Reception before the wedding?

I can't relate to using a TV show as a guide for weddings. But setting your inspiration aside, this idea doesn't work because if you invite people to witness your wedding and celebrate with you, the most meaningful time to celebrate is after everyone has watched you say your vows. Rehearsal dinners can be fun events, but they are just the preamble. Sending everyone home after your wedding ceremony will be anticlimactic, confusing, and off-putting.

I mean it all depends on your personality as well as I mean it all depends on your personality as well as the people that make up your family and friends circle. Do you think that they would be offended by that? For me personally I see what the previous poster says but I don't think it's a bad idea but I would just say this why don't you do what a lot of people do where they have a small intimate wedding ceremony followed by a reception at a later date. Is the reason that you're asking this is because you want to not have a big wedding and have a lot of people there? If so, why not just elope, have your honeymoon and then have a larger party later to celebrate with people

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. Most guests will be confused and angry for improper hosting if you do this

I had always thought that was just Jim and Pam's rehearsal dinner and the reception happened off-screen.


Maybe an intimate dinner type reception is more appealing to you?

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I thought about that but everyone just went back to the hotel after and Kevin put his feet in the ice machine lol I'm just trying to figure out how we can cut some costs because we'll be buying a house soon too.

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My main thought for it is that we won't be able to have very many people at the actual wedding, so it would be nice to have an intimate dinner before with everyone that will be at the actual wedding.

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I think people would be more understanding given the current state of the world. If we invite everyone that's invited to the wedding to a nice dinner beforehand, why would they be offended? We likely won't be able to have more than 50 people there anyway and I've never been a big fan of receptions anyway. We're also having people come from far away (mid-way between our families but still at least a 2-3 hour drive for everyone), so it would be more beneficial for some to be able to go home after the wedding.

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Honestly, I don't want to worry about what others think about my wedding. As long as my fiance and I are happy, then I'm happy. It's in very poor taste to be offended or make it about yourself at someone else's wedding in my opinion.

View Quoted Comment If the couple is rude or improper hosts, then being offended is valid. It doesn't make it about the guests. What is in poor taste is telling the couple you are offended. Which is why most do not believe they have ever upset anyone.


The ceremony is for the couple and they can do anything they want. The reception is for the guests and they need to be comfortable and hosted properly.

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I see your point, but respectfully disagree. Being a gracious host is a priority but I won't bend over backward for anyone either. I believe that the wedding and anything surrounding it should make the couple happy. I've had a couple bad experiences with receptions where people have ruined it for the newlyweds and I don't want anything like that to happen. I also don't want to feel like I'm responsible for everyone else having a good time. They should be there to celebrate the couple, not to be judging how well I'm taking care of their needs or wants.

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I don't understand what the state of the world has to do with attending a party the night before a wedding vs. staying for a reception after the wedding.

And it's not really about being offended, but more, like, why would you want to arbitrarily rearrange the usual order of events because you think having a party after is more stressful than before? You say you don't like receptions, but anything you hold after the ceremony, even a simple dinner, can count as a reception. If you want to have a dinner party with your guests, why on earth not have that dinner party immediately following the ceremony when everyone is excited about just witnessing your vows??

Obviously, you can do whatever you want, but you did ask for opinions and I just can't see any logic to what you are proposing.

View Quoted Comment Agree with this

View Quoted Comment I see what you mean but why not just still do the intimate dinner after the wedding? I mean weddings don't have to be followed by a party style reception. We had a minimony and we just did dinner afterwards and we had a great time.

Some kind of reception following the ceremony is required to thank your guests for coming and witnessing your ceremony. That said the reception can be as simple as cake and punch as long as it isn’t during a meal time.
So have your intimate dinner party the evening before, the ceremony and then a simple cake and punch reception after the ceremony. Then continue on with your day as you want.

View Quoted Comment Agreed. Cake/punch is extremely common and the only type of reception done in some areas and social circles. Lasts 2 hrs max while you and guests mingle. Then you can do your own thing.

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I think an intimate dinner vs. a large party with everyone dancing together would be better given the current infection rate. I just believe that the entire wedding should be about the bride and groom, not the guests. I guess I'm not used to weddings because I thought that was the whole premise. Now I'm realizing that I have to also be a host and worry the entire time what others thing or if they're having a good time, instead of my FH and I.

View Quoted Comment I think you have this strange idea that a reception must be a certain thing. It doesn’t. You can do an intimate dinner following the ceremony exactly the same as you are talking about the day before. The difference is that you would be properly hosting your guests to do it following the ceremony. Dancing and such is not a requirement for a reception. A simple dinner is perfectly fine if that is what you want to do.

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Yes. OP seems to have wedding blinders on. But that's ok, that's what this site is for - to learn about all different types of weddings. Hosting 50 people for a meal after a wedding ceremony is a perfectly fine reception.

You can absolutely have an intimate dinner following your ceremony rather than a larger party for a reception. I would worry that it’d be too stressful to do the night before the ceremony. You’ll want to be well rested and then celebrate after! But you do you.

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Thanks! I really don't think the pandemic will be better enough at that point to have a "normal" reception so I think having a small dinner would be better at least for right now.