Rehearsal Dinner Issues

Maybe keep the dinner to the bridal party and immediate family and then have a cocktail party after for out of town guests? Honestly, in your situation I would just tell the tough. Or, if your in laws are paying for it, let them do whatever they want - it's on their tab.

I agree. The new etiquette is wedding industry b.s. in my opinion. I have been in weddings all of my life and the new out of towners thing is just to have you spend more money at a venue. Tell them no and if they don't want to make the drive to share in a special family event (your wedding) then to heck with em!

I personally think people in the wedding mom dad and grandaparent should be invited and thats it. I agree wedding ettiquite is BS do it the way you want to!

I have the same situation. I never heard of this rule. I will call it B.S. like everyone else. lol. And I am not having a "farewell brunch" either. A lot of the etiquette rules are industry driven. I would say no and move on with it.

I'm in the same boat since EVERYONE invited to my wedding is at least 2 hours away, if not out of state and out of country! If I invited all the out-of-towners, it would be a second wedding the night before. So I'm doing the same as you, just the wedding party, parents and grandparents.

Your FMIL's brother can think whatever he wants. You shouldn't invite him! The nerve of someone expecting a free meal like that. People are SO rude!!!

If you invite him, you'd just be opening a door. 3 hours is NOTHING!!

Is your FMIL paying for the dinner by any chance? If so, that's kind of a different story, but from the sound of your post it didn't seem like she was paying.

I agree. All of our guests are out of town as well. They will all be driving at least 3 hours or flying. We are limiting our rehearsal dinner to the bridal party and parents (our grandparents have passed). We are also forgoing the farewell brunch.

Now, the FMIL issue is tricky. Are they paying? If they are it's a little harder to say that they can't invite people, but I would still have your FH advocate for the smaller, more intimate rehearsal dinner. Maybe he could describe how many people would need to be included if a 3 hour drive is considered criteria for inclusion, and how nice it would be to have a dinner with fewer people.

I agree on the farewell brunch as well. I'm not paying $18 a head for folks to eat eggs and fruit before they leave!!!!!

I agree with a lot of the responses you have gotten. If it is that important, one thing you could do is keep your rehearsal dinner private like you want it but also have a get together beforehand. You guys could have everyone come over for drinks or throw a barbecue. This will keep costs way down,you will still have your rehearsal dinner the way it should be, & noone will be mad at you. I wish you thebest of luck!

-Skye

I personally think that the rehearsal dinner is just that, a dinner to celebrate the wedding party... it is for those who are directly INVOLVED in the wedding, not every person your inviting. If you wanted to invite all of your out of town guests (which I gather you do not) then you could do something along the lines of a "Welcome Dinner". I find it extremely uncalled for and even a little rude that people would expect to invited to the rehearsal dinner because they have to travel to get to your wedding!!! That makes no sense to me!!! My mom wanted to invite her brother to the rehearsal dinner but then we would have to invite every other aunt and uncle and it would just get out of hand... the rehearsal dinner is not supposed to be another wedding!!! Our rehearsal dinner is basically our wedding party and their dates (if they have them) our parents and our grandparents... we plan on doing our bridal party gifts that night and I would feel weird doing that in front of a large crowd!!