Rehearsal dinner no plus ones... Is this rude?

We are putting a guest for everyone attending our rehersal. My fh is in a wedding in july and i am invited also. I think its rude not to -jmo

We are only inviting immediate famliy and bridal party with SOs. We are going to a wedding FH is standing up in and I would feel slighted if I weren't invited to the rehearsal dinner (its also out of town). I guess it's really up to you - but I would suck it up.

I think it depends on who the plus one is for. If there's only two other people, suck it up. But if it's your brother's girlfriend of 2 weeks, no. Use your judgment

Don't neglect to invite someone's husband or their plus one especially if they'll be out of town. If I'm invited, and my husband's not, guess what? I'm not going. I'm not traveling alone and/or I'm not leaving him behind to fend for himself.

I invited SO's but my FH's best friend is single so I didnt give him a plus one. I want this dinner to thank everyone and give out gifts. I think that if you know they have an SO you need to invite.. especially out of town guests. However if single, don't give a plus one.

I should also note that FH and I were planning on paying for the rehearsal dinner entirely ourselves since his father passed, but FMIL recently offered over $300 towards the dinner. She's so sweet. I guess with that extra money would could afford people to bring their SO's if they choose to.

We would never not allow someone to bring their wife or husband. It was mostly for people who were just dating, but I wouldn't want anyone to feel left out. At the same time, I don't want a rehearsal dinner of 50+ guests just because I think that's way too many people!

Thanks everyone for your input and opinions! Much appreciated!

If the person has a guest at the wedding, that guest should be invited to the rehearsal as well.

If you invited Jane to the wedding single, then she doesn't get a guest to the rehearsal. If you invited Jane's boyfriend Greg, Greg gets invited to the rehearsal (IF Jane is).

Also remember you only need to invite wedding party and SOs and immediate family (and officiant, depending on situation. My officiant didnt come to rehearsal and so didnt come to dinner). OOT folks are nice to include if you can, but you don't need to. I'd cut them before wedding party SOs.

We invited the SO's of our RD guests. Otherwise, what are they supposed to do? Sit alone in the hotel room all evening?

We had about 50 people at our rehearsal dinner, haha, granted, it wasn't IDEAL for us, but it was the bare essential people and their dates for the wedding. If we limited it at all, we'd be knocking out people's dates and stuff for the wedding, and that's just not a great thing to do when people are coming from out of town.

If someone is traveling from OOT and they have a plus one who is invited to your wedding, you need to include that plus one for the rehearsal dinner. If they are local, I don't think it's a huge deal.

I agree with the majority here in that OOT plus one's (even if they have only been together for a couple of weeks) absolutely positively have to be invited...its poor etiquette and just plain rude not too.

If you're afraid that the rehearsal will get too out of hand, turn it into a mingle. Have the bridal party (and their spouses/plus ones) along with yours and his parents there for dinner, and then host a cocktail hour with some fingers food at a later time for the OOT'ers at the same place.

I totally know what you mean! Our rehearsal dinner has reached 40 people too!

Most people are getting plus ones (those traveling from out of state and especially those in the bridal party). However, my dad wanted me to invite one of Brian's aunts and a cousin who live only 40 minutes away ... and I cannot give them a plus one. There is just no room ! They are definitely getting a plus one for the wedding though. So you know what, fuck etiquette, there's only so much we can do, and I care too much about my parents (who are hosting in their backyard!) so I don't want to add like a ton more people.

Another option could be changing the location. Restaurants can get pricy, but what about hosting something at your house? That way you can invite the plus ones and not worry about the budget.

Most of the people in our rehearsal dinner are local. We're inviting people's spouses, but not girlfriends/boyfriends. I don't think our people will care though since it's just a take out meal directly after our rehearsal (so the +1's wouldn't be around anyway). We're not doing anything elaborate.

I think if someone is invited to bring a plus one to the wedding, then he/she should be able to bring a plus one to the rehearsal dinner. I know it's hard to fit in all the plus ones in any wedding event, but I do think they should be invited. When one of my friends got married, she didn't allow plus ones to the rehearsal dinner because she was paying for it herself and didn't want a huge tab. One of her bridesmaids was so mad that she left immediately after the rehearsal and didn't even come to the dinner.

@Ashley we've already paid the $450 fee to reserve the barn for the night before the wedding. Otherwise, I would have totally changed it to be more local!

Lots of good points from everyone. It also slipped my mind to invite my friend traveling from JAPAN to the rehearsal dinner! Glad I had this on the brain haha.

We had this issue so we strictly kept our rehearsal dinner to wedding party, their dates and our parents. If we had invited out of town guests as well we would have spent double, maybe even triple.

I'd give them a plus one if they have a SO. If they are just dating someone for like two weeks then no. I'd try and think of it from their prospective. If you were going to a rehearsal dinner and the bride didn't invite you or your husband because you're not married yet would you be offended?

As a mom of a future bride .. I'm going to add my 2 cents here (all I will have left after this wedding) ...

Everybody is invited .. but I only want to have to PAY for those in the party, plus parents of B & G, plus 2 other couples that are special to the B & G. Everybody else can pay their own way but are certainly welcome to come along.

My future father in law agreed to pay for significant others that are married/engaged/long term of the wedding party but not just random dates. I fully agree with this. Personally for me, the rehearsal dinner is an intimate event of people who love us and I’m not too comfortable spending intimate quality time with some rando I’ve never met nor heard of before the wedding. I’m already spending my wedding day (and paid A LOT since FH and I are paying for the entire wedding ourselves) for a lot of plus ones I’ve never met. I have been in several weddings and not once brought a random date to the rehearsal dinner. I fully agree that Spouses, fiancé’s and long term SO should be invited if both Bride and Groom have met/know of the plus one.