Rehearsal dinner guest list

We are having a DW and inviting everyone to the rehearsal dinner. I have been to multiple out of town weddings where the only invitees to the rehearsal dinner were the following:

- Immediate family of both the bride and groom (sometimes there were aunts/uncles/cousins, other times not)

- Bridal party

- Officiant (unless it's was a Catholic wedding, I've never seen a priest attend one, but that could just be my experience)

- Any readers or ushers required to be at the rehearsal

- SOs of all of the above

Hope that helps!

Edit: I think it's a nice gesture to invite out of town guests, but I would talk to your FILs since they are paying!

We are including immediate family, bridal party and officiant. We are going to have a bonfire on the beach after the rehearsal dinner and inviting the out of town guests and aunts,uncles, cousins, etc.

Personally, I side with your FMIL. Just because the week of is so hectic and busy, it's best to keep the rehearsal dinner small and casual. But it's really up to you.

"FMIL, I was wanting to invite our out of town guests and am willing to pay for them. What are your ideas?"

What Sarah said... IF I'd had a rehersal, and a dinner, I would have done the WP and their families (SOs and the kids) and the immediate family, their SOs and kids. We had our kids at the wedding (and in the wedding) along with my DH's God Daughter being our FG, so kids were welcome at all aspects of our wedding as well.

The RD shouldn't be a mini wedding; it should be casual, short and small; it's just a thank you to your BP and a time to give gifts to them. It should also not compete with the wedding, (since it's traditionally, but not always, hosted by the family of the groom).

As for the officiant, many do not do rehearsals and if that's the case, they don't get invited.

I agree with PP. We are not inviting all oot guests, pretty much just those involved in the ceremony listed above, plus FMILs brother and SIL who are OOT.

I guess it would depend on how many OOT guests you have, your FILs may prefer a more intimate rehearsal dinner if that's what they are used to.

I'm having the opposite problem as OP. FFIL offered to pay and thinks all out of town guests should be invited, which is about half the wedding guest list and feels like way too many people.

Mine will be close family and out of town guest( we won't have many) and our bridal party. They will not be bringing there sos. For dinner rehearsal!

Haha yeah @MelissaErin I guess there just isn't really an etiquette consensus on this? Maybe it varies by region?

I think you should follow their lead since they are paying for it. We are paying for ours and decided to keep it to the basics with invites: the wedding party, their SOs, parents, officiant/uncle. Not including siblings and other relatives or out-of-towners...we'll celebrate tomorrow...

I should add that my officiant is one of my friends so he is included in the RD along with his wofe and son. If it was someone I hired I would not invite him/her.

@erin wood if you have a rehearsal that requires your officiant to be there, you must invite them. Lots don't even come to the rehearsal dinner, but it's so rude to not invite the officiant.

We're doing a rehearsal dinner with just family, wedding party and their SOs, and the officiant and his wife. After the rehearsal dinner we've invited all guests who are in town that night to join us for a welcome reception where we'll be footing the bill for drinks. This plan works out best for us!

For us, OOT guests are not invited to the RD unless they're in the party, because that would be more than half of the wedding

Pretty much 80% of our guests were out of towners.... so if we'd invited them to the rehearsal dinner, it'd be practically as large as our wedding. We picked a fun hotel in a fun area with lots to do nearby. Everyone told us they loved the hotel and the area and had a great time. No one seemed to mind not being invited to the RD even though they traveled from out of town.

We're planning on doing a welcome dinner - our bridal party is small (just BM & MOH really) so we don't need a formal rehearsal, or dinner with just our families which is what it would be.

It's culturally standard for my FH's family to have big welcome parties, and for the host to feed/entertain/host everyone who is in town. So, that's what we're doing. It will be my immediate family, and 1 cousin from out of town, and his ENTIRE family, and lots of his guests. They are mostly out of town friends who may be in the night before - and it's a holiday, so we might as well do it all together... if FMIL is happy, and FH is happy - I'm cool with it.

Almost all of my family/friends will be coming from out of state, and lots of college friends who are a couple hour drive away. We can't realistically host very single guest for rehearsal dinner so right now our guest list will just be wedding party, immediate family, officiant and SO's. Our plan is to rehearse from 5-6. Dinner fro. 6-8. For all the other guests we plan to have a welcome cocktail hour from 8-10 (not hosted) just inviting everyone to grab a drink at one of the hotel bars, meet other guests, and give us a chance to say hi to all our friends and family briefly before the wedding. FI and I hang out for about an hour and head home. I will be putting this info on welcome cards and wedding website.

We're having us, the bridal party (and their SOs), parents, grandparents, out of town guests, and other close family that has helped with the wedding. We have about 30-35 people going.

We did immediate family, bridal party and their families and sponsors (Filipino thing). No OOT guests for us. We already had 55 people.

Oops double post!