Rehearsal Dinner Invite

Immediate family is typically always invited to the rehearsal dinner.

I would invite them. They are immediate family and should be invited.

View Quoted Comment Thanks! Guess I am annoyed that she told me and didn’t ask. She’s been trying to plan this as her wedding since the start. So I get a little frustrated when she tries to talk wedding with me😅

You should invite them. Normally you invite immediate family like the others have said.

I would invite them. Like PPs said, usually immediate family is invited and since your FSILs live far away your FMIL and perhaps FS is looking forward to seeing them for the weekend, not just during the wedding day. We invited wedding party (and their plus ones), the officiant, immediate family and some close family like cousins, aunts and uncles to come to dinner. It made for a larger group but we really appreciated spending extra time with close friends and family before the wedding day when you’re running around saying hi to everyone!

It’s pretty standard for immediate family to attend the rehearsal dinner, especially if yours is invited too I’d be pretty upset if I were them and wasn’t invited! Especially since they’re traveling they’ll want to spend more time with their brother and mom... and you! I’d think this would be a great opportunity for you to spend time with them too, they’re going to be your family!

It is quite rude of her to tell you she, a guest at your dinner, not the hostess, has invited anybody. If you are giving the dinner, your choice. If someone else is giving the dinner, and you accept their offer, they need to include all your WP who will be able to come, and anyone participating in the rehearsal itself . If it is a dinner party ( not pizza shop etc.) with all that goes with it, that is usually for SO of participation if they choose to come. But with siblings, aunts, cousins, grandparents, it is strictly optional to have any not in the wedding party. Very, very few people I know, or have been at RDs of, invite siblings, aunts, or uncles, unless they are helping host the meal, or else are all in a condo or hotel , not local people coming from home, or those traveling on wedding day. Grandparents, if local, are much more common. If your groom had his sisters in WP, it would be different. This is always for participants of the rehearsal who want to come to dinner, their option. And only for other family, godparents, or people traveling a great distance, if you want it that way. If other family are in town because the rehearsal and RD are the day before the wedding ( not midweek at a local place) then perhaps the sisters would like to make plans, or invite out, family or friends they have not seen recently, and it is okay to do that. Not in competition with your dinner, which is not a family reunion.

View Quoted Comment It very much depends on the wedding. If reasonably local to most family and friends, driving, so they are not traveling a day before the wedding ( only wedding morning) , many people do not invite all family. For venues and Churches which only have rehearsals Mon thru Thurs, day or evening, lots of family are often not invited if not participating. If the RD is a sit down dinner or buffet in a home, and WP, SO, and Parents are 12-16 people or less, usually siblings and SO not WO would not be invited if they pushed the numbers higher than available seats at the home. And siblings not needed for the rehearsal would rarely drive an hour or more to a one hour RD, as the OP says she is having, only to return home. 2-4 hours travel for an hour meal? You over generalize when you say most people invite all immediate family. Lots of people are not invited to short or less formal RD, or where the expense would mean 20-30 in a restaurant, not a home cooked meal for 10-16 or so. Many people spend $150 or less for home RD. If it pushes numbers up because B & G have 4-10 siblings each with an SO, forcing a restaurant meal , you can be talking a $500 - $2500 bill, when keeping it home, and smaller ( with only participants and SO) would have been reasonable. ... TV and the wedding industry make people think a lot is required that never has been. Brides should not be told it is necessary to do something that is not required, and made to think that this huge ( for some) expense is required. RD are optional. How many guests, home size or restaurant, brief snack or ela orate dinner, all are host and couple's choice. ... We had no RD. No rehearsal, just a ten minute, you go here, you go... briefing. But if we had, we would never have considered our 20 siblings plus their 17 SO. With a wedding party of 9 inc us, plus 4 parents. Away from home, a restaurant meal for that many would cost so much we would have to skip a photographer. Or not serve any liquor at the wedding. People should invite whom they want, which often is not all immediate family.

View Quoted Comment I was only inviting my one sister and it’s because she is my MOH. I haven’t even thought of invites to the rehearsal dinner yet but just thought it was rude of her to tell me they were invited instead of asking.


