Mrs Roberts
Expert November 2011

Remembrance During Ceremony

Mrs Roberts, on July 6, 2011 at 3:18 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 25
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FH and I lost our best friends several years apart and would like to honor and remember them in some way. Does anyone have any idea as to how to go about this? Wording to put it on our programs?

Thanks so much in advance!

25 Comments

  • Will be Mrs B
    VIP October 2011
    Will be Mrs B ·

    Honor them specifically or just honor all those that have been lost?

    We are putting some wording in the programs:

    We Remember

    Regretfully, some of our relatives are no longer with us to celebrate this special day. We feel they are here in spirit and know they are always in our hearts. We would like to remember all others you are watching us from above today

  • StankaMonsta
    Super October 2011
    StankaMonsta ·

    I need to know this as well. FW lost both grandmothers this year; one in March and the other in May. I wanted to include someing in the ceremony for them as well.

  • Meredith
    Expert October 2011
    Meredith ·

    All 4 of my grandparents have passed away. I am doing a few things to include them in my ceremony. While I am going to write something in my program to acknowledge them, I really wanted to do something more than that. Before my FH's grandparents are escorted down the aisle, I am going to have my cousins on each side of my family walk down the aisle with a bouquet of white roses for each grandparent to lay on the table up in front where there will be a candle and framed photos of them. I think it's nice to write something in a program, but I feel that I lost my grandparents too young and I would've loved to have them there. I was especially close to my maternal grandma who also made my baby blanket. I was very attached to that blanket and they always joked that I would have to carry it down the aisle someday because I was never seen without it. I am taking some lace off of that blanket to wrap my bouquet so that I can.

  • I
    Savvy August 2013
    iris ·

    I am planning to honor my dad at my wedding in august 31st 2013 my dad died in 1986 i know he is always with me . there is nothing wrong with honoring whose who passed on . so say yes.

  • FutureMrsHodges
    VIP September 2012
    FutureMrsHodges ·

    I was going to put something in the programs . But for my oldest brother that I lost in 2005 I will put a photo locket to my bouquet with his picture inside.

  • Brittany
    Just Said Yes September 2012
    Brittany ·

    Meredith, I really like the picture frame. I lost both my Great Grandmother(I was really close to her growing up)and My Grandfather and would like to honor them in someway. I think I might do the same and have a picture of them out. Thanks for the idea.

  • Mrs Roberts
    Expert November 2011
    Mrs Roberts ·

    Meredith I too love your idea of taking a piece of something that means something to you given by Grandmother and adding it to your bouquet. I do have a few things that my BFF's Mom gave to me that I could somehow incorporate into my decor. My fiance' also has something I am sure I can use too. Thanks so much Ladies.

  • Hayley C™
    Master March 2008
    Hayley C™ ·

    More poem ideas for the programs....

    In Remembrance...

    Although we cannot see you,

    We know that you are here.

    We feel the warmth of your smile,

    And can sense that you are near.

    And we want for you to know,

    Your love is still our guide,

    Memories carried in our hearts,

    You are always at our side.

    It's so sad you will not be here,

    On the day we say "I do",

    And so we say our vows today,

    In loving memory of you.

  • Hayley C™
    Master March 2008
    Hayley C™ ·

    In Memory of..

    For Mom...

    Although you may not see her,

    you know your Mom is here,

    you carry her within your heart

    and feel her presence near.

    You know she will be happy

    to see your wedding day,

    she knows you’ve found your one true love

    and that you’ll be okay.

    You know that as she watches

    your wedding from above,

    she’ll send you all her blessings

    and with it all her love.

    If you listen very carefully

    you’ll hear your mother say,

    “It’s the love you show that matters most

    each and every day.”

    For Dad...

    Dear Lord please clear a spot for him:

    he should have the perfect view.

    His little girl's a Bride today,

    and I am counting on you.

    Let me feel his presence;

    as I journey down the aisle.

    But let me notice his abscence;

    if only for a while.

    Let me stop to think of him;

    As I am given away.

    And know that if he could;

    he would be here with me today.

    Dear Lord please clear a spot for him;

    he should have the perfect view.

    And if he should get sad today;

    Dear Lord I count on you

  • FutureMrsHodges
    VIP September 2012
    FutureMrsHodges ·

    @ Hayley : Me likey , I will have to borrow the first one.

  • Carole M (a.k.a "old tart")
    Master October 2011
    Carole M (a.k.a "old tart") ·

    Such lovely sentiments and ideas ladies!

    During the ceremony, we are having FH's son and my daughter do Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here". While they are singing/playing guitar, we will be lighting a memorial candle I ordered from David's Bridal.

  • Mrs Roberts
    Expert November 2011
    Mrs Roberts ·

    Hayley that is awesome! I wanted to put it on our programs as well bc both our familes know how much it means to us to have them acknowledge them there in spirit.

  • Ali
    Expert October 2011
    Ali ·

    We aren't doing anything during the ceremony for them, but we are having a large glass plack (sp?) engraved with their names and putting in on a special table with a bouquet of roses.

  • Carole M (a.k.a "old tart")
    Master October 2011
    Carole M (a.k.a "old tart") ·

    I actually just got my memorial candle in the mail. I bought it at David's Bridal. The ribbon comes in a variety of colors. The base also comes in silver tone.


  • M
    Master March 2011
    Mrs. Boat ·

    I added our grandparents who have passed away to the back of our program and said: "At this joyous time we wish to remember family and friends who were not able to be here today. And, for those loved ones who have gone before, we hold your memory close in our hearts today and always. In memory of: such and such person."

    I also added small pin frames to my bouquet with pictures of my grandparents who have passed. It felt like they had a front row seat to the big day

  • rlg510
    Super July 2011
    rlg510 ·

    I am having a memorial table. I got one of those Memorial Vases from Target.com and will have some flowers in it, and a couple of candles, and made place cards for our loved ones we want to remember. Our Wedding Coordinator will also place those at the reception as well.

  • J
    Master November 2011
    J&R ·

    A candle won't work for our DW, but I think we will have the officiant incorporate a moment of silence, or a short reading, in honor of our loved ones who have passed.

  • April2012Bride
    Super April 2012
    April2012Bride ·

    I am going to have a special table at the reception in memory of my mother. I am going to have a special (white) flower arrangement, her picture and several candles...one being a memorial candle lit.

  • Lindsay
    Expert August 2011
    Lindsay ·

    WE are releasing balloons for my FH best friend that has passed and because fathers are a sign (danny) is still with us. ( like when FH sees one he knows danny put it there. I love finding them on my son btw) we are having feathers mixed with the flowers that the FG will drop

  • Reverend Paul  Costello
    October 2019
    Reverend Paul Costello ·

    As an officiant, I do occasionally get asked this question, and here's my 'standard' reply:

    While I do believe in honoring someone close to you who has passed away, I think it's important to remember that this is a wedding, and not a funeral. You can honor this person 364 days per year as you see fit, for the rest of your lives -- this day will never come again. I am not in favor of taking focus away from the couple (there ARE exceptions -- e.g., recent death of a close family member), or for making guests cry in sorrow rather than in happiness (at your nuptials).

    So, unless I am otherwise directed by my couple (and this does happen), I recommend a generic phrase near the beginning of the ceremony, like: "This is also a time to celebrate all of those who have touched their lives and are not able to be with us in person today, but are here in spirit. Let us remember them, please, with a moment of silent reflection."

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