Really dislike Fiance's Brother's Wife

Welcome to the club.

I didn't ask either of FH's SILs. One I get along with...the other, not so much. I didn't ask FH's sister either so...

Its your bridal party -- you can have whoever you want and don't NEED to have anyone in it.

It's your day! Don't ask her if it makes you uncomfortable or if it will stress you in any way. This is supposed to be the most special day of your life, dont let anyone spoil it, but check with FH before making a final decision, you want his support and this to be a mutual situation. Good luck!

1. why do you think she would ruin your day? honestly i can't picture anyone ruining my day and i've got fucking psycho in-laws. The only way it would be ruined is if FH left me at the alter, because in my book as long as we're married the day is a success.

2. another vote for waiting until 8 months out

Don't ask her. YOU get to pick your bridal party, not your FMIL.

I haven't started asking anyone at all yet, my FMIL just asked us who we were thinking about being in the wedding and we told her.

She knows that I do not get along with my FBIL's wife, but said that she thinks it'll start drama. Like, FBIL's wife will tell him not to be a groomsmen if she is not allowed to be a bridesmaid (she's a little crazy like that).

It'd be nice if we were friends by the time it is time to ask people to be in the wedding party, but I seriously doubt it. We can't even have a simple conversation without her trying to out do me on who loves or SOs more or who has a better life... It's a little ridiculous, but fingers crossed things change!

Hell to the NO! You're lucky that you have plenty of time to pick your BP. I read an advice column that recommended not choosing your BP too early. I'm having one of my FSILs and not the other. The decision of who will stand with the bride is a deeply personal decision that no one should interfere with. I don't think other people should make any recommendations. Let alone pressure the bride. Hopefully your FH's groomsmen will agree to be in the wedding whether or not their SO's are included in the BP. When I chose to ask one FSIL and not the other, I explained myself to no one. Both of my FH's brothers and his 2 nephews are groomsmen. That means only the one FSIL isn't in the wedding. She's cantankerous and we're not close. No one has given me flak. I think it's best to wait until the wedding is closer, then make your BM decisions unapologetically. If someone questions you, you can simply say that only you know who your closest friends are and those are the women who've earned a place at your side.

It still baffles me how many people think they get a say in a wedding that isn't theirs! While I agree that you should wait to ask your bridal party (I wish I had) I would NOTHING EVER have someone in my wedding who i was not close with. i didn't even ask FIL to stand for me. We get along but aren't close and I know she doesn't even like to stand in weddings from past experience with her friends. I don't care what drama it would cause, DO NOT have her in your wedding.

You can't please everyone. Do what makes you happy. Maybe you can ask her to do something else instead. I have two girls that are greeters and are handing out programs, pointing people to the guest book, etc. Maybe that way she's still more or less included. Or have like your dog in the wedding and have her walk the dog down and train the dog to pee on her...jk! Sounds like she could really piss you off on your day saying things like "why aren't you doing this or that," or "if it were me I'd do this" etc and while I don't think that'd ruin your day, it would become really annoying. I'd say keep your distance, give her a minor role if you must.

No don't ask her if y'all aren't close. Don't try and please FMIL.

Definitely wait a good long while before asking anyone, as has already been suggested. When it's time, DO NOT let anyone guilt trip you. As it stands, she has no place being a BM for you.