Really not sure what to do....Advice?

She can't be around candle AT ALL? My first thought would be to seat her at a table with the floating candles and just not light them. Is that an option?

Really wow never heard of that with COPD, but you may have to do electric if it is really upsetting you, Or just do flowers. Good Luck

Electronic candles ARE expensive, but I've seen some that you really can't tell the difference.

I agree with Reenski. You could put her at a table with no candles on it. It would only be one table. So it shouldn't take away from the ambiance.

Well i thought about just putting her at a table where there were only votives and making just her table be the electric candles. but after hearing through the grapevine that my family is talking about my choices it seems like she cant even be in the room because of the smoke from the candles. I feel like its such an open space that it shouldn't be a problem but i don't know much about COPD so i don't know how it affects her. She has a small oxygen tank she can carry but she "doesn't like the way it looks" so she never carries it with her.

Your venue is beautiful and I don't think an electronic candle would take away from that! If she really can't be around candles anywhere and she's an important person to have at your wedding, I think you really have to put her health first.

Have you actually talked to HER?

Can you find out how bad the COPD actually is? Hearing it through the grapevine doesn't pay for new centerpieces. Perhaps you can alternate candle centerpieces with non-candle ones to reduce the smoke, and still seat her at an un-lit table, but I don't think you should have to change your entire vision for one person. :/

Yes. she hasnt expressed any of this to me herself. I asked her about it because i wanted to know if it would affect her. She seemed fine with it when i talked to her but i get the feeling that she just didn't want to upset me.---It upsets me more that they are talking about me and our wedding behind my back rather than just confronting me about it. I will change things around. I have no problem with that. I just need to know so i can plan the budget if i need to change things around

I don't think it's OK - you asked explicitly and if it is a problem she should have said something. I honestly do not think that somebody wouldn't tell you if they cannot breathe around a particular item. Breathing is kind of essential.

Can you put an electronic one just at her table? Can she not have candles in the room at all or just at her table?

Are you packing people into that place? I think there will be plenty of ventilation, so having her at an un-lit table should suffice. Perhaps ask her again, tell her that she's very important, so you want to make sure that the candles won't be a problem. I agree with Mrs. S, you asked and she should have been honest. She's the only one you need to check with, not everyone else that wants to talk.

Yea. I would think she would tell me if it was a problem. So when she said it would be ok i relaxed about it. Then i started hearing other people talk about how bad it would be for her and it really upset me.

What about doing some up lighting instead of the candles? It still gives that same romantic feel and still do your centerpieces just with a floating flower instead?

The talking behind your back is not ok though. I can tell how much you are worried about her, and your family should be able to see you are trying every thing in your power to fix this!

It is rather odd because most candles put out very little smoke. You can find the soy based soot free candles. http://www.pureintegrity.com/soot-free-candles.html I found this one for you to check out.

While LED candles can get expensive, you have that option. We have to use the LED candles because of our centerpieces. It the candle will go at the bottom of the vase, covered with a plastic clear layer then water beads on top.

I'd look into those soot free candles.

Give her a call and tell her what's going on and check with her one more time.

Something happening to someone at your wedding due to decor choices is going to upset you much more, than them being straightforward now.

I'll have to look into the soy candles. Im also going to talk to her and see what she really feels. I want everyone to be comfortable at the wedding and wouldnt want anything to happen to her.

I agree with @Kasey. Check out soy candles. You may have to pay a little more for a better quality candle, but you would still get the look you want.

Also, are those all french doors? You MAY be able to keep them open to help with the smoke.

One thing I saw looking at centerpieces were these vases lit from the bottom. It gave such a warm glow, no flame. Our venue does not even allow open flame (and I was planning on similar centerpieces as you) and I was looking at this option and the LED candles. www.save-on-crafts.com... awesome site. Plus recycledbride.com and ruffled.com have brides selling their stuff. Great places to look. Honestly I would imagine people wearing perfume/cologne affecting her COPD more. My grandmother had severe COPD although she did not need oxygen. But scents where what got her. Candles never did. But everyone is also different.

If you do use lit candles, please be very sure she does not have an oxygen tank as that is a very dangerous situation. Even a small amount of oxygen escaping from the tank or mask near an open flame (even a lit cigarette) can cause a fire. Could this be what your relatives are afraid of?