Reception food

Nooooooo no no no no. Cut your guest list or pick up some extra work if you have already committed to the venue. You cannot ask guests to pay for their meal. No. If you were going on a date to spend $100 on dinner, you'd want to pick the restaurant yourself not be forced to pay that to attend someone's wedding with wedding food.

This is an absolute no. It shouldn't matter if all of your guests are family or not. It isn't right to expect anyone to pay for their meals at your wedding. What your cousin did was a cake and punch reception with the option for guests to join them for dinner so they had a choice. I also highly doubt it was $45 per person for bbq. You wouldn't be giving your guests the option. Also, like another poster mentioned traditional venues which is what it sounds like yours is will expect payments for food/beverages in advance so you would have to collect the money from your guests ahead of time which sounds like a total nightmare as collecting rsvps is difficult enough without adding in needing to collect money. I will also say that having your bridal party pay for their own attire is completely different than expecting your guests to pay for your meal as it is an expectation when you are a bridesmaid/groomsman that you purchase/rent whatever attire is requested. My suggestion is to cut down your guest list so that you can afford to properly host all of your guests or have your reception at a non-meal time.

No, you cannot do this. The entire point of a reception is to thank guests for attending by providing them with a meal, drinks and entertainment.


You need to cut your guest list or find a new venue/more affordable licensed caterer

View Quoted Comment We already put down the deposit on the venue. This venue is already booked and perfect for our theme. We are doing a cultural wedding. The wedding is to celebrate my culture. The reception, my fiance's culture. So we decided we are going to offer people appetizers and then if people want to eat out afterwards, we are going to a place that serves food from my fiance's culture. They will have to pay for their own meals, though. That is what we decided today, as we are not going to pay 45/person. That's just not an option for either of us. We are trying to keep the wedding economical. We didn't know that we couldn't use outside caterers until the tour because we were gonna have someone cater. Either way, we fell in love with the place because it has a lot more amenities like cabin rentals for the night before the wedding included in our package, which we will allow some guests to use. They also support local business, which is a major passion of mine. They serve organic vegetables, which many people in our family is big on. Also, our pets will be in the wedding, and some of our family is bringing their pets. So we had to have a venue that allows pets, as we are major animal lovers. Either way, we might also try to do a culture themed breakfast if we can, but thanks everyone for your input. Most have been quite helpful.

Absolutely rude. If I had to pay for food at someone else’s wedding, I would not want to go to that wedding.


Also, by saying “me and my fiancé are paying for the wedding ourselves,” this does not absolve you from paying for bars and food (basic necessities) for their guests

View Quoted Comment Okay.....and? You wouldn't have to come. People that want to come will come, people that don't won't. Your comment is unnesarily rude. I never said paying for the wedding excuses us from providing accommodations. Either way, we are not paying for a bar and neither are we serving meals. Too expensive. What you consider necessities may not be what we consider necessities. If you had read the final comment, we are serving light meals. Thank you

View Quoted Comment It was an honest question and idk why some people on here are so rude. Like I really didnt know, but I won't be asking anymore questions on this forum.

View Quoted Comment I didn’t know suggesting that not providing food was rude was offensive to you.


If you decide to have your wedding between 1-4, you should provide cake and punch. I was just at a cake and lunch reception and it was lovely. They did brunch. I love brunch weddings. They tend to be more economical and are usually less expensive.

View Quoted Comment By suggesting you serve food to people is rude at a wedding? Seriously sounds like you have got a lot of similar answers—you just don’t like them.

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You and your fiance are not paying for the wedding yourselves if you are pushing the cost of it off on your guests. If the wedding you are having includes, per the venue's requirements, a ceremony and a reception that includes a meal, and you are not paying for the meal, then the guests are paying for your wedding.

It seems that you're ok with being rude and asking others to pay for your wedding, but please don't expect people here to reassure you that it's acceptable to do that, because it's not.

You got good advice and changed your plans accordingly, so you're not going to ask any more questions on this forum?

In these forums I think we all can agree that we use reasonable endeavours to give a gentle nudge to brides who want to do something which goes against what we would consider to be acceptable in the circumstances by the majority. At some point or another, we’ve all realised/been advised that perhaps what we wanted to do was not the best idea.

Ultimately, the polite thing at these events is to feed your guests and this isn’t in any way impacted by the fact that your venue allows pets or that your wedding will be a celebration of your culture.

If your wedding requires people to travel (which I suspect it may possibly since you’ve stated that guests can use rented cabins overnight) then I would even more so press for including food in the budget. If it is a very short wedding (i.e. 3 hours tops) light appetizers will suffice, however, if it is an all-day event, let alone one that requires guests to travel, I really encourage you to feed them a proper meal and caution that it’ll leave guests with a bad taste in their mouth if you don’t (no pun intended).

I find this very rude. I would not attend a wedding where I had t pay for a meal.

I think you may have stepped on some toes around here. Food can be a hot topic on what is and isn't ok. It could be very awkward to have people pay for there wedding food... even if you found a smooth logistical way to do it. I think it is great that you prioritized the things that matter to you (pets, a lovely venue, cabins, supporting locals). I saw your comment on your plan and I think it sounds smart. Giving people a choice is awesome even if it isn't super traditional.

I would love to have my wedding be light with small bites and then an option for dinner out. It gives people lots of choices and lifts the burden that can be a wedding. Especially since it is sometimes accepted that you can not invite people due to occupancy (or whatever reason) and go out to dinner instead at another time no love lost to celebrate. I am the youngest in my family and I think people forget that you don't get a magical fairy wallet to pay thousands in catering. Sometimes the thoughts offered here can just add to the pressure that is this big event, but everyone's family, helping hand, culture, and wallet are unique to them!

I hope you picked up some tasty food for thought with all the advice you received from this vibrant community.

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I know this is from October but I need to know how this turned out!!! Paying for your own food AND pets at a wedding? (And I am an animal person - currently fostering a kitty) But please so dog hair in my food, thanks. If one can't afforf $45 a head for a reception, DON'T GET MARRIED with a reception. Other people need to feel an obigation for your adult life choice event.