Reserved Chairs for deceased in-laws

I have to say it's kind of a downer for many. You can certainly pay tribute in a solemn and considerate manner without the chairs, imo.

We are doing a vase of four callas with a little card with each of our parents' names.

I've never heard of this before, so here's what I think:

I think it's a nice idea. You should make signs that say "in memory of (name)" and place it on the chair.

I'm not a fan of this - both of my parents are deceased and, as the bride, it was hard enough to go through the day without them. There is no way I could have had empty seats there to remind me of what I did not have (because that's how I see it).

What I've seen/heard, though, is just simply red roses in the seat with no sign.

I am thinking of doing this. We have so many to do in memory of and no photos of some of them. Some people she it as a down but some also see having photos as a downer.

I'm not a fan of this either. My father passed away almost 2 years ago, and I've also lost 3 grandparents. I feel like it would make me and everyone else distraught to see those empty chairs during the ceremony (which is supposed to be happy!). We're doing pictures near the guestbook of them as a remembrance and I'll have a small picture charm of my dad attached to my bouquet. I think in situations like this, subtle is better. You don't want your wedding to feel like a memorial.

I donʻt like the look of empty chairs in photos or the idea of reserving a physical spot for someone who lives in your heart in spirit- kind of a downer! we lit candles in the church and put it in the programs.

I agree with Tina on that sort of being a sad reminder, when your wedding is suppose to be a happy event. BUT! Given that it is your FH's parents, that is something I would definitely want to show respect for. I wouldn't go over the top with it, but maybe just a little sign with a cute/meaningful saying on it in the front row where his parents would have sat. A friend of mine recently got married and her FH had just lost his brother, whom they were both close with, so the bride put a little picture in a locket and tied it around her flowers. There was also a couple pics of them near the card table. His presence was known but not to the point where everybody was sad. I thought it to be very touching.

FH's mother passed a few years ago. We are honoring her memory by having little skunk cake toppers. She adored skunks. I think it's a good example of a way to remember those that have died in a more light-hearted way. It's a happy day.

Seriously dont listen to anyone who says its a downer and so on. Only you and your fh will know how your family will react to this. We did it for my grandpa and my husbands dad and my grandma was so touched by it she couldnt stop crying because she loved how we including my grandpa in our day. So again only you and your fh know your in laws and will know how they will react. My family and husbands family LOVED that we did it.

This is what we did for the reception and at ceremony we put the pictures and flowers on one chair at the end of the first row.

No. There are many ways to remember family members who have passed; this is among my least favorite. The effect of those empty chairs/ signs on other people at the wedding is something you cannot estimate, especially when it comes as a surprise. Your officiant should say something about them during the ceremony, you can acknowledge them with photos and a mention in the program, but not empty chairs.

There are a lot of in memory ideas, but i agree that if he asked for it then you should do it. i like the idea of a rose with a little tag on it with their name (or just "mom" and "dad") on each chair.

I'm sorry the idea of empty chairs is creepy to me

I would be sad at the sight of empty chairs, or at the very least distracted by them. I think a note in the program is plenty, or you could find out their wedding songs, or favorite song, and play it at the reception. Subtle is better.

No. I don't like this idea. My mom died when I was younger (12) and I would not want the have an empty chair for her (or anyone else myself and FH have lost). It has been hard enough planning my wedding without having her here, everyone who knew her knows why she is not here.

I am not a fan of this idea either. I lost my had a little over a year ago. It'd kill me to see an empty chair where he should be. I'm instead having a charm of him on my bouquet, and when my step dad walks me down the aisle, and our officiant asks "who presents this woman to marry this man?" my step dad will say "On behalf of all that have gathered here today, and Angela's dad watching over us today, I do." Like Ashley said, it's hard enough planning without that person here.

My FHs parents are deseased as well. We are only having 2 red roses displayed off to the side of the alter.

I think people should do what makes them feel better. but as for my own opinion, I don't like memorial tables since putting pictures out of the deceased is what you do at funerals in my dad's family. a wedding is supposed to be a happy day, not a day of mourning.

but, since your groom is the one that asked, then do the chairs if it makes him feel better. but I wouldn't do the names. I would just put roses on them.

Thanks everyone!! I like the idea of a rose on the chair. Since his brothers will be there I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

My FH parents have passed, and we are having a poem and a moment of silence during the ceremony.

Do what means the most to you two.

One groom's parents had both died shortly before the wedding. They decided to put a rose on the 2 chairs where his parents would have sat.

One groom had his pic taken holding a photo of his recently deceased dad and then put the photo on dad's chair.

One bride walked down the aisle with a large decanter in her arms. Turned out it was her dad's ashes. She set the bottle at her feet for the duration of the ceremony.

Many couples have noted deceased relatives/friends in their programs. Some have me mention them.