Rehearsal Dinner & Booze Question

Thanks everyone, I think my rehearsal dinner spot may only have beer... I am going to check to see if they do pitchers. We are doing a bbq place that is really delicious and laid back. Everyone is pumped up to not have to dress up haha. I appreciate all the comments and feedback, I definitely want to take care of my guests.

We held our rehearsal dinner at an Italian restaurant. We ordered pizzas and pitchers of beer then people were welcome to order other food and drinks under our name. People ordered wine and sangria if they didn't like beer.

Son's rehearsal dinner was at our home on the patio, catered BBQ and Pizza, we only served soft drinks and beer but we didn't have any wine drinkers. We do have a bar downstairs and I think sons and maybe a couple of others went down and made a few drinks on their own. I just didn't think about setting up a bar on the patio with the food etc, I'm not a drinker so I usually have to be reminded about providing alcohol. And it seemed just fine, plus over half the attendees were children, so I'm not sure if I had thought about it if I would have put it "out".

We were planning on having a grill out at venue following the rehearsal and we're not supposed to bring our own alcohol into the property so i wasn't sure how to go about this either...

Your rehearsal dinner is a thank you to your wedding party. Please host them properly!!!

Always provide alcohol!

At the very least, offer them beer and wine (although, honestly, I'm an advocate of hosting whatever they want from the bar -- liquor included).

Remember, this is a VIP party, and a party includes alcohol; in fact it's the first refreshment a server offers a customer. Keep the guest list within reason -- VIPS and spouses/significant others only, and it shouldn't break the bank.

We are not providing alcohol for ours. I think it depends. For us, none of us really drink so it's not a big deal.

It is a big deal.

Listen, your RD shouldn't be another wedding. It should be short, sweet, a little casual meal and a couple of beers/glasses of wine and be done with it.

A cash bar doesn't just suddenly become etiquette-approved because it's a rehearsal dinner and not a wedding. For any event you invite people to, you are responsible for providing food and beverages. If your guests enjoy a drink with dinner, you should at least offer beer and wine at the RD. It's pretty cheap to just offer soft drinks.

Most people prefer to have a few drinks with dinner. Our WP spent money on attire and parties so we are buying them drinks at the RD. I'll personally want a few to help me relax, and our friends and families are drinkers as well.

There may be some speeches and toasts -- even at the rehearsal dinner. And you'll be thanking your wedding party and parents.

Keep the evening short so they are not drinking until all hours and then hungover the next day.

I think that having a cash bar is poor etiquette. As to no alcohol, I would ask, do most of your friends and relatives have a drink when they go out? If most of your family/friends do not drink, for religious or other reasons, you should think about it. and BTW, I don't call just having wine/beer being cheap, in my crowd, that is the most people have.

I'd be a little thrown off at first but as long as I could purchase my own I guess it wouldn't be awful.

We didn't have anything on the tables or anything like that but our RD was at a restaurant/pub that clearly served alcohol and so most of our guests ordered a drink or several (I certainly needed one after the stress of the day). They offered to set up a limited menu but honestly I didn't think it would save much and I wanted everyone to have what they wanted so everyone just ordered as they normally would for a night out and then it was simply all on one tab. Easy. There were a couple people (literally like 2-3) there who hadn't done anything for the wedding and just happened to be in town early but they are still family so NBD and everyone else had either done a ton to help us or had chipped in something (be it money, decor items, etc). so we of course thought it was only right to give them a really nice meal and some fun in addition to the wedding the next day.

Also I love how you said in your OP "we are planning on including soft drinks & water".

Water? Water is always free at every restaurant. Let's not pretend that this is something you are providing. It's water.

You are providing soft drinks only.

I don't think it's bad etiquette at all! Always remember, this is YOUR DAY, not theirs. Regardless of no alcohol, they are celebrating you! And they shouldn't have to get drunk (just yet) to do that :-) Maybe you can provide like a cute sign explaining why? You could state the drinks you have, and then at the end maybe add like, "more fun to come! Alcohol to be served at our wedding" or something like that.

A cash bar for those who have donated time and money to be a part of your vision? Nice.

Hayley... more bad advice... please stop and lurk. And btw... no cute sign to explain why will help. If anything, it will only hurt the situation.

No one listen to Hayley.