Removing a bridesmaid

View Quoted Comment You’re not overreacting. But as my FH says sometimes you need “girl time” has she openly said she doesn’t like your fiancé? I would say trust your guy and use your judgement. You don’t want YOUR day ruined if your friend is going to “spoil” it

View Quoted Comment She never openly said it. She's only met him once before this time due to us being long distance the first 3 years of our relationship.

Playing devils advocate here! I’d talk to her about her concerns. This way you can understand if she’s just being petty(if this is the case then take action and remove her from your party) or if she has legitimate concerns about him.

View Quoted Comment She doesn’t like him because in the wayyyyy beginning of our relationship (we’ve been together 5 years) he would always break up with me. Then refused to get to know him after that. Her husband always cow tails to what she says even though he’s said let’s all get together and hang out she automatically says no.

View Quoted Comment Idk hun. Maybe (like what I have to do) sit and talk with her and find out why

Well if she does not care for him or welcome him. I politely tell her that you hope she change her mind regarding him because you value her friendship but if he is not someone she cares for you prefer that she wont be a bridesmaid. She still invited for the wedding but you want as bridesmaids people that care for both of you

I am also having a similar problem. My best friend does not care for my fiancé, but we had a long talk about it and we understand each other. She is still my bridesmaid because she respects that I want to marry him, even though she doesnt like him. I made her promise me not to make any drama and to allow me to have my day and she said she will happily be there to support me. You and your bridesmaid should try to have a talk about it and see if you can work something out like this. If not, then tell her that it will not work anymore and that you no longer feel comfortable with her as a part of your wedding. It may not go over very well, but this day is about you and your partner.

I had a bridesmaid as well that was a bit negative & would delay getting the dress & other things. I felt like she didnt really appreciate us so I called her and told her that itd be best to remove her as a bridesmaid so that she can focus on other things.
She said she was glad I talked to her. I'm assuming she never wanting to be in the wedding & had just said yes in the beginning just because she was in the spot.
It left a bad taste in my mouth & I dont talk to her anymore. Shes the one that's been texting me to catch up & I just ignore her.
You dont need negative people in your life. I've realized that people show their true effort during this time of wedding planning.

View Quoted Comment You are overreacting. She invited you to lunch. Unless she said "you and your fiance," then she only expected to be having lunch with you. You sprung it on her that you were bringing someone else to something she invited you to. She was in no way disrespecting him by only inviting you in this case. People who invite other people out only expect to see the people they invited. If you wanted your fiance to attend, you should have asked her in advance if it was okay. If you think you felt awkward at this lunch, imagine how she must have felt? It doesn't mean that she disliked him. You brought your fiance to lunch with the girls, uninvited and expected everyone to be comfortable. Again, you should have asked if he could come, you can't just assume.


I love going out with my husband and my friends together, but he also encourages me to go by myself to see friends. You may do things differently, and that's okay, but you can't just assume that "everyone expects it" when not not everyone actually expects it.
This would not be a good reason to kick her out since it sounds like you were the one who put everyone in an uncomfortable position in this case. I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear, but you asked our opinion.

View Quoted Comment I'm sorry but I don't ask anybody if my fiance can come with me to a PUBLIC place. I bring him as it's expected with us being an unit. Obviously there's a time and place for "girl time" but from what the situation sounds like, it was just referred to as a long to get together while they were in town. I would have brought my out of town fiance as well. Grown women have the voice to say that it's just a girls day or not. Besides my friends don't care if my fiance tags along when we go out, because they know we're a team. Asking if someone can tag along to a public place is absolutely absurd.

I also had to remove a bridesmaid recently. It's a tricky situation to navigate but you have to do what is best for you. It's the start of you and FH's lives together and not wanting to start that with drama and negativity from your bridal party is understandable. Our situation was different however I explained it to her from my point of view and while she wasn't happy about my decision she understood why I was doing it and that it was ultimately my decision and it was for the best. Good Luck and I hope it goes as smoothly as it can in these scenario's.

View Quoted Comment It’s good to be a team but sometimes just a girls time should be for girls unless they invited their significant others as well

Ahh terrible I'm sorry I would 100% remove that bridesmaid. If she doesnt support your fiance and is ostracizing him, then she doesnt support you. She's not being a friend at all.

First, I'm really sorry you have to go through this! You should never have to choose between your fiancee & a friend, as both should be mature enough to deal with each other, even if they aren't the best of friends.

I'd say that you should invite her to lunch or dinner and explain the situation--you really value her friendship but you won't her over your fiancee. Her reaction to what you said will determine if you want her to stay or not--if she honestly makes amends & says she will give him a fair chance, then I'd say that would stay a bridesmaid(though of course if she goes back to making comments or not inviting him, then she needs to be removed at that time.) On the other hand, if she won't see where you are coming from or she lashes out at your choice, then you need to explain that you want your wedding day stress free and for that reason, it's best for her to attend the wedding as a guest and not be in your bridal party. Please let us know what you decide; I'm thinking of you as you have that tough conversation.

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From what you said, it sounds like your friend isn't worth the stress she will cause on YOUR big day.

View Quoted Comment You raise an excellent point. Since they were both in town, it is weird that one was invited and not the other, but I still think there was some sort of miscommunication involved. The girl who did the inviting should have been more clear on it being just the girls. I guess that if it was me, I would have asked for the clarification. I have been invited to parties or events where my husband didn't receive an invitation and I would ask the host if he could come as well. The other reason I said that is because some people prefer to pay for the meals when they invite people out to eat.

How can she accept the position of a bridesmaid if she doesn't like the groom?

I would just let her now your sorry and tell her why you don't feel comfortable with her being a bridesmaids. I had to do this to two of my bridesmaids but now I am very content with my wedding party.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much! And thank you everyone for your input

I would break the friendship, sadly. I would text and say I feel you have been very distrustful towards my fiancée and it makes me uncomfortable. Unfortunately I have to uninvite you as a wedding guest