Rehearsal Dinner- who to invite (paying for it ourselves)

Pay for all or none. I would let everyone pay for themselves and give the bridal party a special gift. Also, so no one gets offended, give the bridal party gift cards way in advance and they can pay for their meal with that

This is incredibly rude and tacky. You pay for everyone, that includes bridal party and their significant others (whether they're married or not) and all family. Yes, it's expensive, but weddings, even destination, are expensive.

@Brittney you really should lurk before you give advice. What you're suggesting is so incredibly rude.

Everyone who attends your DW has spent money on a plane ticket, money on a hotel room for several days, money for food and drinks, and money on your gift. They did all of that for YOU. If your guests, the ones who have spent at least four figures to attend your DW, find out that you are hosting a rehearsal dinner that doesn't include them, they won't be happy. A DW is typically a small wedding, and those who attend it have used vacation time and more than four figures to be a part of your celebration. Everyone should be invited to any wedding related event, on your dime.

It actually boggles my mind that a couple could even consider excluding a single person who spent an unconventional amount of money to attend a DW -- a choice made by the couple -- from any event related to their wedding.

Definitely pay for all. Even more so because it is a destination wedding and all your guests are significantly paying more to be present on your big day. Even if it wasn't, everyone typically included is the bridal party, close family members, and out of town guests, and their meals are covered.

If you're hosting, you pay for all. Restaurant sounds like a great option-- work with them to set a fixed price menu so you know what you're in for!

First of all, you aren't entitled to anything so I don't think you should start this posting semi-ranting about the fact that you have to pay for your [completely optional] rehearsal/rehearsal dinner. Secondly, pay for everyone. I feel like you are trying to get back at the in-laws for not paying for the whole thing with this plan to not pay for them and honestly, that's not okay. Seriously. They are family. Grow up and start acting like it.

You should absolutely pay for them all. Do not have anyone pay. They've spent an enormous amount of time and money and vacation days that could be used on their own nuclear family to come and celebrate you. Pay for their dinner.

Hosting = paying for drinks and food for everyone invited. It does not need to be a fancy dinner, some people even do pizza. If I went to a rehearsal dinner and had to pay, that cash would come out of the gift I was planning to give the bride and groom.

You pay for a everyone who is invited; that should only be the BP and SO's, parents and possibly the officiant.

Trust me, no one will think paying for their own dinner is cool.

Pay for everyone. Ask the restaurant for different plating options. If they offer a buffet, that might be cheaper than per plate.

We have mostly out of state guests, so we decided to do an "I do, pizza & brew" party the night before. We're inviting everyone who traveled to come, since we can't imagine not spending extra time with those guests since the wedding day will be hectic and we may not get to hang out personally with everyone. We rented a huge pavilion at the park our wedding is at looking out over the ocean for only $100. I'm super excited about it and feel like it will be a party to kick off the wedding weekend.

Your rehearsal dinner does not need to be a fancy mini wedding, there are plenty of other ideas you can do so that you can include everyone!

Yeees to everything @Swin said !

Wow how much hate could people fit in a box?! Anyways, I'm not here to attack you just to give you a little advice. I come from a family that is so politically correct it bottles my mind till this day. As far as I know, a rehearsal dinner happens after the wedding party (those walking your wedding) have rehearsed for the big day ( that's why it's called rehearsal dinner). It should be where you give your thanks to all of the background craziness that's happened to make your wedding happen. This is also where you would give the wedding party their last gifts.

Now if you want to invite everyone you invited to the wedding to the rehearsal dinner then you must pay for it. You invited you pay. That's the bottom line for everything you invite people to.

I am having a destination wedding as well and I plan on taking my wedding party, officiant, and the in laws to the dinner and pay for them but no one else. That is not the purpose of a rehearsal dinner if we get into the logistics of things. I hope this helps you. But the idea of inviting everyone and only paying for a few was a little messed up. But hey, in the end it is your wedding.

We're doing something similar to what @FutureMrs.G said. We're having a laid back bonfire, pizza, and brew rehearsal dinner at my parents house (five minutes away from the church) with the BP, their SOs and the FH's immediate family members are invited if they'd like to come as well since they'll all be in from out of town. I didn't want a fancy RD, just something laid back for the night before all the craziness begins!

ETA: and we will most definitely be providing all the pizza and beer!

No one was rude. You asked for people's thoughts, and people were honest with you.

And you're fine to invite parents, bridal party plus their significant others. You really only need to invite the people who are involved with the wedding and have to attend the rehearsal.

We're paying for the rehearsal dinner too. And our guest list is so small we're just inviting everyone and calling it a Welcome Dinner. I would hate to exclude 5 or 10 people if we already have 25 at the dinner. It's practically a rounding error in terms of pricing lol.

Yikes...flagging OP. That's against the CGs and mean spirited.

Actually, now that I think about it...how many people are invited to the wedding?

You invite anyone who is involved in the ceremony. Officiant, parents, bridal party. Pay for everyone who is invited. It doesn't have to be anything fancy.

Jessica no one was rude to you. Everyone here is pointing out how rude it would be of you to pick and choose who you're paying for at an event you're hosting.

You also can't tell people not to comment.