Rehearsal Dinner Argument

I would say it seems far but honestly I'd still drive that far because it's for the rehearsal dinner.

Thankfully we got really good pricing from a restaurant that's about 20 minutes from our venue otherwise we would be in the same boat as you!

She doesn't have to go to the dinner. She can go where ever she wants after rehearsal.

I think if your friend wants to do it as a gift, I'd accept it for several reasons.

1. It's your friend and they want to take care of you too. Sometimes people do not know what to give as a "wedding gift" but help financially, (such as rehearsal) is a great idea. [My FH brother is doing ours for us].

2. It is selfish about the drive. Even though we choose a local venue, the rehearsal WILL BE somewhere away from it. It may be 30 minutes from my home, but so is everything else in the Denver Metro Area. Rehearsal's should be somewhat smaller than the wedding anyways and with how early you're doing yours, it shouldn't be an issue nor should it go into late hours of the evening.

3. You've got guests coming from everywhere. One person verses what YOU want to do for YOUR wedding.... We have people flying in from Florida/Georgia, the Carolina's and from Texas. For most it will be a "vacation" until the day of and wouldn't mind sight seeing.

Rule of thumb, do not allow someone else to ruin your day. Had to say something to my own mother because my ideas for our wedding wasn't what she pictured. Explaining how I felt and telling her to back off was a little difficult, but she understood. Yours will either be there or not. Just cannot take personal offense if she doesn't make the dinner if she does not want to drive 45 minutes. make sense?

View Quoted Comment Yes! Makes total sense. Thanks for your advice, it makes me feel a lot better to know that you can relate to my situation. Thank you

View Quoted Comment No worries! Just remember it's a day you wanna remember, not exactly to plan but to plan....if that's easy ha!

Allyson--I agree with your OP statements. Not only is it selfish but she is also being unwise about the money in this situation. My advice would be to accept your friends gracious offer and arrange a ride for her to and from the RD--other than you and FH. You don't need the stress of "hearing about it" all the way there and back!!

I think that is a very generous gift and offer from your dear friend. 45 min does seem like it would deter people. On the bright side its a friends house, not a venue or restaurant. Therefore there will be no time limit! (to an extent) People could come and go as they please - stay and celebrate, laugh with each other. I say take her up on it!

Maybe a nice compromise could be having the rehearsal dinner venue somewhere closer to the wedding venue and your friend can still pay for the caterer as her gift to you (which is REALLY nice!) You could split the cost of renting a place closer to the rehearsal with your friend (or ask Mum to help?) I do agree with Mom a bit (sorry) that 45 minutes is too far to ask your wedding party and out of town guests to drive for dinner. Good luck!

Wow. That is a great friend

I think it's super gracious of your friend to host! And a little annoying your mom is the only one making a stink. However, how many people are attending? Any chance you can help with transportation there and back?

As someone that has gone to out of town weddings, and is flying to one in October, I try my HARDEST not to rent a car b/c I don't want to spend the money and I HATE driving. That could be just me. It would be just as gracious of you to try to help with transportation. But if someone decides to opt out based on distance, that's on them, and hopefully you would be understanding. Have mom ride with you guys, or carpool with someone. Problem solved!

HAVE IT AT YOUR FRIEND'S HOUSE!!! That is one of the best gifts ever! Very thoughtful of your friend (KUDOS). Mom can ride with someone or just drive there plus like you said she didn't help not to be rude.