Rehearsal Dinner guest list

Usually immediate family is invited either way, so just because its your brothers should not make a difference

We are doing immediate family, bridal parties and a guest for each, and then the people doing readings and their plus ones/ family. One of our readers has 2 kids we are allowing to come since my nieces are the same age and they are in the bridal party. We are also doing FH aunt and uncle since they are from far away. FMIL offered to have any other out of town guests but we don't have any that will be coming the day before.

I think typically the BP gets a plus one but everyone is different. If you want to add more people it sounds like you have to pay.

Generally speaking, it's considered rude not invite significant others. If anyone in your bridal party is in a relationship, that S/O should be included in the invite to the RD. But, your FMIL is the host, and it sounds like she's being pretty strict on the guest list. So pick your battles. How many brothers do you have? How many guests would it add to invite your brothers and wives? I would probably talk to her about adding them, assuming it's like 4 or 5 people.

We are inviting parents, siblings, bridal party, and grandparents to the RD. FMIL is hosting and we agreed to keep it under 30 people. The only people that *have* to be invited to the RD are people involved in the rehearsal.

The bridal party should all be allowed to bring their SOs that are invited to the wedding. If you didn't give them a +1 to the wedding because they are truly single, they don't need one for rehearsal.

If your brothers aren't immediate family (?) then I'd just not invite either, probably. If they are, they should both be invited (with their wives). It should be anyone who participates in the rehearsal (if you have readers, for example), your officiant IF they are more than a vendor to you (childhood church pastor that watched you grow up, for example), wedding Party +SOs, and immediate family.

Parents grandparents and siblings of Bride and Groom, Bridal Party and their SOs. The end.

@sarahdell...thats what I thought...I guess I can just pay for the people that were not included. Thank you ladies for your feedback!

With the bridal party and their SOs, immediate families, a few OOT guests and our officiant we are at 55 people.

So I went to an out of town wedding where my fiancé was in the wedding. He said that the rehearsal dinner was for the bridal party which translates to me as I wasn't invited. So I took my butt to restaurant and I ate early. Apparently after I left the hotel to dine at the restaurant in the hotel....they called my FH to tell him to bring me. Frankly I don't like being an after thought but I lived. At the reception the set up of course was the bridal party had their own table. Mostly the folks in the bridal party were couples/husband and wives. I sat with strangers.

The rehearsal is for the people who come to the rehearsal. That's the point of it. So it usually includes bridal party and their SOs, parents, officiant and their SO, and any guests coming in from out of town. The out of towners may not come to the rehearsal, but it's polite to feed them. Inclusion of immediate family members is not necessary if they don't need to be at the rehearsal, but could be included if you choose.

You could have the opposite problem - my FMIL wants to invite over 100 people to our rehearsal!

My FMIL is hosting ours as well. And their tradition is the bridal party, immediate family, and out of town guests. But, because most of the out of town guests are exclusively his family, we sat down and talked with his parents about making sure some of my important family would be there as well, because a wedding is a family affair of course, ha. In the grand scheme of things it was only like 10 people we were adding to include some more of my family. And when they realized that FH and I were unhappy with the original plan and she didn't want to worry about offending anyone, she was more than happy to oblige. We did, however, end up inviting a few extra people to the ceremony and reception that his parents wanted as kind of a compromise for the rehearsal.

All that said, sometimes all it takes is a quick 10 minute tactful conversation letting your FMIL know how you (and presumably your FH) feel. A lot of times people aren't always in tune to someone else's feelings on things, and once they are brought to light, things can usually be resolved fairly quickly. So just let her know how you feel.

@Sam all my family is coming from Texas (my hometown) and I agreed to have the wedding in AZ because of mutual friends between my FH and I. I just feel a little bad not including my brothers given that they are travelling and theyre not part of the wedding party...but I feel bad asking to add guests...thats why Im thinking of just offering to pay for the extra guests

Im not sure of the rule of this but im inviting parents grandparents and bridal party

I always thought the rule was bridal party, immediate family, all of their significant others, and any OOT (out of town) guests.

Bridal party and immediate family (and their SO's) are invited to the rehearsal dinner. Keep in mind they are not bringing a date (plus one), rehearsal dinner is for someone they are in a serious relationship with (gf/bf/fiance/husband/wife) So absolutely yes, your brothers and their wives should be invited. Grandparents are optional. OOT guests *can* be invited but not necessary - we are not inviting them to our rehearsal dinner, otherwise it would be a second reception lol.

Wait why should bridal parties SO's be invited if they don't have to be at rehearsal? Wouldn't that be boring for them? FMIL is paying for ours as well and she said parents, bridal party and that's it. Should I tell her this is wrong?

Bridal party (and their SO's), parents, siblings (and their SO's), grandparents (are usually invited here), and if there are only a few OOT wedding guests they can be invited but it's not necessary.

To echo the other ladies: Bridal party, the immediate family of the bride and groom (includes parents, siblings, and siblings' significant others), and the officiant are invited. Grandparents and out of town guests are sometimes included.

We will be doing the wedding party, our parents, siblings, and grandparents. Our guest list is largely OOT guests, so we will not be inviting them, otherwise it would be a second wedding. We are inviting them to a social period after the dinner where they can come for drinks or a meal if they want to socialize, but that cost would be on them, not us.

IMO, your brothers are your immediate family and should automatically be included on the guest list. You shouldn't have to add your family as an "extra guest." It sounds like it is important to you to have them there, and since your wedding is about your two families becoming one, your FMIL should (hopefully) be receptive to having your family there.