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Just Said Yes October 2020


Cassandra, on July 14, 2020 at 10:47 AM Posted in Do It Yourself 0 9
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Questions about rehearsal....

I know its probably by preference but who generally pays for the rehearsal dinner?

Should we have a dress code? Casual, formal?

Should we hand out bridal party gifts at rehearsal or the day of wedding as we are getting ready??

Thank you in advance!!!


  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
    • Flag

    1.) The couple pays for the rehearsal dinner unless someone else offers.

    2.) The formality of the event should tell the guests what kind of attire to wear. You don't need to set a dress code, just like the actual wedding.

    3.) Either one is fine.

    • Reply
  • Jessica
    VIP September 2020
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    No one should be expected to pay, but traditionally the groom’s family would pay since the bride’s family pays for the wedding. Obviously this isn’t always the case these days, many couples pay for their own wedding and, unless someone offers, their own rehearsal. We are doing a really informal rehearsal and will probably order pizzas or something for everyone staying at the vacation rental with us (mainly WP). We will hand out gifts at the rehearsal because on the wedding day we’ll all be so busy in the morning with a sunrise ceremony planned for 7am.
    • Reply
  • Marcia
    Devoted March 2021
    Marcia ·
    • Flag
    In my experience, the groom's family often pays for the rehearsal dinner--but of course, this will vary. The groom's family would offer, not be presumed to be paying.

    Guests like to know what to wear. I agree with PP that you should indicate the formality of the event. I have also received a dress code for other rehearsal dinners as a guest and appreciated it, but I'm not sure if that's proper ettiquite.
    I say you give gifts whenever you want!
    • Reply
  • Annika
    Devoted November 2020
    Annika ·
    • Flag

    I've heard that the groom's family typically picks up the bill as traditionally the brides family pays for the wedding, but that's not what most people do nowadays. We are paying for half of the wedding as well as the rehearsal dinner, and my parents are providing the other half of the wedding $$. So i think its up to you!

    As for dress code in my opinion it depends on the type of restaurant if you aren't having it at the venue. Like if its at a BBQ or tex-mex I would say casual, but if it's at cheesecake factory or olive garden I would say "Sunday best" but that's just me! Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Chrysta
    Rockstar November 2021
    Chrysta ·
    • Flag
    I think the standards on who pays for what has pretty much been left by the wayside in recent years. Especially with couples marrying later in life, when they are more financially secure. I would suggest all couples plan to pay for their own rehearsal dinners, unless a family member offers to pay. Guest attire should reflect the venue, but I don’t think it would be necessary to convey a dress code to them. I think most people understand if you are going to a fancy restaurant, you need dress nice, and if you are going to a backyard barbecue, you can dress casual. As far as the timing of giftgiving, that is really up to your discretion. Personally, I detest having to open presents in front of others (top reason I refuse to have a wedding shower LOL ) so I will be giving out gifts to each person privately. Plus, I think it is more meaningful when you have that private moment with them.
    • Reply
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    1. The bride and groom should pay unless someone else offers. My mother-in-law offered to pay so that was the only reason we didn't pay for it. Guests should not ever be expected to pay for their own meals.

    2. It depends on how formal of an event you want your rehearsal to be. If you plan on having it at a nice restaurant then I think it is fine to ask your guests to dress up a little more, but if you just plan on having pizza and beer then jeans and t-shirts would be fine. We had ours at a nice Italian restaurant so we asked our guests not to wear jeans.
    3. It's up to you when you want to give them their gifts. We gave our bridal party and parents their gifts at different times. It depended on when we saw them. For instance, I stayed at my parents' house the Thursday before our wedding so that's when I gave them their gifts. Whereas, we didn't see my father-in-law until at the wedding because he didn't attend the rehearsal nor did he get ready with my husband. Because we didn't see him until then there wasn't really a chance to give him a gift at the wedding so he attended the breakfast the next day so that's when he got his gift.
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    We had a casual dress code but we did send out invitations via evite for them. we paid for the rehearsal dinner. i handed my gifts out that day at rehearsal dinner since it was the night before.

    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Rockstar October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    We paid for our rehearsal dinner with the help of both of our parents.

    We didn't set a dress code, but when our bridal party asked what we were wearing, we showed them. That kind of set the tone.

    I handed out our gifts at my bridal luncheon, which was a couple of weeks before our rehearsal dinner.

    • Reply
  • A
    Expert October 2021
    Ashley ·
    • Flag
    Traditionally, it was the groom’s parents who paid for the dinner. My family keeps with that tradition, but not everyone’s family does. As others have said, unless they offer, you will pay for it yourselves.

    Bridal party gifts are usually given at the dinner. It’ll be one less thing to worry about the day of the wedding. You can give them at the very end as they are leaving if you don’t want it to be a big thing or have other people around who will not be getting gifts.
    Attire is set by location more than anything. We’re having a a barbecue at a brewery, so ours is casual. We aren’t sending out invites for it, but we are including it on our website. Only the people invited will see it on the schedule and have it as an RSVP question when they RSVP for the wedding. There’s a spot by every event for attire, so we wrote “casual” for rehearsal dinner so people can be sure. (I’m the one who usually overthinks what is appropriate to wear lol)
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