Hi All,
I just got engaged last month. Covid + breaking THE finger as a child = he didn't propose with a ring. He did propose with a coin (he collects them) he found that had my first initial and his last initial on it. Historically, this is how proposals happened. He said that we would get a ring when things opened up.
And now that's changed. He said he is getting me the wedding band first and "the big one" will happen when we get married (who knows when that will be). He wouldn't tell me why until I was crying about it today because why can't we just be normal?! He was sworn to secrecy, but saw how upset I was so asked the powers that be if he could tell me, and did. He has a diamond, but it is in Florida (where his grandparents live), so we have to go there to get it and then can design the ring. He wanted it to be a surprise, which I have now ruined.
Anyway.... I partially needed to vent, but also want to know if there is anyone out there somewhat in my position? It sucks that our society is hyper focused on "the ring" but it sucks even more when people ask to see it and you have to say "I don't have one." I was trying to find a photographer to do engagement pictures (because I thought we would be going ring shopping soon), but should I just put a halt to everything until I have a ring? Have you taken engagement pictures that weren't hyper focused on a ring? Or gotten a wedding band prior to the blingy ring?
I think the stress of this week has gotten to me and my feelings are manifesting in this. We have been together for 5 1/2 years- the first year and a half was long distance. We have been through a lot and I should just be happy he finally freaking asked. It's just very different than I imagined it would be and I just want to be normal and like everyone else. Thanks for reading.
