Reception only invite

I think if their ceremony is literally only their parents and siblings and maybe grandparents then it's ok. But if it's more than that I think it's rude. My cousin actually did this and some of my family is still pissed about it. She invited us all only to the reception. But she had like 50 people at her ceremony, including some friends. We all had to travel 10 hours to get to this wedding too. The worst part was, the day of the wedding she texts us and says if we want to come to the ceremony we can. Like what so your saying some of your friends aren't coming and now you have empty seats? Uh no.

I don't think it's rude if they actually stick to it being just an intimate ceremony. Some people prefer to do their ceremonies where they are not distracted or being watched by tons of people.

@ Donna: Wow. Now that is rude.

It's rude.

I'm having an intimate ceremony that will only include my parents, FH's parents, and our two best friends. Everyone else will only be invited to the reception. I have informed some close family of this (siblings, my aunt) and no one has had any issues with it.

I have been discussing ways to include extended family in the ceremony since venue does not allow them all to fit, so we opted for a more intimate ceremony with big reception. Our reception would be outside at the same location as ceremony and I had a friend suggest maybe doing a large screen outside at reception space to live feed the ceremony to those who are attending the reception and not the ceremony. havent decided on this yet, but thought it was a good idea!

So my FIL's are Polish (emigrated in '90's), and in their circle you're actually not expected to be at the ceremony, usually a full Catholic mass. I've been to a couple of these ceremonies, and often it's just the family and close friends who bother to show up at the church. But they all come to the reception. So I guess maybe this isn't rude in some cultures.

One element of the traditional polish wedding that I really like and that we will be incorporating is an intimate blessing at the home of the Bride prior to the wedding. Only the very closest family and the wedding party are invited to this. Basically, the parents and grandparents say a few words of prayer over the bride and groom prior to the ceremony. Maybe an element some of the intimate ceremony advocates on here could think about using as a surrogate.

They made a mistake by announcing that the ceremony was private on the invitation. I think that's where the offense is drawn from. Personally, I don't really care. Go or don't go if you're offended - your choice!

As PP's have said, it's not rude if the ceremony is truly intimate. I can't imagine not treating all my guests the same.

Also, I don't know why they're sending out invitations so early.

Or as @R&B2016 said, I don't know why they put private ceremony on the invitation. I would be upset if it was a particularly close cousin. Yes, the couple has the right to do what they please, but they can't get upset if fewer people show up to their reception because they're peeved.

I don't know why anyone would consider being offered free food & drinks rude, but okay. If a couple wants to keep their ceremony private there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. They are still paying for you to come celebrate with them afterwards. What difference does the same day or a month before/after make? It's the same thing no matter what day it occurs.

I also don't think having the bride & grooms best friends at the ceremony makes it rude, they are their best friends. I consider my best friend a part of my family and I love her the same as I love my sister. My great aunt and second cousin? No. I love seeing them but I am not emotionally as close to them as my best friend. They also do not have to travel to the party with free food/drinks if they do not want to, it's an "invite" for a reason.

Situations like this are very circumstantial on what makes it rude. Your situation is not rude whatsoever imo.

I think it's rude, yes.

I dont think its rude. The couple atleast wanted to be able to share the day with family and friends, even if they couldnt accommodate everyone for the ceremony. As previously stated, they are still inviting you to the expensive part so its not like they are trying to be cheap or say that you are less important, they just broke it down differently.

I personally believe that weddings ceremonies are SUPER intimate situations. So I feel like it's important that you be particularly careful with who you invite to that ceremony. All those in witness to your vows should also be a support system to your MARRIAGE. They should be people you can call on when you want to leave and they be ones to encourage you to stay. (IMO) So I don't get mad or offended when I am not invited to weddings. I've been invited to weddings and not receptions as well and was not offended. I just not quick to offense. I'm quicker to understanding.

I've been to one like that and it wasn't a big deal, she only wanted their parents and their kids, the pictures were beautiful and her reception was amazingly fun.