Really dislike Fiance's Brother's Wife

Personally, I wouldn't. As far as the reception, you can allow your bridal party to sit with their significant others.

Don't ask her. You don't need that stress, and you have no obligation whatsoever beyond inviting her.

If you really think it's important to make her feel included, you could find another role -- reader, usher, etc.

I don't think that anyone should have a say in the bridal party other than the bride and groom. You should do what feels right to you. Have you talked to your FH about how you feel about this woman? Just remember that if you choose not to ask her to be a BM it may upset her and your FMIL, which doesn't make your situation easier, but its just something to consider. Your wedding is one day in a lifetime with them.

Do NOT ask her. My SIL never speaks to me, not Hi, bye, F you nothing. She was invited to both the shower and wedding and chose not to come. I would maybe consider a reader or guest book, but that would be it. Sandpiper is right, no need to pile on more stress.

If you dont get along with her then no. Your bridal party is suposed to be people that you love and care about and that love and care about you

@MFF is right on. You want people around you who will support you. Especially considering you have quite a while till your wedding.

Maybe your friendship will bloom by then..but dont do it to please your mil..

Regardless of what you choose, she should be allowed to sit with the bridal party at the reception. It's really awkward for someone's significant other to not be allowed to sit with them just because they're not part of the bridal party.

I wouldn't invite her. Your bridal people is supposed to be people you really care about and get along with.

Nope, don't do it. Too much potential for drama, not only on your wedding day, but your bridal shower, bachelorette, shopping for bridesmaid's dresses, etc. Sounds like she has the ability to suck the joy right out of you, with just her presence.

Helllll no. If you don't like her, then she shouldn't be in your BP

I wouldn't, and I agree with the others, the bride and groom should choose who stands up for them at their wedding.

I know how you feel, only do it if you want to. i didn't ask my FSIL, i am happy with my decision, if she is someone that you dont see your self being friends with/ knowing other than the fact that she is your FSIL then i wouldn't do it. it was really important to me that my BP was my closest friends/ family

No. My MiL also suggested my husband's brother's wife as a bridesmaid. She also has "problems" (best way I can put it). I simply said "I'm sorry, I don't know her well enough, my bridal party members have been in my life for 15+ years". Don't budge or you're going to end up being one of the people who has BM complaints.

OMG, it's almost two years away. Don't ask ANYONE this early; see how your relationship unfolds and take it from there.

I would not ask her to stand. You don't get along/you don't like her - it would be stupid to have her stand. Your bridal party should be your nearest and dearest.

I disagree about having her sit with the bridal party, too. She will know people there other than her H. She can sit with your FMIL and FFIL. Do they have children? She would need to sit with them anyway. Dinner lasts all of an hour. She is an adult and can sit with her in-laws. That is not an issue.

A few of our attendants had SOs not in the wedding party. A couple of them opted to sit with their SO's parents or other friends that were at the wedding. There were others who all sat together at a table that was right by the head table. There were no issues. We're all adults.

ETA: What Celia said! I asked by girls about 8 months out. I knew who I wanted to stand but didn't see any reason to ask them sooner. Plus, you never know what's going to happen between now and then.

I was asked to stand in a wedding that will be next Summer (June 2016). I was asked in August 2014. I think that is a little crazy. This couple is having 9 attendants on each side and I don't know the bride all that well. I feel like I am a place holder. I said yes because she is in our circle of friends (one of H's friends and his fiance) and I get to walk with H. It is going to be an awesome party with a lot of great people.

I agree with the others. Don't feel pressured to ask someone that you do not even like or feel close with to be in your wedding.

I say no, you need people with positive energy surrounding you.

Well - here is another point of view.

It is definitely too early -- but to not ask her to be in the wedding is potentially asking for more issues down the road with her. She will be family to you. Your FH knows his family best and you should do what HE thinks is right.

My husband and I have an agreement in our marriage: "You handle your family and I'll handle mine." What that means is...we have final say in our own families and we take the other's lead regarding familial norms. What seems fine in one family could cause a war in another.

Tread lightly.

You have 2 years to pick your bridal party. I would wait until like next September to decide. If things dont improve by then, or get worse, DONT DO IT! Really, the only things you should be doing this far in advance is doing a guestlist and a budget that matches, choose your venues, maybe looking for caterers, look for a photographer, and start THINKING about a dress. I would wait on the rest. A lot of things can change in that time peiod.