Reception and wedding at different times

I'd have to clean up all the flowers and decorations in the church and yes I am Catholic. Do you think a 4 pm cocktail hour is to early ?

Dinners typically have just light background music, then after dinner the DJ would play dance music. A professional DJ knows how to keep it family-friendly but still fun.

You are way too far out to be worrying about offending your family with music selections.

Do you even have a reception venue yet?

Ginny, have you ever been to a wedding before?

You don't mean you personally cleaning up right?

No, 4 pm is not too early for a cocktail hour.

If you want to have happy guests, hire a day-of-coordinator so that they can take care of ceremony clean-up from 4 pm to 5 pm (along with all the other details that will definitely need someone looking after on the day of).

Lauren B. - I believe she does mean "personally cleaning up." Some Catholic churches, if they've having Mass that day, will ask you to remove all non-church owned decor directly after the ceremony.

@Ginny, you hire a DOC to clean up the church. I've never been to a church wedding where the Bride and/or Groom ever cleans up.

4 pm cocktail hour is fine. How far is your reception venue from the church? You might need to factor in travel time as well.

Churches typically don't need much decoration. Pews can be left undecorated if that's easier. Most people just do some flower arrangements for the altar, which can be left there to use for Sunday Mass.

You do understand that your vendors will handle the teardown for you. IMO, most Catholic churches are beautiful on their own, that you will not need to bring in much, if any, decor. 15 minutes should be more than enough time to tear down.

Also, FWIW - DH and I were married in a small chapel in December. It was decorated for Christmas and my florist with her team flipped the entire space in less than 15 minutes. We are talking a major overhaul: floral and garland on the staircase entry, candles with garland and floral on the alter and candles/floral on the alcoves. It is very feasible, if you keep the decor light. In my situation, there was an upcharge because my florist had to bring in extra people to help with the flip.

Holy shit this gave me a headache.

Do you think it's rude to ask your bridesmaids to take down the flowers and aisle decorations? My maid of honor and another bridesmaid is helping me plan the wedding because she actually works for a wedding planner and my fiancé really didn't want a wedding planner because he thought it was an unnessecary cost. The venue from the church is about 15-25 mins. I contacted one venue and it's reasonable price and very beautiful ( big banquet hall) the fee is $1500 and and $150 extra for alcohol because they provide all the bartenders and linens, chairs, dance floor, etc. the only thing is you have to use them for food and they don't allow outside catering. It seems reasonable though. Lunch is typically 11-16 per person and dinner is around 21$ I will have around 275 guest. Do you think this is a good deal or do you think I might be able to do it cheaper at a place that lets you cater from wherever ?

Hell it's 11:00 here and I'm ready for a cocktail hour...

It is rude to ask anyone in your bridal party or who is a guest to help with cleaning up. It is rude to ask this, or any other type of related favors, from someone you are not paying for their services (some people might feel differently but I honestly feel super strongly about this).

Wine, I need wine and it's only 10 am. Ginny: do not have your wedding party take down the decorations.

Before you post any more, you need to hang around this forum and read a lot of threads. You'll learn a lot. You have almost two years to your wedding. A lot of what you are asking doesn't need to be decided yet and you'll get knowledge and ideas from WW.

AlssyaW - totally agree with you. $21/person for dinner?! My brain just can't even.

Also, OP - if you're concerned about cost/budget, cut your guest list. That is the first place you should look if you are looking to save money.

Ginny, cut your guest list. And please don't have your bridesmaids clean up the church. That is rude.

It's rude to ask friends and family to do tasks like that. They're guests and should be able to enjoy the day. You don't need pew decorations though. Just do a couple altar arrangements and call it good. Or, hire a day of coordinator who can help you with this sort of thing if you have the money to do so and would like to have more decorations.

That price is good, if they have good reviews it sounds like a good deal. Do they require you to use their alcohol or can you supply it? That's another question to ask them.

Should I even begin the battle with you on the difference between a Wedding Planner and a DOC????

I think a 4:00 PM cocktail hour is more than okay -- it's perfect....IF the ceremony immediately precedes it. If your ceremony is over by 12:30 or 1:00 PM, you're right back to the gap scenario.

As far as your reception goes, here's some advice. I'm from a very traditional Catholic family. Our weddings, from the early 1970s to the one I'm going to attend in September, always have a few traditions that don't change with the times. There is always a full, top shelf, open bar. There is always a plated meal. There are always spotlight dances. Money is always given to the couple, not boxed gifts. However, there are things that have changed with the times. My wedding, like the weddings that preceded it and followed it, featured a live band. After 2000, that changed. Besides far more impressive apps being served at cocktail hours (another immutable), DJs (and their flashy lighting techniques and super loud systems) took over. At the last several weddings I have attended, the couples have placed a high premium on having their music played. There is the inclusion of a few songs from the 50's, 60's, 70's, and 80's (for the older guests), but the majority of music is current and popular. Does the older generation like it? No, not particularly (especially the volume), BUT they do understand it. The seniors tend to pack it in shortly after dinner; then, the environment is almost club-like. I believe the traditionalists understand that they've been invited to a Catholic ceremony, a great cocktail hour, and a reception featuring great food, alcohol, and a few songs from their youth. They stay until they've finished their after dinner coffee, and then they say, "Hey, it's their wedding. Let them have their party." ''

You have the right to have your DJ play whatever YOU like. I'd suggest you throw a few tunes in to stir the memories of your older guests, but you don't need to run your song list by your older, traditional guests. This is your wedding -- something you and FH worked hard to create. You're entitled to have to music you love played.

ETA: No, you shouldn't ask your bridal party or any guest to do the work of a vendor on the wedding day. Somebody must be on duty that day -- someone to make sure the entrance doors are unlocked, someone to turn on the lights and the audio system, someone to adjust the A/C, someone to insure that the rest rooms are clean, someone to be there until the last guest has left the property. I'd ask your priest who that person was (most likely a caretaker or janitor), and I'd offer him $75 to do the breakdown and what sounds like minimal clean-up.

As far as your alcohol flat fee and your PP charge of $21 PP, you're getting a fabulous deal. You have a huge guest list of 275 people. I'm curious...what are they eating for $21 and what is the bar menu?

First- to answer your question "Yes"- it's incredibly rude to ask your friends to help you.

Secondly- Listen to Centerpieces- she's got the most grade A on point advice- and she's a professional in the industry.