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Super December 2018

Rehearsal Dinner Questions

kbrands, on December 14, 2017 at 6:15 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 19

I have an idea of what I feel the right answer will be based off other WW posts but still just wanted to ask. For the rehearsal dinner - do you invite significant others of the bridal party? We have a mix of fairly new gf/bf to married couples. Also, FH is having one of his cousins as a best man and I am having a cousin as a bridesmaid. Do we invite our other cousins (their siblings) and our aunt/uncle (their parents) to the rehearsal dinner as well?


Latest activity by Bride2B, on December 19, 2017 at 10:36 AM
  • A
    Just Said Yes January 2018
    amanda ·
    • Flag

    I would just invite the wedding party and their significant others. I'm personally not having one because it just adds too much to the budget. My wedding planner is fine with telling everyone where to go the day of.

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  • Kelly
    Dedicated December 2017
    Kelly ·
    • Flag

    The bridal party and the SO should be invited. Traditionally if you have family coming in from out of town you would extend the dinner invite to them as well.

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  • Mags
    Super July 2018
    Mags ·
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    We are inviting bridal party, all SO and immediate family (parents, siblings, our nieces and nephews) however, no aunts or uncles because we are at 35 people already. I think you should invite however many people your budget allows for while hosting them properly. SO should 100% be invited.

    • Reply
  • LillyBean17
    Master October 2017
    LillyBean17 ·
    • Flag

    You can't tell anyone to be nice.

    We invited the SOs only because they were all traveling from the West Coast. You don't need to invite them to the RD though.

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  • A. L.
    Master July 2017
    A. L. ·
    • Flag

    You need to invite SOs to the rehearsal dinner. Nobody wants have dinner the night before a wedding without their partner.

    You don't need to invite extra cousins/family unless you want to.

    • Reply
  • SuYa
    Master April 2017
    SuYa ·
    • Flag

    It depends how formal it is. We had a DW in Shanghai and did an informal one. Only Wedding Party was invited up to our suite for a quick walk through with my Wedding Planner. After we took the Wedding Party and their SO out to eat pizza. All our OOT guests, which includes the wedding party were staying at the same hotel, so this was super easy for us and not inconvenient for anyone. One of my BMs friends attended the rehearsal, but I didn't even notice at the time. She send me pictures that I love, so I am glad that she was there.

    • Reply
  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
    • Flag

    This post is a classic example of how it is so difficult for people to know the proper thing to do- directly contrasting answers.

    Etiquette dictates the following:

    If you have a rehearsal, you have a rehearsal dinner. Keep in mind that no one really needs a rehearsal, if there are concerns about the budget for a rehearsal dinner.

    Everyone with a role in the wedding AND their SO's should be invited to the RD. The guest list should include the parents of ring bearers and flower girls.

    Parents, siblings and grandparents of the bride and groom are normally included. If siblings are older and have children, the SO and their children are included.

    There is no requirement, nor is it a breach of etiquette, not to include out of town family or out of town guests of any sort. The primary purpose of the RD is to thank the wedding party and the parents for their support of the relationship and the wedding. A secondary purpose can be to ensure that both families have met before the wedding.

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    BP's and their dates/so's. Parents. Your officiant, if they'll be at the rehearsal.

    as Muriel wrote, no one needs a rehearsal and if you don't have one, you don't need a dinner.

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  • Elizabeth
    Master December 2016
    Elizabeth ·
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    " We invited the SOs only because they were all traveling from the West Coast. You don't need to invite them to the RD though."

    LilyBean what?? I'm assuming that was a typo. You need to invite SOs regardless of whether or not they traveled.

    • Reply
  • ambrok
    Master October 2017
    ambrok ·
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    We invited all WP's SOs, along with H's parents & nephew that was staying with us before the wedding (my parents have passed).

    ETA Our officiant declined RD

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  • Janel
    Super September 2018
    Janel ·
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    WP and their SOs, your officiant and immediate family, not other cousins or aunts and uncles.

    Some people invite OOT guests but that's not necessary. The Rehearsal dinner is for those who are rehearsing.

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  • EngineerInLove
    VIP September 2018
    EngineerInLove ·
    • Flag

    I was part of a tiered rehearsal dinner, dates were only invited for dessert and drinks, not the actual dinner. I'm still salty about it. Please invite dates and SOs.

    You don't need to invite everyone related to the wedding party though, some people will invite OOT guests but that is not a requirement.

    • Reply
  • Susan
    VIP December 2017
    Susan ·
    • Flag

    SO's/dates of the wedding party yes. However, unless the cousins in your party are minors and dobt have transportation without their parents, you don't need to invite their parents or siblings. You should invite parents and families of any children (RB, FG, Jr BM, Jr GM) in your wedding. (Ex the parents and siblings of both of our RB's were invited.)

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  • Brianna
    Savvy November 2018
    Brianna ·
    • Flag

    My FMIL said it's customary to invite the bridal party, immediate family (parents/siblings) and grandparents. If your wedding is out-of-state it would be nice to invite your bridal party's dates, as well, so they are not just sitting in the hotel room.

    ETA: I think bridal party SO's are always supposed to be invited, and especially if it's out of town.

    • Reply
  • GoodMOB
    April 2018
    GoodMOB ·
    • Flag

    Oh, boy. So, if the grandparents are supposed to be invited to the rehearsal dinner, but they are riding in a vehicle from 2 states away, with an aunt and uncle, who are their drivers for the wedding weekend, would you then also invite the aunt and uncle?

    And does your answer change if this is an aunt & uncle of the bride, and the groom's family is paying for the rehearsal dinner?

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  • Mrs.Todd
    Expert June 2018
    Mrs.Todd ·
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    I think it’s only right you invite the wedding party and their SO! But I have a couple of married couples in my WP so it’s kinda easy for me
    • Reply
  • V
    February 2018
    vicky ·
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    Hmm...grandparents? I think that is a more modern addition. Definitely the BP and their SO's. You are thanking them for the support they have shown you. It's an excellent time to give them their gifts. Yes, the parents, especially if they have contributed to the cost of the wedding.

    Old books did suggest inviting the out of town guests, but my experience is that they are typically happy to have a free evening.

    Also, traditionally, it was the groom's family who hosted this. In that case, it's up to the hosts as to who they do or do not want to include beyond the BP, SO's and parents.

    • Reply
  • Amy
    Dedicated December 2017
    Amy ·
    • Flag

    Yes, we are inviting SOs, but most of our WP is married so I wouldn't think of doing anything different. It gets a little stickier when it's a new BF/GF. But I still think you should, because sometimes weddings and wedding events can be the hardest things to be alone at, so it's nice to let everyone have their partner with them.

    We are also inviting OOT family but that's not a requirement by any means.

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  • Bride2B
    Expert June 2018
    Bride2B ·
    • Flag

    My understanding is that you need to invite the bridal party, their significant others, and all close family. Since I'm having a DW, this will include all family coming from out of town. My FILs are arranging/paying for this, and they have way more family coming, so it will be up to them who they ultimately invite from their family. My family list will max out at about 10. I'm guessing the dinner will be 30-40 people.

    • Reply

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