Rehearsal Dinner Argument

I would take your friend up on there offer .... 45minutes is nothing tell your mom to suck it up

As a bride who is having someone pay for the rehearsal dinner completely, I am so glad that’s one less thing to plan and worry about. I’m sorry your mom thinks 45 min away is too far, to me that’s not a big deal at all, especially because it’s not on the same day as the wedding! And what a HUGE gift your friend is undertaking.

I once drove two and half hours to go out for pizza (leaving at 3) and coming home that same night, so......no problem for me.

If your mom continues to vent, tell her that she can spring for a dinner closer to home.

Set up another driver for your mom, whether a guest or an Uber or cab service. Tell her, as MOB she is not necessary for a rehearsal. And if she finds the drive too much, and does not want an arranged ride, stay home . It is an optional party. And your friend is being thoughtful and kind offering to do this. So Mom can be agreeable and go, or leave the rehearsal dinner to the wedding party, and not go . But don't turn down this dinner because she is being a PITA. Not an option .

Get your mother an Uber! She will be fine...

That's such a good offer to pass up. Maybe if you could ask one of your friends or family who is going as well to drive her or she carpoo with someone to the venue maybe that would help.
I'm sorry this is annoying you.

Get a bus and provide transportation

How far is the venue & your friend's house from where people are staying? That would be more important to me, the full round trip rather than just the venue to the house. That does seem far for me though, farther than any rehearsal dinner I've heard of. And I'm assuming significant others and kids would need to be at the rehearsal since families would drive together.

Shoot, my rehearsal dinner will be 45 min to an hour away. Sorry mom, not your decision. She will get over it. Also, “Hey mom, why don’t you carpool with someone?”, maybe someone on town she doesn’t get to see often

I would say take your friend up on her offer. She was beyond generous to offer to host your rehearsal dinner, plus it save you some money (as we all know wedding planning is expensive). I understand no one wants to drive 45 minutes, but I would let everyone know ahead of time so they can just decide if they want to come or not. But if anyone wants it closer I would expect them to hel pay for it, just in my opinion. But Congrats love ☺️

My opinion. Yes, I feel that 45 minutes is far To drive after completing a rehearsal.... Especially depending on the time and also whether they have to drive 45 minutes to get back to the hotel near the venue. Additionally, the rehearsal dinner is always “free meal” for guests. So that’s not really a perk.

I just read that your guests are coming from out of town too? Eek. Since they’re coming from out of town, I’d be more interested in making things easier and convenient for my guests instead of for myself. I actually don’t think it’s your mom who’s the one that’s being selfish.

Honestly, if you are paying for everything and your mom is not contributing financially then nope she does not get a say in it. 45 minutes is not bad if it was over an hour THEN I could understand but 45 mins for me a normal commute from work for me and I also live in LV. If people have a huge problem with it then carpool or something like that. I would take your friends to offer because that is SUPER nice of them doing it for you! That's my opinion.

View Quoted Comment Hi! I honestly do not find it “selfish” at all that I want to choose an option that saves thousands of dollars when I am paying for a wedding by myself. I suppose to someone that has that kind of money it wouldn’t be an issue in their eyes, but to a lot of people, that’s a large sum. I actually didn’t ask for an opinion on if I was being selfish, so you’re just being hurtful! Thanks!

No pay, no say. I while it is a little bit of a drive, I'd probably do the same. How gracious of your friend.

Maybe it’s because I grew up in a sparsely populated state and had to drive a minimum of 30 minutes to get anywhere useful, but 45 minutes seems like nothing, and certainly worth saving $1500ish in my opinion. I live near Denver now, and I can see how people used to living in more of a densely populated city environment might hear anything over 10 minutes and flip, but 45 minutes really isn’t that bad.

I think that is extremely generous of your friend and I would take her up on it

View Quoted Comment Relax. It’ll be OK. LOL! 😂 Remember, when you openly post on a public forum, full of strangers from all across the country, with different backgrounds and personalities... unfortunately everyone’s not going to agree with you. But it sounds like your mind was already made up about the dinner at your friends’s house and not actually open to other thoughts to consider.

Nothing was meant to be hurtful. It was actually meant to be considerate of your guests who are already traveling to attend your wedding. Yes, hosting a wedding means spending money (that’s why so many couples simply go to the Justice of the Peace). Also, if you’ve ever experienced driving in an unfamiliar location, 45 minutes feels more like an hour because you have no idea where you’re going.... Are you want to do is get there.


I replied to your post because we’re also having a DW where 100% of our guests are traveling in. And, like you, FH and I are paying for everything ourselves, including our guests food & outing the night before the wedding (since they’re buying plane tickets, hotel rooms and possibly renting cars to attended our wedding). I simply wouldn’t want to inconvenience them with a distant drive as well. I understand that it’s not everyone’s view, but we would hate to put our guests in the position of having to drive an hour and a half round trip simply for a backyard bite to eat.

It's your wedding! Safe your money and hug your friend who wants to put it on for you.. that's amazing!! Free food, good company and the bride and Groom being able not to stress over money is huge!! She shouldn't be so upset over driving 45 minutes...you wouldn't change yourself for someone else's thoughts...so don't change your dinner party spot! Do you girl!!

That's a very nice gift! I would definitely take the offer from your friend; weddings are expensive; that's one less expense you have to worry about. Like other's have said, can your mom carpool with someone if she doesn't want to do the 45-minute drive? This isn't something that happens everyday. If she is not willing to accommodate she should at least offer to help with paying for another venue; or she can opt to not attend, but I'm sure you want her there, its your mom. She should do all that she can to be there to support you...again, this is not something that happens everyday. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.