Reception only invite

I'm only have immediate family at my wedding. Parents and siblings. We are having an open house instead of reception after the wedding for friends and extended family to come celebrate with us. I don't think it's rude. It's what they want.

I have been invited to reception only and I had no problem with it. For me the ceremony is just something I have to sit through until the fun starts. HaHa!

I honestly would be annoyed, not offended, but annoyed. I totally understand people wanting a small wedding for whatever reason, but then why do you need a large reception?

Personally if I wanted a private ceremony I would not want or expect a reception. However, we have some close friends who are doing this. The only people at the ceremony will be the couple and their parents. Afterwards they are hosting a celebration party. I don't understand it but I don't consider it rude...they are inviting us to the free food and lots of fun part!

I've had three family members do this. I don't mind going and celebrating at their reception but I'm mean and don't bring a gift...

This is done frequently. It is not rude at all to be invited to the reception, but not the ceremony.

Now, rude is being invited to the ceremony and not the reception. That you do not do.

@Donna....why would you not bring a gift, simply because you are not invited to the ceremony? That I would consider to be rude.

Ummm, I don't get all the animosity here...you're going to be hosted with free food and drinks and a party. You're invited to the expensive part, it's not like they're saying "Come to our ceremony, but we don't love you enough to wine and dine you!" There are a lot of reasons the couple may have wanted to keep the ceremony private.

My first wedding was parents and grandparents and siblings ONLY, followed by a reception. It was a compromise between my desire for an elopement with just the two of us and his desire to invite everyone we'd ever met to celebrate with us.

My cousin did this. I didn't necessarily think it was rude because it was only immediate family at the ceremony but it bummed me out a little. If I'm traveling to a wedding, I like to watch the couple actually get married too.

My FH has a lot of social anxiety so we are doing a parents/sibling ceremony in the morning and larger gathering in the afternoon. I am bummed because there are a few aunts, gparents, and cousins that I would love to invite but I didn't want to be rude and not invite the whole crew of aunts, uncles, cousins. So we cut it at the parents and sibling. Personally I would totally rather have a cousin and two of my aunts over my brother....but dad had feelings about that. I know we have hurt some feelings so we are actually going to have a short video made to share at the gathering. We found a cute one that inspired us.

"It's not rude if it's literally only her immediate family (ie her parents and siblings)"

And grandparents and best friends.

Thanks Erin.

It is NOT rude when the ceremony is truly private, like immediate family only. It is acceptable in that case.

@Celia- probably because I haven't been to one of yours! :-)

Now that I know they're inviting their friends, is it technically against etiquette? Yes, because those friends aren't immediate family. So yes, your cousin is being rude. That doesn't give your mum or aunt a reason to be rude in return though.

@Donna. That is horrible. A reception is what costs all the money! They are still feeding you and giving you drinks and entertainment, so you still need to give a gift.

Technical etiquette aside, it's clear from this conversation that people may feel some type of way about the small ceremony/larger reception plan. Your guests won't say anything to you if you inadvertently hurt their feelings.

I am in the same boat. FH and I are planning our wedding and can not physically fit everyone into our ceremony space. We both have huge families...between our siblings, parents, grandparents, and siblings (young) children we already have 48 people! I originally had just settled on only having those people celebrate our day with us until another family member asked if I planned to invite the rest of the family to reception only so that they were still included. People keep saying that 48 is not small but it depends on your family, as I stated, that is immediate family. With extended family we jump over 200 without any friends invited. I dont want to offend anyone, but its either they are not invited at all or only invited to the reception. I would look at it as being happy I was atleast invited to celebrate their day and understand that maybe they could not physically fit everyone!

FMH, or you could find a different ceremony space that will include everyone. That is another option to avoid offending anyone.

I've tried to explain to my mom and aunts how expensive a reception is. The way I see it, if we are invited to the reception, we must be pretty important to them because they are paying a lot of money for each of us to be there. @donna even if they were rude for not inviting you to the ceremony, it's even more rude to show up at a reception to eat and drink but not bring a gift for the couple.

Jacks...That is an option, but not one we really want to consider. We plan on being married in FH's fathers church. It is something very special to us.

LOL....good save ;-)