Rehearsal Dinner & Booze Question

Oh Hayley that is such an ugly and unfortunate attitude. I hope you take the time to lurk and read more here.

Hayley, no. It's not just your day when other people are giving time and energy to your rehearsal. To thank them, a rehearsal dinner is held. You're supposed to be hosting it. So host properly! This is includes providing drinks.

I have no comment on the etiquette part but if I was the server working your group for the RD, I would be thinking a big old fuck that to put everything on one tab and then have like 6-10 other tickets just for drinks and it would be very annoying.

Mine will be at a restaurant, so whatever they have on the menu people can order.

Yes, I think it is bad etiquette to not provide drinks especially alcoholic drinks when you know your guests drink.

I'm providing beer and wine, but I will not be drinking any of it personally, because I don't want to bloat for the wedding. All my drinking will be done at the reception. But I'm from Louisiana and I'm not a monster, so booze for my people. Always.

Hell, I'm throwing a birthday party for FH next month, and we're providing beer and wine for THAT. Parties suck without alcohol.

Definitely include some form of alcohol at the rehearsal dinner. As Celia said, it can be as simple as beer and wine.

Your guests will appreciate it and remember if you do, or do not, host them properly.

My daughters MIL put on the RD. She paid for the dinner and drinks for everyone....except my ex-husband, his wife, my sister and me. We had to pay our own tab. It was a major snub and one that all four of us remember, six years later. She drank plenty of liquor on our dime, the next night.

Host your guests properly. Have something other than soft drinks and water.

That made my jaw drop, Kathy. How incredibly nasty.

Hayley, the whole purpose of the RD is to thank your VIPs for the time and money they have put into your wedding. Your RD is definitely their day, not yours. Thank them properly.

Wow Kathy! That is absolutely awful of your daughter's MIL. I can't imagine being so rude. That type of thing can damage relationships permanently.

AlwaysMs, is made our jaws drop too. My ex was a gentleman and picked up out tab.

Hayley, your advice is incorrect. The RD is held to thank those who are part of the wedding party. You do not thank someone by making them "bring their own gift", in this case buy their own drinks.

The thought of a "cute sign" is not a good one.Also, what makes you think that just because alcohol will be served, people are planning to get drunk? I drink wine, daily, and do not get drunk.

Did you guys manage to repair that relationship? This is always my point about rude behavior at weddings- it effects relationships long term.

AlwaysMs, no. We stay as far away from my daughters MIL as possible.

We are from different walks of life, which is what I believe caused her tantrums. She threw a few during the planning process. She also put the four of us at a separate table for dinner. At least the four of us had fun in our corner and entertained ourselves. :-)

There was a pretty view....the Columbia River.

I'm not sure about etiquette, but I was going to provide beer and wine and see if guests wanted anything else. Most of my relative will be happy with beer/wine so I don't think it will be a big deal. We'll see though.

We did not include alcohol for our rehearsal dinner. My new inlaws did not have a big budget, so that had to go. I was thankful they were willing to pay for the food. I don't think it's poor etiquette at all. Every family has different financial situations and your guests should be respectful of that.

We are not including alcohol at our rehearsal dinner. Everybody can drink all they want on the wedding day at the open bar.

This just came up this week for us. FH's dad and stepmom are paying for rehearsal dinner at a casual Italian chain restaurant. FH told me that since wine is $25/bottle there, that they're just going to buy 4-5 bottles of wine and anything more than that, people can pay for themselves. Since we're going to have around 40 people at the dinner, that would only be enough for about half our guests to have one glass of wine. I told FH absolutely not, that I will bring $200-$300 cash myself that night to cover additional wine. FH was kinda weird about it, but I explained that you do not invite people to a dinner and then have them pay for any part of it.

So glad to have so much input on this. Thank you everyone, definitely going to make sure the guests are 100% taken care of, alcohol and all.

View Quoted Comment I feel the same way- for the wedding I think providing alcohol is the way to go, but for my rehearsal dinner at least it just doesn’t seem super necessary? I’m not opposed to it, but I just feel like the family coming wouldn’t drink anyways, and I don’t really want it to be some big crazy event (just a lowkey dinner) so I don’t see how it’s necessary. I’m not sure yet what I’ll do, but I think it’s unreasonable to expect every party/event you attend as an adult to provide you with alcohol