Honor them specifically or just honor all those that have been lost?
We are putting some wording in the programs:
Regretfully, some of our relatives are no longer with us to celebrate this special day. We feel they are here in spirit and know they are always in our hearts. We would like to remember all others you are watching us from above today
All 4 of my grandparents have passed away. I am doing a few things to include them in my ceremony. While I am going to write something in my program to acknowledge them, I really wanted to do something more than that. Before my FH's grandparents are escorted down the aisle, I am going to have my cousins on each side of my family walk down the aisle with a bouquet of white roses for each grandparent to lay on the table up in front where there will be a candle and framed photos of them. I think it's nice to write something in a program, but I feel that I lost my grandparents too young and I would've loved to have them there. I was especially close to my maternal grandma who also made my baby blanket. I was very attached to that blanket and they always joked that I would have to carry it down the aisle someday because I was never seen without it. I am taking some lace off of that blanket to wrap my bouquet so that I can.
Meredith, I really like the picture frame. I lost both my Great Grandmother(I was really close to her growing up)and My Grandfather and would like to honor them in someway. I think I might do the same and have a picture of them out. Thanks for the idea.
Meredith I too love your idea of taking a piece of something that means something to you given by Grandmother and adding it to your bouquet. I do have a few things that my BFF's Mom gave to me that I could somehow incorporate into my decor. My fiance' also has something I am sure I can use too. Thanks so much Ladies.
During the ceremony, we are having FH's son and my daughter do Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here". While they are singing/playing guitar, we will be lighting a memorial candle I ordered from David's Bridal.
I added our grandparents who have passed away to the back of our program and said: "At this joyous time we wish to remember family and friends who were not able to be here today. And, for those loved ones who have gone before, we hold your memory close in our hearts today and always. In memory of: such and such person."
I also added small pin frames to my bouquet with pictures of my grandparents who have passed. It felt like they had a front row seat to the big day
I am having a memorial table. I got one of those Memorial Vases from Target.com and will have some flowers in it, and a couple of candles, and made place cards for our loved ones we want to remember. Our Wedding Coordinator will also place those at the reception as well.
WE are releasing balloons for my FH best friend that has passed and because fathers are a sign (danny) is still with us. ( like when FH sees one he knows danny put it there. I love finding them on my son btw) we are having feathers mixed with the flowers that the FG will drop
As an officiant, I do occasionally get asked this question, and here's my 'standard' reply:
While I do believe in honoring someone close to you who has passed away, I think it's important to remember that this is a wedding, and not a funeral. You can honor this person 364 days per year as you see fit, for the rest of your lives -- this day will never come again. I am not in favor of taking focus away from the couple (there ARE exceptions -- e.g., recent death of a close family member), or for making guests cry in sorrow rather than in happiness (at your nuptials).
So, unless I am otherwise directed by my couple (and this does happen), I recommend a generic phrase near the beginning of the ceremony, like: "This is also a time to celebrate all of those who have touched their lives and are not able to be with us in person today, but are here in spirit. Let us remember them, please, with a moment of silent reflection."