Roommate invites

I would wait to see how things pan out. You never know...a friendship may flourish with time.

View Quoted Comment True! I do have some time...though I will be sending out save the dates in the next month or so. If our relationship stays as is tho, is it rude to not invite them even though we live together?

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Well they're not going to be your roommates for long, so I don't see the harm in inviting them.

I don’t think it’s rude. I just started a new job and will not be inviting my new coworkers unless I have space available from people rsvping no

If you have the space, I would invite them, but I wouldn't stress about it.

View Quoted Comment I’m not doing coworkers too. I have a couple that I’m closer with, but because our firm is smaller, it’s a situation where if I invite one or two, I have to invite everyone and I can’t afford that. Easier to just not invite coworkers

View Quoted Comment Exactly. Our budget is small and firm as well. So we laid a rule down: if we don’t talk to them often and they don’t make an effort to reach out then we don’t need to invite them. This may seem rude but it’s helping us not have 200 people on our guest list

If it were me, I’d invite them. You don’t have to give them plus ones though. You could spin it like a “thanks for being my roommates” invite or whatever. But I would invite them. Plus if your wedding isn’t soon, you may develop a relationship by the time you send official invites out. If you are really unsure, then don’t give them a save the date. They know you’re getting married anyways.

View Quoted Comment That’s true. Though if I do invite them (which I probably will), I feel like I should invite their SOs too. I mean, they are here practically all the time anyways they may as well be living here too haha

I would invite them just to avoid any potential awkwardness. I mean, you do have to live with the people. And you’ll probably become closer as the wedding draws near.

Most likely I’d invite them, but I wouldn’t give a save the date. I’d wait for formal invites so you have more time to gauge the relationship

Hmm. I guess I'll be the minority voice here but if you really aren't close with them I would not invite them, since you seem like you don't really want to.

Think of it this way - do you envision yourself maintaining a relationship with them - like, hanging out and talking regularly - once you no longer live together? If no, then I don't think it's a close enough relationship to warrant an invite. But that's just my perspective as someone who has budget constraints and needs to limit guest list to nearest and dearest. It could be awkward, but they'll get over it, and if you're truly not that close they might not mind. It's possible they're just making wedding small talk with you to be polite anyway.

But like others said, at the very least, don't send an StD and wait and see how you feel at invite time.

If you don't consider them your friends, chances are, you won't talk to them at alllll once you get married.

My senior year of college (I was engaged this whole year), I kept living with two of my best friends, and we also got one random roommate. So I only lived with roommate #3 for one year. I couldn't stand her! She totally expected an invite to the wedding, too. But I knew I wouldn't see her after graduating (and I don't). So I didn't invite her and don't feel bad about it at all!

No, it is not rude to not invite them. It is perfectly fine. Being roommates doesn’t force a friendship, and remember that your wedding is a DEEPLY personal moment for you. It doesn’t sound like you’ll maintain much of a relationship after you move out, in which case I would definitely not include them. Most people understand not everyone gets an invite to every wedding so I doubt it’s somethinh they’d take personally. If you’re not close, don’t invite.

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Yes, if you invite them, definitely invite their SOs, it's rude not to. Especially since they probably won't know anyone there. If you aren't going to invite their SOs, don't invite them. I would say if you have the space or need to hit a minimum number of people go for it, but don't feel like you need to. I think people understand that weddings are expensive and you can't always invite who you want to.

Btw. I say it’s not rude as a person who has had A LOT of roommates , so I’m thinking from the perspective of having been in the exact relationship you describe. Not only do I not think it is rude or weird all to not include them , I think it would be even MORE awkward TO invite them. They’ll only know eachother, and, from experience, they may feel obligated to attend. (Not a wedding, but I’ve definitely been invited to roommate birthday parties where it’s like— I’m not super psyched to go, but I can’t very well pretend like I have something else going on to get out of it when you can clearly see that I am just home in sweats watching tv 🤣).

It sounds like wedding talk is just an easy conversation, and they’re excited about it because they are decent human beings and happy for you, but it by no means obligates you to invite them. There is a line between friendLY and friendS, and one side of it certainly doesn’t get invited to my wedding.

MOREOVER, I had a pretty strict number cap so I was very choosy about my guestlist. Even pretty good friends of mine didn’t make the cut because there were other, closer people I wanted to prioritize— and that was fine ! It’s the nature of the guestlist. Choose the people you WANT there to celebrate with you, don’t invite out of obligation (and if you have to [everyone has that crazy uncle, right?] do so only where you need to, hah, like a family thing to keep the peace with people that will be around for the rest of your lives!)

lol sorry for all my rambling, I just feel strongly that it is not at all rude, and I don’t want the other answers in this thread guilting you into it when it’s surely not necessary.
Before i I moved in with my now husband I had a 4 bedroom house for 6 years and subletted the rooms , so I’ve had more than my fair share of the ‘roommate relationship’ —I was friendly with basically all of them. But largely our relationships were chat in the kitchen when we’re all cooking , mostly about easy topics, and sometimes watch tv together— that does not an invite warrant. One set of roommates, I became particularly close with (these ones did get birthday invites!) and we’ve kept in touch since and occasionally brunch or have eachother at parties— but even THEY aren’t close enough to warrant an invite.

So, no save the dates. If between now and invites you actually start hanging out and forming a friendship, then extend the invite. But otherwise, think of the general coworker rule of thumb: If you don’t socialize outside of work, don’t invite. Same rules apply: if you don’t socialize with them outside of the house, don’t invite.

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I agree with this. I was surprised so many on this thread are advocating to invite them, but I think it is absolutely not necessary. Think of it another way - if you invite them just to avoid some temporary awkwardness, and then the relationship inevitably fizzles out once you no longer live together and don't talk anymore, won't you look back one day and kinda wish you had just saved the money and skipped the invite? I probably would, and this is why we are only inviting nearest and dearest to our wedding. I don't want to pay for people to come to my wedding that I barely have a relationship with, and I certainly don't want to "obligation invite" anyone just to avoid possible momentary awkwardness. And I say this as someone who has also had many roommates, all of whom I got along fine with but do not keep in touch with to this day. Not all roommates end up like The Golden Girls, and that's perfectly fine.

Now, all of that said, you've only known these two a short time so it is possible a relationship could develop by the time you send out invites. I would just not worry about it until then.