Really hurt by my bridesmaid :(

How can I when she is always criticizing my dress choices? Anyway, after the day ended, she came over to my house, and we were talking about wedding plans and she was going through bridesmaid dress ideas for David's Bridal and asking me for input. Which was fine I guess. But I made a big mistake showing her the dresses I tried on. She said she didn't like the strapless dress because it made me look fat (which I agree with), and that she liked the back of the V-neck dress but not the front. But I REALLY wanted to cry when I showed her the David's Bridal dress I have been loving for months, how it looked on the model and me and she was asking "why does it look different on you than on the model, because you have bigger hips?" Which is a fact, I know I am a pear/hourglass shape. But then she said that it made me look short and deformed. It just really hurts because I've always had body image issues, especially because I have been taking prednisone and put on a lot of weight, but thankfully I am losing now because I am getting healthier and reducing my dosage...she even criticized the podium I was on, saying it was dinky!

Here was the dress I tried on that my mom loved:

How can I when she is always criticizing my dress choices? Anyway, after the day ended, she came over to my house, and we were talking about wedding plans and she was going through bridesmaid dress ideas for David's Bridal and asking me for input. Which was fine I guess. But I made a big mistake showing her the dresses I tried on. She said she didn't like the strapless dress because it made me look fat (which I agree with), and that she liked the back of the V-neck dress but not the front. But I REALLY wanted to cry when I showed her the David's Bridal dress I have been loving for months, how it looked on the model and me and she was asking "why does it look different on you than on the model, because you have bigger hips?" Which is a fact, I know I am a pear/hourglass shape. But then she said that it made me look short and deformed. It just really hurts because I've always had body image issues, especially because I have been taking prednisone and put on a lot of weight, but thankfully I am losing now because I am getting healthier and reducing my dosage...she even criticized the podium I was on, saying it was dinky!

Here was the dress I tried on that my mom loved:

Then here is the V-neck dress I really loved, but decided it didn't flatter me in the pictures, but it looks way better in person (and it was 2 sizes bigger):

And then here's the David's Bridal dress I have tried on in January, the one where she said I looked short and deformed (when that was the only dress that lengthened me and made me look lean)...I posted this here in January and everyone loved it. I don't know, she wonders why I don't want to bring her. I won't kick her out because she's still my friend, but I guess she's the type that doesn't hold back on her opinions. She even showed me other similar David's Bridal dresses that were long sleeved that I could wear. But in my head I kept saying, I don't care if you don't like it on me, I like it on me. I still keep thinking about this dress.

I'm so sorry that she made some hurtful comments. She probably felt left out and started criticizing because she was hurt. Before dress shopping I would show my MOH dresses and she would tear them apart, but when we went shopping she didn't say a bad thing and started crying when I came out in my dress. I would take her to your next appointment. Even if you don't find the dress, she'll feel happy to be included.

Eta - They both look stunning, but I love the one with the lace sleeves. You look so beautiful and happy in it.

@therightLane: Probably. I started showing her my dress choices in November and she was really criticizing them, and showing her shade colors for possible bridesmaid dress and would say she didn't like it even when it was my wedding colors (burgundy, blush pink and gold). So that's what prompted me to decide to not bring her. And I guess I should have. She has watched more wedding shows than I ever have too, which is why she has such a strong opinion on these things.

@MrsPadilla2B that's understandable, so I know why you didn't bring her at first. She might surprise you though if you bring her. It's one thing to see a picture, but it's so much different in person. It's worth a try!

For what it's worth, I think the lace sleeved dress is stunning on you!

@MrsF2B Thank you! My mom was vacationing in the Philippines when I tried it on, so when my sister (MOH) sent her the picture, she wasn't too impressed and wanted me to keep looking, and so that's what we're doing to see what else is out there (to try on different styles), and to have that mother-daughter experience. She did say though that if I don't find anything then I should get that dress. She has been encouraging though, even though she loved the strapless ballgown wanted me to get it, she understood that I didn't love it, and does want me to get something I love.

1st of all.... You are beautiful. Not because I'm on WW and I'm being nice but because you really are.

