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Monica
Just Said Yes October 2020

Refuse to cancel and so Frustrated!

Monica, on March 29, 2020 at 1:28 PM Posted in Planning 0 43
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My wedding is April 11th and I have been planning it for 1.5 years. The hotel canceled and my guest list went from 50 to 30 or less. I moved to plan B at my parents house because they offered. Now I have my brother (who was going to officiate) is trying to guilt me about having it. My fiancé doesn’t want to reschedule and our marriage license which we got early is only good until the end of May.
*As a side not our dream honeymoon is set for July in non other than Italy. Which is already booked and paid for.

43 Comments

Latest activity by E.F., on May 15, 2020 at 8:53 AM
  • Sarah
    VIP September 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    Can you find someone else willing to officiate? I’m honestly with your brother on this, but if you aren’t willing to postpone, I’d find someone else to do the ceremony so that he doesn’t have to attend.
    • Reply
  • Laura
    Super September 2020
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    I'd reschedule too. It's just too dicey.
    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I think so too. As much as rescheduling sucks, we now have over 2,000 deaths in the US and if Europe is an indicator, April may be the worst month for us. 🥺
    • Reply
  • M
    Expert October 2021
    Megan ·
    • Flag

    Sorry, I'm with your brother, too. It's so important that we keep flattening the curve and try to keep each other safe.

    • Reply
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    I agree with your brother. You are risking the health of so many people because you refuse to postpone which is rather selfish of you.
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    Has your state restricted gatherings? I know in my state it would be illegal to have a gathering of people who don’t live together. I’m so sorry this is happening and it sucks so badly for everyone but I would seriously consider postponing or just having a wedding with the two of you and one witness if weddings are allowed in your state right now.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    Agree with PPs, your brother is right. If you’re not willing to postpone for the safety of your guests, I would work on finding a new officiant.
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Super March 2020
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    We had to cancel too. We ended up having my dad officiate and my mom be a witness. All in total, 4 people. If you can find someone else to officiate then I would go that route. I would keep your guest list extremely small though.
    • Reply
  • Allie
    Expert April 2019
    Allie ·
    • Flag
    I’m sorry this is happening to you. But people are dying.
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle Online ·
    • Flag
    You don’t have to cancel. But just do it where you can live stream it or just do it 10 people to just get married. I know your frustration because you still want your day but you do also still need to follow social distancing protocol
    • Reply
  • Veronica
    Expert June 2021
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    Our honeymoon was supposed to be in Italy in May too but we had to cancel so as much as it sucks you probably will have to cancel your flights 😭 it sucks SO much!
    • Reply
  • Nefetera
    VIP March 2015
    Nefetera ·
    • Flag
    It depends which state you are in to determine how many ppl is considered for a gathering...and at this point its kinda risky to be around anyone. Meyself ill perfer to cancel than being around a crowd.
    • Reply
  • Jai Butcher
    Rockstar May 2020
    Jai Butcher Online ·
    • Flag
    Personally I'd still have it, but I'd downsize my guest list to 10 people or less and have a larger reception later.
    • Reply
  • Karla
    Super February 2020
    Karla ·
    • Flag
    A lot of airlines and hotels are being very lenient with their refund policies due to what is happening with COVID-19. I was able to cancel my month-long honeymoon (which was prepaid) and get pretty much everything refunded back to our credit card. Out of 10 hotels and 6 flights (we were doing multiple countries in Asia + Hawaii), we got all our money back. That was when it wasn’t even a worldwide pandemic. We had even switched our trip to Australia/Fiji/New Zealand in order to avoid Asia, and when things got worse, canceled those flights (again pre-paid... obviously, we didn’t learn. Lol) and were able to get most refunded except for one airline who gave us credit vouchers to use within 18 months. So I’m sure you’ll be able to rebook most of your hotels/flights without losing any money.


    I’m sorry you’re having to go through all this stress and disappointment, I can only imagine how hard this has been for you and your fiancé. However, I’m with the rest of the PPs on here— any even with over 10 people will be too risky. :/These are 30-50 of YOUR loved ones. Do you really want to risk putting them in a situation where they can possibly get ill?

    • Reply
  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
    • Flag

    I'm so sorry but your brother really is right. It is not safe right now to be gathering with anyone outside of the people who you already live with. Have you considered a live-stream wedding? Many couples have been doing these via Zoom as a creative option, and then postponing the celebration for later. Most airlines are being really flexible right now with refunds and vouchers so hopefully you'll be able to either get a refund or postpone your honeymoon. The way things are looking now, I'd say there is a 99% chance no US travel to Italy will be allowed by July. I'm really sorry that you have to go through this, but our only chance to flatten the curve is to follow the CDC guidelines

    • Reply
  • Irene
    Beginner October 2020
    Irene ·
    • Flag
    I feel your pain!. My wedding is scheduled for June 5 and my honeymoon in Hawaii on June 10th. We are waiting for Hawaiian airlines to allow us to reschedule our flight but as of now they ste only allowing up to April 14th.
    Our Air Bnb house on the beach will allow us to reschedule until May 27. I haven't sent out my invites yet and they should have been going out this week. If we do decide to have and this quarantine is uplifted I am sure our lack of time to send out invites will make this wedding smaller than anticipated. It's so stressful
    • Reply
  • Nikki
    Devoted March 2021
    Nikki ·
    • Flag
    I know a lot of people are saying to postpone which I am agreeing with. I had to postpone my big wedding that was suppose to happen on 3/21. For as much as it sucks we know it was the best decision. We still got married on the 21st but in a very small setting and will be having a redo wedding in aug with all our friends and family. And then will be going on our honeymoon then. Once we made the decision to postpone the big stuff so much stress came off our shoulders. Do what you think is best.
    • Reply
  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
    • Flag
    As someone with family in the ICU this makes me so angry. Have the ceremony with your FH and an officiant if you must... but inviting 30 people to be together at one time is BEYOND negligent
    • Reply
  • Kathryn
    VIP August 2020
    Kathryn ·
    • Flag
    I agree with everyone else, but honest to god I feel your pain. We were supposed to be getting married this Saturday, but we realized fairly quickly that we could not ask his parents to travel. His dad is a doctor swamped with cases, and his mom is severely compromised. It's just not practical right now to have a large group. I would have your brother come over and exchange your vows in a quiet service. I don't know where you live, but right now the community spread is rampant in most cities. Please consider the guilt you would feel if someone died from attending your wedding. That may seem harsh, but there are articles about people dying because they attended a wedding. Have a small ceremony in your quarantine. I' so sorry you're going through this - know you're not alone. And you will be ok.
    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Expert April 2021
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    I honestly would postpone it. Your brother is right! I just read a post where someone’s fiancé died from coronavirus. I’d be lucky that you have that as an option. People are losing their family over this.
    • Reply

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