Regrets Destination Wedding

I'm not doing a destination wedding, although I totally would, but my grandparents would have a hard time traveling and for them not of be there would be really sad

You guys need to compromise. I wouldn't have an intimate wedding if he isn't on-board. It's not fair to his family to make them miss it if he wants them there. Also, even with an intimate wedding, you need to have a reception of some kind for those who do come and destination weddings are frequently more expensive than local weddings, so don't let cost sway you into a DW.

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That is what I'm struggling with is my fiance's grandparents not being able to travel

View Quoted Comment That would be a "no" for me then.

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Then that's an automatic no. Why are you struggling? The answer is easy.

I guess the thought of having somewhere close to 400 people we would invite just wasn't my idea of how I wanted to get married and maybe that is selfish of me. I love his grandparents and want them to be part of it but that's why I thought getting dressed up again in our formal wear and having a reception when we got home might be sufficient. I'm more introverted so celebrating with a bunch of people that I'm not close to doesn't sound enjoyable but I'll just have to put that aside.

Just because you have a local wedding doesn't mean you have to invite 400 people. You invite who you want. But the fact that his grandparents can't travel should make the DW question easy. To most people, grandparents are VIPs and unless he's on-board with excluding them, pushing for a DW when you know their physical limitations is selfish.

We are having a DW, but we had discussed with our VIP prior to make sure they would attend. We do not have grandparents, but if someone in my family I was close to could not attend I would rethink our plan.

If you don’t want he big crowd then why does it have to be a destination wedding? Have a small family only wedding (grand parents can come now) and that solves both issues. If you want the celebration of marriage with a giant party you can still do that later too.

I originally wanted a DW but decided to stay local for the same reasons (older family unable to travel.) O that was our hands down deciding factor. They were my VIP so we bit the bullet and began planning something small locally. I don't know of anyone who has regretted a DW but I totally understand the outside pressures that may be associated with planning close to home that could have maybe been relieved just by having an away affair where the guest list could probably determine itself. There are other options to staying local that do not include inviting huge numbers of people. Talk to your FH and narrow down those you both absolutely want in attendance. 2nd receptions are still costly.
On the flip side, I was apart (BM) of a DW wedding where the couple wanted "to do something for the people at home who couldn't attend the away celebrations..." it was taxing and literally like being apart of 2 weddings.

Have a local wedding and invite parents, grandparents, siblings, and a handful of your dearest friends only.

Have a small local wedding. Have siblings, parents ECT. Keep guest list down. That way you both can get ideas of what you want.

We will be having a DW in Jamaica but keeping the list small about 30 people . Biggest regret was VIP telling others who are not invited so now we have upset people who don’t understand small and intimate. Is it too late to reconsider? When is your wedding date?

We are having a destination wedding (just us two) and a reception when we come home. But were both on the same page with wanting that.

We also considered a SUPER small ceremony with just our parents in the park then having a reception.

Invitations just says "so and so were married in a private ceremony, please join us for a reception"