Reception food

I'm not sure I would go to a wedding if I have to pay for my own food 🥴 maybe if it was a Bestfriend or something but anyone else I would kindly decline

I’ve never ever heard of going to a wedding and paying for your own food. Not sure I would attend.


Sorry

View Quoted Comment I know, but it is just going to be family. We can't afford 45 dollars per person. That's just too much😪 we have over fifty people

Asking guests to pay for their own food? No polite way to do that. You find a menu you can afford from your own pocket. Contact your favorite local restaurant as many of them have inexpensive catering packages without wedding markup. You can serve anything: Mexican, soul food, bbq, Chinese, etc

This is beyond rude. If you can't afford to properly host your guests then you need to have your wedding at a non-meal time, find a cheaper vendor to provide your food, or cut your guest list as guests should NEVER be expected to pay for their food at someone else's wedding.

View Quoted Comment We can't use outside caterers at the place we have booked. My cousin had people pay for their own food. We went to a bbq place, and everyone paid for their own food. No one seemed to have a problem with it, so I guess that's why I didnt see it as that big a deal...

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That was a poor choice on her part.

This is extremely rude. You’re inviting people to your event, they shouldn’t have to pay for anything. I’m not sure why you would select a venue where you can’t afford to host your guests, but you should either cut your guest list so that you can afford to properly host them or find a different venue with catering options in your budget.

View Quoted Comment Can your family provide the food? Like do a potluck or something?

I mean you know your family and how they would react to a situation like this. I know I would not go to a reception where I had to pay for my own food. For $45/pp I doubt the food would be what I can get for that price. Sadly weddings are super expensive so I agree with pp. You may need to find a different venue and host a wedding you can afford. My friend did her reception at her clubhouse with party trays from our local grocery. One friend did a lunch wedding and had burgers and tater tots. I mean you gotta work with your budget. Just because your cousin did it, does not mean everyone liked it and your guests may feel different. What made you want this venue? I ask because knowing the prices in advance I would not work with them.

Oh my, this is a big no no. You should NEVER request guests to pay for their meal at your wedding. If you cannot afford to properly host them, you will need to make some changes to your current plan. Either cut the guest list to however many people you can afford to host, choose a different venue that is more affordable or will allow you to bring in your own catering, or have a cake & punch reception at your venue at a non-meal time (for instance, 2 or 3 in the afternoon).

View Quoted Comment Probably no one said anything because it's rude to say anything bad to the hosts

Although serving meals or apps has become more common than it used to be, it still is not necessary to serve any food at a wedding that is between meal times. Or you may serve a small piece of cake or cupcake, and a cold drink. But it is not appropriate to do things at a meal time if you or other hosts ( can be both families host) do not provide and pay for food, and expect guests to pay. Truly rude.

View Quoted Comment Well, she served snacks beforehand, and if you wanted to go to dinner with her and her husband, then that was your choice. But she provided snacks and cake immediately after. Everyone who wanted to go out had the choice, but paid for their own food. I thought it was a really economical wedding.

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Well my guess is that people didn't say how rude this was is because they didn't want to upset the bride and groom. Either cut your list, find a new venue, or plan your wedding for non-meal time. It is ridiculous to expect anyone to pay for your wedding.

I never been invited to a wedding without food.

View Quoted Comment Well, they had a really good package and the place is exactly what we want. Switching at this point is not an option. My fiance already put down a deposit. We didn't think anything of asking family to pay for their meals, but seeing as everyone is saying it is not a good idea....My cousin served snack foods and desserts beforehand and then if you wanted to celebrate with them further, we went to the bbq place and paid for your own food.

View Quoted Comment If switching venues is not an option, and you cannot afford to pay for meals for your guests, simply have your wedding & reception at a non-meal time at your venue. As long as it’s not at a meal time, it is acceptable to serve just cake & beverages (or something of that nature).

View Quoted Comment You say that it is all family, other than your WP. If you both talk with your families, they may agree to co-host your wedding reception. If so, some representatives of both sides should decide if they want the meal package you are talking, or to order in food differently, or divide up the menu and have different people responsible for different things. If they agree to share hosting, with your share being you and WP, and the rest family, that is reasonable. It is more common in some rural areas, and some city areas, for people to put on a community ( as in , all who are there contribute) or pot luck meal. This is perfectly acceptable when the larger group, family, neighborhood, church or small town, agree to participate in the planning, and decide what the meal will be and how they contribute, which may be in money or food or supplies.
What is considered rude, is for you to set things up for guests to pay, when they have not agreed to be part of the group meal. Or for you to set things up, essentially, and expect them to pay. ... Particularly when all involved are from the two families, if they are willing to co-host the meal and put it on with you, then it is fine. You are no longer in charge, and will have to plan with the group, or representative others. But doing it this way is as old as time.

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Ahhhhh I understand. If you love the venue that is fine. I would ask your family and see what they think. I think everything with etiquette is a case by case basis. I agree with Yasmine that for close family or a friend I would pay (would I think what the heck? yes. would I say anything? nope) so maybe your family does not mind paying. I know people have a difference of opinions on cash bars. I would say if you did a slightly earlier (before dinner wedding) and served at least cocktail hour stuff that is more affordable or maybe cake and punch. What time is your ceremony? Are you planning a traditional reception with dancing?