2nd of all.... All 3 dresses look great on you. I like the one with the sleeves best, but your opinion and how you feel is what's most important.

3rd of all... Your bridesmaid should kick rocks with her bare toes. Some people... Ugh. Make sure you do her the same way when it's her turn lol. No seriously tho, some people just can't be happy for others. Ignore her and her unfounded opinions. Then pick her a hideous bridesmaid dress lol. Again jk.... Maybe ;-)

I agree with everyone above, the lace sleeved dress is beautiful! And in the end, its your day. So even if your mother doesn't love it, that's okay.

@Jessica I have a nagging feeling it's because she really wants to get married to her boyfriend too, and they have been dating a year before FH and I have, and she has all these wedding plans but he just wants to do it at the courthouse, or he brushes off the subject. But at the same time I believe they shouldn't because he is a jerk (very controlling and critical towards her) and they get into (verbal) fights a lot, and his mom does not like her at all. She comes to me a lot when they get into big fights, so I try to comfort her and I ask her why does she still keep holding on, and that she should consider letting him go because he's not going to change. But she has a hard time because they have been together for 8 years, and I guess with me getting engaged first, she sees that and wants it too so that's why she is acting the way she is, criticizing and giving me unsolicited advice. I am really trying to be sensitive about it though and I don't really talk about the wedding with her unless she brings it up, we talk about other stuff in our lives.

That lace sleeved dress was MADE FOR YOU GIRL!!!! Like damn!!! You look absolutely stunning in it!!! Don't let her rude comments get you down. I know it's hard when someone who's supposed to be on your side doesn't live up to the "friend" title. She is wrong on so many levels. People put up with a lot of crap when in close friendships, so I understand you keeping quiet about this. Sometimes it's just not worth the fight... She could easily be jealous of your engagement, feeling insecure about her relationship, or struggling with something else. If she was throwing shade at your choices from the start, she may not have had kinder things to say if you HAD invited her dress shopping... Then again, it is very possible she felt left out. It sounds like you want to keep the peace (that's usually the road I take, too) which is an okay choice. You could try and talk it out with her calmly, and let her know your feelings were hurt (and if you feel badly, you could apologize for excluding her, but don't apologize if you don't feel bad lol) and/or plan a dress appointment and include her in it this time. Hopefully one of your other bridesmaids calls her out and save you the drama if she says anything! But if she still acts like that, PLEASE don't feel insecure about yourself or your excellent dress choice. That dress is more than PERFECT on you!! It suits you beautifully, and if you know it's THE ONE, don't back out on account of one person's poor taste or personal issues! :-)

Wow. I don't understand how anyone could look at any of those photos and think you look fat! I think they look great on you and it's only a matter of style.

My favorite is the one with the lace sleeves! I have looked at the photo a few times now to see if I can find where they think you look deformed?! I truly do not see it. I think it looks great!!

With my wedding being still aways out, I haven't asked my any of my bridal party to be part of the wedding officially (however, I've had the same friends for YEARS, so it's kind of obvious to everyone), and I have one that has been critical of EVERY dress I've tried on (just shown pictures) so I am also hesitant on taking her shopping with me.

However, ALL THREE of the dresses look STUNNING on you! Personally, I like the strapless the best, BUT it's your day and the sleeve one is still gorgeous! Remember it's your day and to choose what makes you happy whether someone in your bridal party likes it or not.

You look amazing in the strapless but a bombshell in the lace sleeve gown!! Ignore her! She must be blind or jealous! You have to go with what YOU love and not worry about others! It's your day not theirs!

They look beautiful on you .

I love that DB dress. I actually kinda fell in love with it myself and (a bit) regret not getting it. If you love it, go for it! It is lovely on you.

ETA: It is unnerving to have other people critique you in dresses. I experienced it too. No advice here except to either not share with people or to learn to not care what they think (harder to do than said).

You look beautiful in all those dresses, the lace one is my favorite out of them all.

I love the dress with the lace sleeves on you. I think you look beautiful and if it is your dress you should get it. I dealt with the same things honestly. Everyone has different opinions. I was nervous to show some people my dress for that fear. But I felt gorgeous in my dress and to me that was all that mattered.