My FSILs have not been the nicest to me over the past few years. I was curious what everyone else would do.

View Quoted Comment I thought it was kind of rude too. I never even thought about rehearsal dinners yet. My venue doesn’t let me book the date until 90 days out. I know that I am inviting my family but they all have a part of the wedding. It’s not like I’m inviting them just to invite. My uncles are electricians so they are doing lights. My moms a interior decorator so she’s decorating for us.


His family is small and doesn’t have any uncles/aunts. My FSILs have not been the nicest to me over the years. But I dont know if I should feel bad about not inviting them but what would they do besides stand around, you know?

View Quoted Comment A lot of venues, and Churches, do not allow any non-participants at the rehearsal itself, except if a not participant ( parent or grand) is paying the bill. It increases their liability for extra people, and causes extra maintenance, damage, even parking issues and costs. So non participating siblings, and everyone's SO, are often not allowed in. Insurance venues and Churches have for non event days just does not cover extra with no reason to be there. The sister would likely not travel to the venue. And you are right, have nothing to do. For a one hour dinner , which you have chosen to be about the wedding participants. Such a small family would not add much cost. But you are the hosts. All immediate family is not a requirement. And non hosts, guests, no matter if family or not, do not invite people to other people's parties, functions, activity groups. And FMIL is an adult and should know this. Why don't you invite 4 out of town guests to stay with her for the wedding? Oh, right, you have good manners, and would never think to invite others to her hospitality. 🤗

View Quoted Comment Of course there’s exceptions like that, but in this situation it does not seem like she’s referring to 20 people lol, sounds like he only has 2 sisters? And the fact that her siblings would be included and not his is the main issue

View Quoted Comment Got it, I mean I was just saying this as an “in general” sort of thing, of course everyone’s situations are different! How does your FH feel about it? Does he want them there?

View Quoted Comment He honestly said he doesn’t care. He doesn’t have the best relationship if them either. I still have 8 months so I will probably sleep on it. Their relationship may improve between now and then!

I would invite them, and any other immediate family that may be missing, for that matter.

View Quoted Comment What is the issue? Her siblings are participants. He had every possiblity of having his sisters in his wedding party, and did not choose to. On wedding day, her sibs will be in the wedding. His will be guests. They need to accept that. Or MIL does. Very often one sibling or more from one side is in a wedding party. That does not mean all other siblings ( and SO) must be in everything that the WP is. Just because some siblings are. These sisters are wedding guests. It is not up to FMIL to decide against her son's choice not to have them by his side, or to usurp the host's right to restrict the rehearsal dinner to participants. ... We are not talking to my 4 year olds, who don't understand the if one brother or sister is chosen for a role, or invited somewhere, all brothers and sisters can come along. The sisters are adults, or near adulthood. They know they are guests at the wedding. While some siblings are participants. 2different roles to play at the wedding. They are invited to guest things. WP to WP things , in this case, rehearsal and dinner. Her sibs went shopping for wedding party clothes Does that mean his sisters, should have been included to tag along, just so all siblings could have equal opportunities? Not that I ever heard of. Rehearsal participants, inc some sibs, are invited to this RD. Not up to FMIL to decide anything. B and G will decide, between now and time to make reservations for the wedding. It is not about, if one sibling goes, everyone does. It is about the FMIL making decisions and issuing invitations about/for things that only the Couple, who are the hosts, get to decide. Non-hosting parents who issue invitations to anyone, because they want to, are rudely usurpung the rights of the hosting B and G. Mothers and mothers in law should never take over decisions from the hosts, or from the Bride and Groom. Period. Boundaries.

View Quoted Comment

Makes sense! I'm mostly just saying they may be upset if they arent invited to join... if you don't get along with them very well and your FH doesnt care, then you may be ok with them being upset about it or just not care hahah I was just saying what's *generally* done from what I've heard about/experienced and why that may be what your FMIL is expecting, but that doesn't mean you necessarily have to follow it.

I hope it all works out for you guys!!

If she's not paying, she doesn't get to invite people. Your fiancé is going to have to set some boundaries for her, or she'll be invading your decisions for the rest of your life.

I can't imagine not inviting your fiance's sisters to the rehearsal dinner?