOVE to accommodate everyone, that just isn't possible. As I also mentioned before, I have seen this done at other weddings, and to my knowledge no one thought it was rude.

Pancakes, my caterer said he does make a little extra for all of his events just in case. And yes it is tricky, so I am most likely just going to give him my exact number to be safe.

Yeah, just be safe and do that. It will be less stress for you. The list thing is weird, but I guess if it happens to your area than do that.