Recently engaged

View Quoted Comment

I completely agree with you! Jessica, your feelings are what matter. I'd say before making any decisions about engagement photos and so on you should sit down with your FH and discuss how you feel because even though the coin is a beautiful gesture it isn't what you pictured. The overall take away from this is: It is okay to feel both happy and upset and you talk to him about it.

Well wishes!

Girl, this is YOUR wedding. Me and my fiancé are to be wed in September and there’s been no proposal, just two consenting adults making a life decision together. We’re not that traditional, we had a “hey we’re getting married bbq, so we’re “engaged” and I don’t rock a ring. In fact for my “wedding band” for the day of, he’ll actually be slipping on a “wedding ring with a center stone instead. Sometimes, you got to customize and tweak some things and make or start your own traditions.

I had a similar disappointment as you did when we first got engaged but it wasn’t about the ring, it was about his proposal. His proposal was so blah, we had been together 12 years and not that I was expecting fireworks and doves when he finally proposed but I was hoping for a little something. I had to put it in perspective because I am the romantic type, the thoughtful planner & decorator and he isnt. Hes the spontaneous impatient type. He was so excited to give me the ring he didn’t think about the way he was proposing he just wanted to propose. Which made me have a bunch of different emotions. Just like you feel with not having a ring I felt sad like I missed out on something major. And its a big peice of our story because whats the question Everyone asks when you say ur engaged? They ask HOW DID HE PROPOSE? And what was I to say? Tell the truth or lie or what? I vented to friends and after a while I got over it and was happy to be engaged, whenever someone asked about the proposal I told them it was short and sweet.


In your case, You are Definitely valid in your feelings. Although i think your proposal was unique and thoughtful. But i do agree with some pp and I feel like a ring is needed. Even if its a plain band or a fake ring, just something to show the world that you are an engaged woman. I think it stings us a little when we feel we have been robbed of the Wedding cultural norms. But at the end of the day we should be happy that the love we share with our significant other is so strong that its leading us to marriage.
And you can definitely still have engagement photos without the ring. Just lovely pictures of the both of u. The ring doesn’t have to be shown off. Maybe u can take a pic with the penny he used to propose. Maybe the penny in both of ur hands or something.

Hey! I'm kind of in your situation--I still don't have a ring due to COVID and he hasn't proposed, but we're getting married in October 😳. It is hard, and that's okay for you to have those feelings! Especially because people are VERY judgy when things aren't "normal." It helps me to remember that at the end of the day, the most important thing is our union and all of this other stuff will be less important after years and years! Don't let this dampen the fun of wedding planning 😀 good luck, girl!

This will be long sorry lol: Hi!!!! I totally understand! First off me and my future hubby did not get engaged with a ring either. We both knew we were getting married, set a date and started planning immediately. I still wanted a traditional proposal, so I was willing to wait for my ring and to still have it be a suprise. I went to wedding venues, caterers, etc all without my ring. And YES! I definitely agree that it was sometimes disheartening not having a ring doing all of those things....but because I knew it was coming I was able to get over my feelings and keep it moving ( most of the times lol ). Long story short he finally found my ring then covid happened and it stayed sitting in the store for 3 months!!!! I was very upset with all possible emotions. I had my wedding dress appointment scheduled and if I didn't have my ring I didn't want it! By a miracle of God, great friends, and wonderful jewelry store employees he was able to get my ring the week I went to my appointment and it was everything!!! ❤ it definitely makes the difference to have it, not as validation but as a complete symbol of our love. I dont think you are wrong for being emotional about getting it especially since you guys have been together so long. Me and my fiance got "engaged" ( without the ring ) at 7 months and our wedding is set for our 2 year anniversary, and I about had a conniption fit so I totally get you. I told him I wanted to enjoy the courting faze and enjoy being a fiancee before a wife. And I believe that's where you are now. You have been patient being the significant other, the girlfriend, the boo for 5 whole years ....and now you want to enjoy being a fiancee and not wait until the big day because for you getting engaged was your big day. I feel you should talk to him like I did. Sometimes men become complacent ( procrastinate ) because they feel they have plenty of time to "make things happen"...when we are like why cant you do it now? Especially when there is nothing significant in the way. I cant explain how wonderful I felt finally having my ring while wedding planning and trying on my dress...it made things fill whole and complete because of the symbol it represents. So talk to him and maybe he can propose to you with a different ring and give you the other special ring on the day. All that said it is definitely ok for you to plan without your ring, and its definitely doable with covid happening. You got this girl. Make your request know and expect it to happen💕💕💕💕💕 love you!

View Quoted Comment

A jeweler can bezel set the coin so no hole is made in coin itself. Don't go to a MALL store, find a jeweler who does their own work in house.

View Quoted Comment

Thank you! His dad is a jeweler so maybe I can have him do it!

View Quoted Comment

Thank you! Oh my goodness, your story makes me just want to hug you. I'm so glad the universe worked things out so you got to go to your appointment with the ring! I've calmed down a little and we talked things over a little last night and I explained how I was processing things and what I was thinking. Yes, I've waited for such a long time.... Prior to him coming along I didn't think marriage was really in the cards for me. And then when he did come along, every time someone got engaged I would cry. And I have been getting SO TIRED of everyone and their mother asking me when he is going to propose. So it finally happened and I have nothing to show for it. Which got me frustrated.

View Quoted Comment

Thank you! Good luck to you too!!! This has helped me realize that there are so many of us out there who aren't doing this the "traditional" route. Everyone is different and I seriously need to stop comparing. Oof.

View Quoted Comment

I agree! I feel like what's put out there, either in media or on social media, proposals are built up to be this huge thing and when they don't fall into that ideal we are left super disappointed. I appreciate your response! I am also the romantic type, and my fiance is one who rarely shows emotions lol.

View Quoted Comment Yes what we see on tv and social media definitely influences us. For me it was the fact that im the thoughtful planner when he completely is not, its kind of unfair of me to hold him to an expectation that isnt his style. But at the same time I was still hoping for a little thought & effort. I hope everything works out for you and you feel a little better about it soon.

Lots of people get engaged without a ring. Sometimes people can't wear jewelry due to their jobs but they're still engaged. It's the intent of commitment behind it that should be the most important but so many people focus on the physical part of it or it's not "real" in their minds. Ignore the naysayers and focus on what works for you.